Anonymous #1 1d

I’m don’t get a new glass?

-3

Anonymous cool_intellectual 1d

*I

-3

Anonymous cool_intellectual 1d

I think people can be redeemed but it takes a lot of work over a long time. It can’t be done overnight. You will always have your past but hopefully you can be better in the future

11

Anonymous #1 1d

Do u think I can date if I’m better in the future?

-3

Anonymous #2 1d

I want love tho

-4

Anonymous #2 1d

Easy for someone to say who already gets love

-4

Anonymous cool_intellectual 1d

I think you need to be doing this for other reasons. Maybe one day you will find someone but you need to be doing this for different reasons and you can’t expect one person to fix your life yk?

12

Anonymous #4 1d

Also, if you are actively looking for a relationship or are desperate… women ALWAYS sense it, and it’s just not gonna happen. Bluntly put, almost all women are cowards (a lot men, too, myself included), so don’t ever expect them to do the work of initiating contact. So here’s your only real path forward (& frankly mine, too): Work on yourself. Never treat ANY woman as a potential relationship, but rather just as any ole’ person & try to learn about them.

9

Anonymous #4 1d

I’ll even make you a deal: If you agree to find & see a therapist, I’ll do the same. I’ve been dragging my feet on it b/c of insurance stuff, my specific criteria for therapeutic methods & expertise, & general stubbornness. So, if you really want to save someone’s life… how about you save mine?

11

Anonymous #4 1d

U contradicted urself. If u are actively looking for a relationship you are desperate, yet I shouldn’t expect women to do the work of initiating contact? I’m sorry, but not sure ur advice is that helpful, given that u are 24 & never dated. Ur advice, which is the usual advice given by women, assumes a certain degree of default attraction from the opposite sex, which is what makes a passive approach work for women.

-1

Anonymous cool_intellectual 1d

What I’ve learned from observation is that u need to treat her as more than a friend for her to see u as more than a friend

-1

Anonymous #4 1d

I am seeing a therapist next week Tuesday

3

Anonymous #1 1d

If my mindset is what’s keeping me from dating, then a change in mindset would make it easier to date, yes? I’m not bad looking and it’s not looks, according to ppl on here. I don’t expect it to fix everything, but it adds a lot to life. I would treat her like she completes me

-1

Anonymous cool_intellectual 1d

I’ve never had a romantic relationship

6

Anonymous #2 1d

You’ve surely had men who are interested tho

-2

Anonymous #5 1d

I’d move on to someone else. Once I figure out how to talk to women, I will have options. I do have empathy

-2

Anonymous cool_intellectual 1d

It’s getting over the fear of rejection

-2

Anonymous cool_intellectual 1d

I am a man but that’s still a possibility ig

9

Anonymous cool_intellectual 1d

There’s been several instances of you NOT having empathy, actually. Look up examples of empathy and sympathy and *learn*

8

Anonymous #5 1d

I have selective empathy maybe?

-2

Anonymous #5 1d

I just get hyper-fixated on my own loneliness, to the exclusion of women’s issues

-1

Anonymous cool_intellectual 1d

Yes, it is contradictory that if you are seeking a relationship you probably will not find one. No woman wants a guy with no dreams/aspirations/ambitions beyond being into a relationship. That’s just how it is. Nobody will ever love you if you don’t love yourself first. I hate that saying but it is not wrong. If you don’t at least like yourself, you will never be confident. And guess what happens if you aren’t confident in yourself?

1

Anonymous cool_intellectual 23h

Fix your own head first, love yourself, then just… talk to ‘em like people and keep zero expectations. Apologies if I sound like an asshole. I really feel for you, man, I do. Loneliness ate me up on the inside for a long time, too. Until I realized & accepted that (1) I am honestly prob not mature enough for a relationship yet & (2) a relationship won’t magically heal me or my deeper insecurities.

1

Anonymous cool_intellectual 23h

Well… a deal is a deal. Dammit

1