Hot Takes on Sidechat | This just sounds like rape apologetics to me 🤷🏾‍♀️

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Hot Takes 1d

This just sounds like rape apologetics to me 🤷🏾‍♀️

Hot Takes 3d

The most damaging and tangible convention of “rape culture” is the widespread tradition of women communicating badly on purpose. Every single thing anyone does or says to reinforce that its mens role to read womens minds & decide what she *really* wants.

Anonymous 1d

I do not think that it is the biggest issue, because of course the worse issue is that people rape, but that doesn’t mean that the issue this person points out does not exist. We have normalised mixed signals as consent (which everyone is to blame for). The erotica and pornography that is being consumed rarely features clear consent, and oftentimes features coercion, or the expectation that we are to read our partner’s mind. Consent is a clear, audible, and consistent “yes”, anything else is no

Anonymous 1d

it sounds like that to me too. why are men so willing to point out womens faults, and not theyre own? hmm i wonder

Anonymous 18h

It’s 100% rape apologetics.

Anonymous 15h

what a weird self report by OOP

Anonymous 1d

Does it actually? Because if so it help your comprehension if you read more. Or do you just enjoy your harmful behaviors so much you don’t like being reminded they make others less safe? You know, nobody’s actually telling you you need to stop or change your behavior, just that choosing to do so would make women safer. If you don’t like hearing that then maybe you should just skip over any conversation about “rape culture” bc that’s kinda the whole point of acknowledging it.

Anonymous 1d

Calling out behaviors that undermine consent is actually the opposite of rape apologetics but go off

-1

Anonymous

#3 1d

Men are shy about acknowledging their own faults? On this planet? Almost 100% of discussion on this subject focuses on that. But aspects of rape culture within the control of women are almost completely ignored. I’ve never even seen this acknowledged before. Which seems like a great reason to mention it, no?

-2

Anonymous

#1 1d

yeah, pretend that men are the ones making progress in feminism. that makes so much sense

Anonymous

#4 1d

I would hope that this person does not truly believe that this is the “most damaging and tangible convention of rape culture”, but rather sees it as a big problem that needs addressing. I don’t know though, and I understand if people didn’t appreciate their post.

Anonymous

#3 1d

Idk when we started measuring “progress in feminism” but if that means reflecting on the faults of your respective gender then where did you come up with “pretending”? Even your own reaction pretty clearly shows how much less willing you are to do that

-2

Anonymous

#4 1d

I think rape and rape culture are defined as two different things. Rape isn’t a PART of rape culture, but a consequence of it. Contributors to rape culture are all those things that normalize or conceal it, not the crime itself. So intentionally terrible communication isn’t WORSE than rape, but rather its greatest ally, as far as cultural practices

Anonymous

#1 23h

Okay interesting. I wasn’t focused on definitions but what you said makes sense. I wasn’t entirely sure if “rape culture” was a thing, but that does make sense.

Anonymous

#1 18h

That’s actually wrong because rape is literally at the top of the rape culture pyramid. They aren’t separate. They go hand and hand.

Anonymous

#1 18h

It is literally so easy to ensure someone is giving you consent. Not saying what the other op mentioned doesn’t happen, but “mixed signals” can be easily understood by simply ASKING if they’re giving you consent or not. It’s not rocket science. Grow a pair and make sure the other person is giving you enthusiastic consent.