Anonymous OP 1w

Completely agree and it’s kinda sad you’re getting downvoted 😭 this is a very reasonable take

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Anonymous #1 1w

Is this chat always like this? Bro had a genuine question that lots of men are probably wanting an answer to and it’s almost all just like terrible hateful replies and gaslighting. I feel like those types of responses just help push sad people into hateful people.

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Anonymous OP 1w

And IK some people would respond to that by saying “fine, not my problem” but it sorta is our problem in a way yk? It’s not a win for the country if someone falls into far right extremist circles bc of a rude liberal just like it’s not a win if someone falls into incel - woman hating circles bc of some rude women who just didn’t express themselves well

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Anonymous OP 1w

There are some normal people in here and there are also some very reactionary people, as with any anonymous app I think some people just get on here to stir up drama and hate because there’s no consequences

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Anonymous OP 1w

However, it’s not women’s fault incels exist, and it’s not annoying liberals’ fault nazis exist either, at the end of the day YOU make the choice to generalize an entire group and become hateful because of it

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Anonymous #1 1w

Yeah it’s just this chat in particular seems so negative and nasty whenever I read comments. Like 6 separate people agree that it’s ok to tell someone to die over asking a question? What’s that about?

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Anonymous #1 1w

It’s not their fault that those people exist, no. However more far right extremists and violent incels are bad for everyone. Why treat a genuine question with cruelty to win a few upvotes when you could instead respond neutrally or with kindness and maybe help someone find the right path? If your goal is to make things better then this path of cruelty just seems to help nobody.

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Anonymous #2 1w

Ig you consider asking a question annoying? Many in that chat seemed to. Many of those conversations were him saying “why do they say I hate all men if they don’t hate me personally” and people replying “stop whining”.

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Anonymous OP 1w

asking the initial question was not annoying. him posting 7 replies in a row to every single comment all saying the exact same thing was annoying

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Anonymous OP 1w

Seems like women are maybe as responsible as men for the gender wars ruining society?

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Anonymous #3 1w

I wouldn’t even say gender wars, I’d call it growing pains. Gender roles and old norms are falling by the wayside and women are feeling more authority to speak out about abuse from men; all good things. However men trying to fit in are trying to find their place and understandably have a hard time thinking of themselves as trash just for existing. I just think we need to give eachother some grace and try to learn from each other, even though we’ve all been hurt by the opposite gender

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Anonymous OP 1w

Meaning yes the patriarchy created this but that OP is likely just a guy trying to find his place like we’re all trying to find ours. I think we can do that with kindness instead of taking out our anger towards the patriarchy on this one guy because he feels a bit hurt that people refer to men as trash just for

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Anonymous OP 1w

-“just for”, autocorrect typo

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Anonymous #2 1w

I think that’s because the majority of the relies were rudely dismissive instead of actually helpful. There were a couple helpful replies tho

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Anonymous OP 1w

as a guy who was SAed and was invalidated irl by people I considered friends, this part hurt. the OOP can be led to a different set of beliefs w/o others telling him his likely-traumatic experiences simply didn’t happen, which wouldn’t have been said if he wasn’t a man. this is a nuanced subject and people are being divisive for literally no reason

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Anonymous OP 1w

his problem with the replies (including the ones trying to be helpful) was that they didn’t actually solve or address his frustration. being told that you need to cut off your toe to save a life doesn’t change the fact that it’s painful to cut your toe off. but talking abt that feeling was consistently taken as “annoying,” and he was dismissed for it.

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Anonymous #5 6d

Have you considered it seems you are trying to squeeze “the shoe” on every man when you say stuff like that? Men are assumed to wear “the shoe” by default unless proven otherwise and how that may be perceived?

0

Anonymous #3 5d

it’s a generality. people make them all the time. stop being so easily offended and wanting to play victim. pretending the whole world hates you and you’re a victim because of general statements about toxic or bad men is such an such ick and will definitely make women not like you, making your false belief a reality. get off red pill content and actually talk to a girl

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Anonymous #5 5d

5 I’m sorry but this doesn’t make any sense at all, 3 is perfectly reasonable in addressing the incongruencies here. You’re defending some version of the phrase “all men are trash” which literally means all men, that’s just how the language works with that statement. However you’re admitting that it shouldn’t be taken to mean literally all men, just the toxic ones. However saying something like “not all men” is still apparently inaccurate / unacceptable?

