Anonymous #1 1d

Dude’s a nuisance. He’s lonely and craves femme attention to a socially debilitating degree.

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Anonymous #5 1d

In case his post gets taken down. Need this guy to see this

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Anonymous #5 1d

Images can’t be in a reply ig

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Anonymous #3 22h

Simply talking to women makes me less lonely. I want to do it on here still, just not in an antagonistic way

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Anonymous #5 22h

Do u think female friends would help?

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 19h

maybe, but doing some research or smth on how to make them more comfortable beforehand will save you & them a lot of grief. if you’re fr about this then I’m proud of you

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Anonymous #7 19h

Do u have any advice?

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 19h

the most direct way would likely be participating in feminist spaces or reading at least one feminist book (e.g. Women Don’t Owe You Pretty by Florence Given) or documentary (e.g. Miss Representation). I also highly recommend learning about toxic masculinity as it’s very eye-opening when you deconstruct it. exposing yourself to media by women & with realistic women characters can help your journey as well

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 19h

and learning abt the LGBTQ+ community & sexuality/gender (though more so gender) helped me a lot as well. for both, I’d recommend the Trevor Project articles on them, which you can find by looking up “Trevor Project ally to trans people” for gender & “trevor project sexual orientation” for multiple articles on orientation

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Anonymous #7 19h

Can u imagine me in a feminist space? Lol. Can u imagine me being accepted in a space dominated by women? I’d feel out of place

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 19h

and recognize when media is hurting you, too. I used to watch a Reddit Stories guy who was misogynistic & homophobic & that really shaped how I saw both women & queer people. I stopped watching him, & not exposing myself to content like that definitely helped. but in general, reading educational resources is the most direct & effective way to start, & after that it’s more about immersing yourself in those concepts & behaviors

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 19h

hey man, I used to feel ostracized just like you. the difference between acceptance and rejection is in how open you are to learning & changing your behavior. prepping yourself through educational resources is a great first stepping stone, but you gotta remember you’re there to learn. it definitely feels weird and often uncomfortable, but that’s how you know you’re improving.

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Anonymous #7 19h

Like, I feel uncomfortable when I’m the only man someplace

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 19h

I 100% get that, which is why I recommend learning more abt feminism & gender before exposing yourself to that. part of your discomfort is likely in worrying about doing smth wrong or being judged: just remember that accepting when you’ve made a mistake & endeavoring to grow will erase a lot of hostility. I took a while before I made friends with women, but deconstructing my own toxic masculinity & preconceptions about women prepared me for it. even just consuming media by women helped me a ton

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 18h

most of my friends are now women btw so it genuinely does get better. but it only gets better if you’re willing to put in the time & effort & can open up your perspective to try understanding others’ experience. and trust me when I say it’s rewarding. I learned more about myself and moved past a lot of behavior that were harmful to my own health

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Anonymous #7 18h

What kind of behaviors? How’d u meet them?

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 18h

hmmm… the main one was trying to “prove” my masculinity in very unhealthy ways. I was very reckless & got myself injured multiple times because of it, & I put a lot of my self-worth on how much attention I got from others (especially women, since I’d been conditioned to see them as alien, separate, & desired). my mood was always up & down based on how much attention I thought I got from women I didn’t even know

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 18h

I think my main turning point was picking up a Zine about toxic masculinity, since I felt emasculated constantly & knew I was doing something wrong. reading it made me realize just how self-destructive & objectifying I was being to both myself & those around me. I’ve always been attention-seeking, but my perception of my own gender & that of others fed into that & made it my everything.

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Anonymous #7 18h

Hmm. Yeah, I do act a certain way to prove my masculinity and get women’s attention. I try to act cool/tough, and I think I seem insecure

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 18h

that’s a big reason why I recommend learning about toxic masculinity since it directly addresses the behaviors & thoughts you’re having about yourself, which is a huge foundation for other dehumanizing & objectifying behaviors. once that topples, you’ll have a much easier time reconciling with other behaviors

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 18h

yeah I constantly felt bad about myself because of it & that externalized as not seeing others as valuable/as people since I, myself, barely saw myself as a person. it was genuinely a self-humiliation ritual and it’s an insane breath of fresh air to not feel that way anymore. if nothing else, I’d recommend looking into resources on deconstructing toxic masculinity

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Anonymous #7 18h

I feel more feminine actually. I’m not a macho man. I have more in common with women in some ways, believe it or not

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 18h

hell yeah, dude. I found out I was the same way, and that I didn’t connect to manhood like what was expected. that was another unhealthy behavior, and I was able to embrace it & feel more like myself because of it. that’s partly why I’m friends with so many women, since I connect with them some ways & with my guy friends in others

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Anonymous #7 18h

So I’m scared of women bc I feel the pressure to perform a certain version of masculinity for them?

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Anonymous cool_intellectual 17h

kind of, you’re performing for yourself for the most part. like I said tho it’s a great idea to look into toxic masculinity resources since they’ll explain it better than a YY user lol

3