LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | No shade to anyone but I feel like a lot of people use this as a sneaky way to be homophobic. This is just my experience but as a trans woman I see people post constantly about misogynistic gay men but rarely ever see them irl tbh they’re usually (1/2)

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LGBTQIA+ 20h

No shade to anyone but I feel like a lot of people use this as a sneaky way to be homophobic. This is just my experience but as a trans woman I see people post constantly about misogynistic gay men but rarely ever see them irl tbh they’re usually (1/2)

LGBTQIA+ 20h

Happy pride to everyone except the hyperfem gay guys who think it’s okay to use their femininity as an excuse to disrespect women and be misogynistic

Anonymous 19h

i’m on your side op lmfao, as a gq lesbian, i know exactly what you’re talking about. do misogynistic gay men exist? yes. they are the minority though. this discourse cycle gets repeated constantly and a lot of people use it to launder their own homophobia. esp coming from a rural area, gay men have been some of my strongest allies. we’re a community.

Anonymous 20h

I know quite a few of them, but funny enough they’re the ones who are much deeper in the queer community. Like friends with all the local drag queens and outspoken queer people, always at LGBTQ+ events, etc. one that comes to mind is a coworker. She was a mean ass gay man before her transition, now she’s a mean woman with internalized misogyny. She’s been getting a little better since her transition but she has a lot to work on still

Anonymous 20h

Usually the ones affirming my identity and gassing me up publicly the most. In my personal experience most of the misogyny I’ve faced comes from straight men and cis lesbians using terfism to invalidate me.

Anonymous 19h

as someone who’s gotten more shit from women about “abandoning my gender” after starting T, thanks for speaking about this. men have only ever been accepting of me

Anonymous 20h

Not me. I’m just a lesbian who has been called a cunt, bitch, and dyke by multiple gem gay men who use their femininity excuse “it’s fine, I’m just one of the girls so it’s okay”

Anonymous 18h

Idk I’ve met several mean gays and I legit hate interacting with them cause it’s very reminiscent of mean middle school girls who make you feel dumb, but worse cause it’s a man

Anonymous

#1 20h

Fem**

Anonymous

OP 20h

Then that’s your experience. But that’s not everyone’s. This is a commonly talked about experience for women in the queer community, cis and otherwise.

Anonymous 20h

How am I invalidating your experience? It’s obvious I’m not talking about regular fem gay men who don’t do this. I’m not saying it’s all fem gay men. I’m specifically calling out a specific type. You’re getting up in arms about something I’m not even talking about.

Anonymous

#1 20h

I mean the same could be said about your experience. But like I said I only ever see this talked about on the internet and rarely witnessed in public. Although that’s kind of standard with discourse in this community

Anonymous 20h

I never said my experience is more valid than yours, I never said your experience is invalid. Please tell me where I did this.

-2

Anonymous

#2 20h

I will say though OOP did not have to include “hyperfem” in that description. There are masculine, feminine, and other gay men all over the spectrum who can be misogynistic.

Anonymous

OP 20h

im glad you rarely see it. you are not the only person to exist and have experiences. men being mysoginistic is pretty extremely normal, gay men being no exception

Anonymous

#2 20h

I’m not saying gay men can’t be misogynistic (they definitely can) I’m just saying I see a lot of discourse about gay men being misogynistic online but irl I rarely witness gay men being openly misogynistic. I just feel like this discourse (like many others) has become a more acceptable way for people to subtly air out their own bigotry while shielding themselves from criticism or accountability.

Anonymous

OP 20h

Kind of like how a lot of radfems use feminist discourse to subtly sneak TERFy/SWERFy bigotry into conversations

Anonymous

#3 20h

Not what I’m saying at all but it’s a two way street, your experiences also aren’t universal, regardless of how condescending you try to be 😊

Anonymous

#4 19h

like everyone is tired of the “bi women shouldnt bring their homophobic boyfriends to pride” discourse. does it happen? yes. should it? no. is the discourse mostly a trojan horse for biphobia? yes. same concept.

Anonymous

#6 18h

I’ve met straight men, women, lesbians, and nonbinary people that do the exact same, so by that logic they’re all evil too

Anonymous

OP 18h

There’s definitely a stereotype of Regina George gays that are a bit of a problem but they’re not the majority