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Writing 4w

BE HONEST. is this writing style good or mid af

Anonymous 4w

I do agree with folks that it needs to be edited into a more readable grammar, but I also think you shouldn’t resist this style if it’s how you get the thoughts out. I usually enjoy tightening up loose prose more than I like fleshing out conservative prose when I’m editing.

Anonymous 4w

I think you could take out “Simon” in the second paragraph and “in this way at the start of the third.

Anonymous 4w

I would say generally you should try to take the idea you’re trying to get across and have it displayed by actions instead of narrated. The last sentence could be shown instead of told to the reader

Anonymous 4w

I like it but some of the sentences are runons.

Anonymous 3w

I ADORE the overuse of commas and grammatical fluff!! A bit of punctuation that might help- it helps me because I also use a lot of commas as well (top mark by my teachers was always huge circles on every comma haha)- ; is huge for “run on” sentences. When used properly it can take a run on sentence and turn it into something grammatically correct, even if long sentence

Anonymous 4w

I LOVE lengthier sentences and “fluffier” prose (two of my favorite authors are V.E. Schwab and Oscar Wilde)! So I really do enjoy reading this. That being said, I think even with more “complex” writing styles, there still has to be a little succinctness to them; I usually achieve this through picking a few of the longer sentences to keep and shortening the ones around them. It keeps a better flow (which I also recommend reading your work aloud to hear the rhythm) and it’s also good for-

Anonymous 4w

I love the way you describe things! I would definitely break some of your longer sentences up into shorter ones though. The tone and personality of the character absolutely come through in your writing, the long sentences just make it difficult to keep track of what’s going on since there isn’t really any spots where your mind can take a break in between sentences to process, if it makes sense! Anyway, whatever you’re writing seems very interesting and cool! I’d love to hear more abt it :D

Anonymous 4w

Not trying to be mean those are just my thoughts

Anonymous 4w

i think it’s hard to read with the excess comma placements and the beginning (now). i think just starting with coming home from work gives the impression that thjs is now

Anonymous 4w

If you look at really good writers like Stephen king or Gabriel Garcia their writing is really short and punchy. Yours seems a bit fluffy, kinda seems like you’re flattering yourself by writing really thick prose, but that makes it less enjoyable to read

Anonymous 4w

Personal opinion (and I’m not an expert at all so like don’t take this too seriously) I feel like the flow isn’t there. It’s a lot of run on sentences where I have to go back to the start of it to remember what the original point of the sentence was.

Anonymous 4w

The style works but you have some run on sentences

Anonymous 4w

take some inspiration from david foster wallace, you can use formal language and complex vocab without sounding like a pretentious square. write like you’re talking to someone. and if you talk like this, damn

-3

Anonymous

#2 4w

I really like all the details and random information because it feels like the story lives and breathes rather than just existing strictly to tell only what’s necessary, so I really love the tid bits about the cost of things and where they got them from.

Anonymous

#2 4w

I think a little change in the sentence structure and it would be perfect, but that’s just my personal opinion

Anonymous

#1 4w

Ooh okay thank you

Anonymous

#1 4w

Damn alright thanks. That’s the kind of thing I needed to hear. I just sort of fall into writing long prose naturally but I agree I could cut down some. However King and Garcia aren’t exactly my writing goals but I def agree with you

Anonymous

#2 4w

Okay thanks that helps a lot. I was sort of feeling that way too but couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. I enjoy long, complex sentences but you’re right that I could use them more sparingly

Anonymous

#2 4w

Thank you! I like those details too. I think you’re right also because they would feel more impactful if some of the outside information was delivered more concisely

Anonymous

#1 4w

lol don’t worry. I wanted honest feedback because I’ve been really stuck with writing lately and needed direction

Anonymous

OP 4w

I’ve seen things about how to balance long sentences where it highlights each sentence in a different color to show the flow of the text, maybe you could find long writing that you like and highlight their flow of long sentences to other sentences and use that as a good baseline?

Anonymous

#2 4w

Ooh that’s such a good idea. Thank you so much :)

Anonymous

#3 4w

Thanks for your feedback. I sometimes do run on sentences on purpose but I agree that this passage has some sentences that are way too long

Anonymous

#1 4w

Thanks again so much for the feedback :)

Anonymous

#4 4w

Oooh okay thank you. I won’t try to resist because it’s more important to write, but I’ll definitely take this into account

Anonymous

#7 4w

lol okay. i guess i appreciate the brutality but that is rather brutal. I agree with the other comments that I need to cut down on my sentences and murder my darlings some but I must admit I disagree with you when it comes to writing like I’m talking to someone. I’m a terrible speaker. But I will take the advice and read some Wallace.

Anonymous

OP 4w

write like you’re telling a story to a girl at a party not like you’re telling it to ur english teacher

-3

Anonymous

#7 4w

i know it’s hardh this is the most helpful advice you’ll get because as it is it sounds like a robot wrote it and it’ll actually be replaced by AI. dig into your soul for it

-3

Anonymous

#7 4w

It’s a style of writing. Not everything has to be 5th grade level writing and clearly OP’s intention is to write with more eloquent words. This doesn’t sound AI generated or robotic, and what you’re saying is honestly just disrespectful towards any writer on here.

Anonymous

#7 4w

And it could actively be the intention to write this guys perspective and narration as a “pretentious square” (which it didn’t come off that way to me)

Anonymous 4w

You see you just could say that rather than insulting their writing. And I gave my two cents on their writing and RESPECTFULLY

Anonymous 4w

Honestly you sound much more like a pretentious ass than OP’s writing 🙄

Anonymous

#7 4w

I understand what you’re saying for sure. I think I’ll rather keep developing my personal style and dig into my soul for it that way rather than dumb it down a bit, but I agree it’s feeling a bit pretentious. Thanks for the advice

Anonymous 4w

Ooh interesting word choice suggestion. I think I might have to take you up on that one

Anonymous

#8 4w

emphasizing the sentence you want the attention on.

Anonymous

#10 3w

Tends to be used to add more weight to the line it’s written in, if that makes sense. Or at least, that’s how I use it!

Anonymous

#10 3w

I’m a big punctuation user too. I think I didn’t do a great job of using them correctly though in this passage—thanks for pointing out something for me to pay attention to!!

Anonymous

#8 3w

This advice is GREAT tysm. I agree and will definitely be taking this advice to heart.

Anonymous

#9 3w

Okay thank you so much! I definitely agree and will try to incorporate that. And also if you mean it I’d love to talk to you about this story lol

Anonymous

OP 3w

i’d love to!! i may not reply back immediately because i am not feeling well rn but your story genuinely does sound interesting and i want to hear more about it!