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Anonymous OP 5d

And the action of saying “not all men”, which we all agree is valid to describe the good men, somehow defends the bad ones? And then you’re gonna act like 3 is being unreasonable or wanting a cookie for simply not wanting to be clumped in with bad men, considering they aren’t one of the bad men? That sounds like berating someone for not wanting to be clumped in with a bunch of racists something, it’s understandable to not accept being clumped in with a bad group of people if you aren’t one

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Anonymous OP 5d

Not trying to say that men are the most downtrodden people on the planet for having this sweeping generalization made about all of them but I think we can be honest about how strange the set of rules is that you’ve outlined about how people should speak about and think about this phrase. It’s understandable that good men want a way to think about themselves and talk about themselves that isn’t purely derogatory

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Anonymous OP 5d

it doesn’t make sense because you’re a guy who lacks critical thinking apparently. if a women is talking about a man doing something negative to her and you choose to insert yourself and say well i didn’t do it to you !! nobody cares or is going to give you an award for that like you’re begging for apparently. if you know you’re a good guy- don’t get offended and move on with your day. you aren’t going to get rid of generalities so trying to fight anyone who uses them is dumb

0

Anonymous OP 5d

cry a river about how you’re so misunderstood instead of missing the point that it shouldn’t even have to be that way if your gender didn’t make it that way. 1/7 (reported- likely more) women are sexually assaulted by a man and you trying to minimize that by saying well it wasn’t me ! is invalidating and irrelevant. we will know if you aren’t one of the bad ones you don’t need to tell everyone or take offense to everything and make yourself a victim

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Anonymous OP 5d

maybe to make it in terms you’ll understand- it’s the same concept of the black lives matter movement and people chiming in all lives matter

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Anonymous #5 5d

I’m not talking about inserting yourself in a woman’s story about some abuse, I’m talking about (as I tried to say specifically in my comment) the widely used phrase “all men are trash” or some variation of It, which is what this thread is about.

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Anonymous OP 5d

Again it’s not an award to not be clumped in with bad people, that’s a somewhat reasonable expectation. We grew up thinking in the ‘innocent until proven guilty’ mindset and this works the opposite way.

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Anonymous OP 5d

It’s not invalidating or irrelevant at all, no. There are huge issues with men sexually assaulting and otherwise assaulting women, absolutely. I hope I never gave you the idea that I disagree with that. However men who don’t abuse people and don’t assault people very understandably don’t want to be referred to as if they are those people.

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Anonymous OP 5d

Correctly saying “I didn’t commit these terrible offenses even though someone from my group did” in no way takes away from the pain or legitimacy of that offense. Sort of absurd to act like it does.

3

Anonymous OP 5d

It’s a bit different than that. Black Lives Matter is saying these people are vulnerable and need to be protected, all lives matter is acting like there are no unique vulnerabilities for black people when there obviously are. That doesn’t include a guilty conviction for any sweeping group of people.

4

Anonymous OP 5d

However saying all men are trash does automatically convict all men of being some level of criminal or abuser, there’s no way for it not to mean that. As far as what the words literally mean anyway. Saying “not all men” doesn’t negate the fact that many men do these terrible things, it just is a more accurate and specific way to address the problem.

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Anonymous OP 5d

I guess this could all really be boiled down to, why can’t you say “not all men”? You yourself admitted that it is factually true, not all men are at fault here. If you believe it’s true and you want men to have that knowledge in their heads when they hear “all men are trash” then why is it so wrong to simply say “not all men” in the first place? Just seems like a lot of strange semantics around this

0

Anonymous OP 5d

i already said in my last reply. generalities are common and used constantly. you’re not going to get people to stop saying it so if that’s the point of this good luck. it’s the same as any generality/stereotype if it happens common enough that the majority of people feel that way they’re going to phrase it that way. it is the majority of men they feel that suck and that’s why they say it. how else are you going to phrase it? 67% of men suck 😩😩 nah.

1

Anonymous OP 5d

having to comment at all to tell them it’s not all men when it’s obvious that it doesn’t literally mean every single man is just annoying and ppl don’t want to hear it. so as i’ve repeatedly said if it doesn’t apply to simply don’t get offended. until it’s not a majority of men treating women badly that phrase isn’t going to change

3

Anonymous OP 5d

it’s actually the same. people imply since you’re saying black lives matter that “other lives don’t then?” the same way you’re implying that if a girl is venting that men she’s experienced all suck “oh so you’re telling me i suck then?” like it’s not your place or battle to try to minimize women’s experiences. i don’t get why you’re choosing to take offense to things if they don’t apply to you

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Anonymous #5 5d

Eh honestly I don’t think this is going anywhere, we seem to be missing eachother. Thanks for your comments and input tho, genuinely appreciated the conversation 🙏

2