lesbians on Sidechat | Would you agree with #3 in the comments? That people who don’t immediately find out they’re gay and mingle with the opposite sex a bit are dumb af or “aren’t to be trusted” like she says in the original post. Such a dumb thing to criticize people about

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lesbians 1d

Would you agree with #3 in the comments? That people who don’t immediately find out they’re gay and mingle with the opposite sex a bit are dumb af or “aren’t to be trusted” like she says in the original post. Such a dumb thing to criticize people about

Confessions 1d

Now we’re ranking lesbians? Not all lesbians become lesbians cuz they hate men, it means they found something they are more attracted to about women. Now you have a deadline to become a lesbian before you’re an expired lower-life lesbian? Tf

Anonymous 20h

no honestly sexuality is a deeply personal thing to discover, and some people really don’t know what they like until they finally find it! plus everyone has their own timelines. i don’t think she did anything wrong. sounds like comphet too

Anonymous 23h

No, I strongly disagree. Sometimes we all do things that makes us feel bad for different reasons. I thought if I could just be straight and force it, it would be easier and better for my family.

Anonymous 5h

comphet absolutely exists and you have to be ignorant af to not acknowledge it. whether we like it or not, women are conditioned as young girls to harbor some interest in men. from the princess and prince stories to the boy bands to the romcoms. so much of growing up as a girl centers the idea that women loves men. and it can be so difficult to realize that it was all just front you were keeping to feel normal and connected to girlhood/womanhood. it’s okay to not have it figured out immediately.

Anonymous

#1 23h

I’ve always envied the people who do stuff just to make themselves happy without worrying about how everyone else will be effected

Anonymous

#1 23h

Exactly. Everyone has personal reasons for not immediately jumping for it and yeah it comes to some people more than others but that doesn’t make their queerness more legit or higher status because of it

Anonymous

#2 8h

She was shaming people for not discovering their sexuality sooner calling them “dumb as fuck” and then deleted the post and pretended it was about something else

Anonymous

#3 5h

following that, some of what #3 implies too is very harmful. she reinforces the negative stereotypes that people have about lesbians where no matter how much they tell you that they aren’t attracted to men, they secretly might or have some room for attraction to men. and that’s simply not true. lesbians, regardless of their past, are lesbians. and it’s important that we believe them.

Anonymous

#3 5h

i also think a lot of people don’t understand what love and attraction is supposed to feel like until they find it. so many women unfortunately settle for men thinking “this will do.” the truth is, not all lesbians were absolutely miserable with men. they just didn’t realize that what they felt wasn’t love/attraction but rather tolerance, again because of that conditioning from early on.

Anonymous

#3 4h

Would the insincere attraction to men in the past count as part of the stereotype if they didn’t know what they wanted at the time?

Anonymous

OP 4h

i’m not sure i’m understanding your question honestly so let me know if i’m not answering it but what i’m saying is that the moment a woman knows she’s a lesbian and says it, we should believe her. her past relationships with men could have been part of her journey to self discovery and it’s harmful to assume that because she was with men in the past she must have some room for attraction to them. lesbians don’t secretly like men or have room for attraction to them.

Anonymous

#3 4h

Ah that makes sense. I didn’t know if having done things with men in the past before discovering oneself to be a lesbian was part of the stereotype cuz I was thinking well then the only exception would’ve been if someone knew from day 1 from the womb they were a lesbian and that didn’t make sense but that makes more sense now

Anonymous

OP 4h

no of course not. the stereotype is more so that all lesbians secretly have the ability to be attracted to men but actively choose against it. which is not true but this stereotype is especially strong for lesbians who have been with men. people can’t accept that their time with a man wasn’t fulfilling, that they must have enjoyed them at some point. and it’s a harmful stereotype for all lesbians because it reinforces the idea that the lesbian identity is a choice when it’s not.