Trans Talk on Sidechat | How do we feel abt femboys? Some of my trans friends dont like the idea of them. Others say they are fine with it. I also see afab femboys too. Personally as a transfem i dont think i can really say much about others expressing gender though.

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Trans Talk 1d

How do we feel abt femboys? Some of my trans friends dont like the idea of them. Others say they are fine with it. I also see afab femboys too. Personally as a transfem i dont think i can really say much about others expressing gender though.

Anonymous 1d

I like the existence of femboys, it’s not my place or anyone’s place to police anyone and their expression but I personally like that men can be feminine in so many different ways, and it gives me hope that I don’t have to give up every single feminine thing as I transition. I’m a transman who likes glitter, skirts, long hair, eye makeup, and other feminine things that i don’t want to give up/want to see more normalized among men

Anonymous 22h

the idea of feminine men is great, however the term was made for porn to deny trans women their womanhood and still objectify them for their feminity. I've also had it personally thrown at me to deny me womanhood, and people trying to force me back into the closet ("why dont you just be a feminine man") and like, I've seen a bunch of other trans women get the same thing thrown at them constantly which makes me dislike the term.

💕

Anonymous 1d

do with ur body what u wish is my philosophy. i'm not about to start policing bodily autonomy because then you become no better than a terf or conservative.

Anonymous 16h

I sometimes call myself a femboy to my very close friends. I’m feminine-ish, I’m sort of a boy, sometimes I feel like the term fits me. That being said, I wish the term wasn’t so often sexualized.

Anonymous 1d

most of the critiques of femboys (not as individuals but like the existence of the concept) is their sexualization, not the feminine presentation

Anonymous 1d

i'm not fussed about it.

Anonymous 22h

the idea is fine but the community is largely super annoying, fetishy, and transphobic

Anonymous 19h

I don’t care at all is just people expressing themselves :3

Anonymous

#5 20h

I used to be a part of the community and the places I was in were largely very supportive of trans people (trans guy femboys, non-binary femboys, questioning cis femboys, etc). most of the transphobia and fetishizing I saw was from non-femboys invading the spaces, & the only “annoying” parts came from younger people finding their footing in embracing femininity

Anonymous

#5 20h

obviously you’re only speaking from your experience, but that’s why I share mine as well since I’ve had a very different one

Anonymous

#7 16h

they're very weird about trans women. if i had a nickel for every post i've seen complaining about "trans women pressuring femboys into transitioning" i'd have a few dollars.

Anonymous

#5 16h

tbf egg culture interacts with femboys a LOT. I myself had someone i barely knew irl (who happened to be a trans woman) make a post about how I was “a huge egg” and “should just transition so [she & I] could kiss” (ftr I was openly not into women at the time, and she was upset when I later came out as non-binary instead). obviously it’s wrong to make judgements about all trans women based on a loud minority, but it’s not like it’s a completely made-up complaint

Anonymous

#7 16h

individual experiences where someone is being pressured to transition is not a made-up complaint* I don’t think it’s a major issue or trend among all trans women, but it is a big reason why I dislike egg culture as a whole, and I’ve seen other femboys (including ones who later did transition) have similar bad experiences

Anonymous

#7 15h

i'd rather make 100 cis people a bit uncomfortable than let one trans person keep repressing.

Anonymous

#5 14h

the issue isn’t trying to get someone to learn more about transitioning & gender, it’s when someone treats another person like they know less about their own identity simply because they haven’t transitioned. I’m literally trans and was made deeply uncomfortable in my own experience. I’m telling you it was legitimately harmful to my transition.

Anonymous

#7 14h

because transitioning kind of requires a lot of self-knowledge, people who have transitioned usually know themselves better than the average person. there are exceptions and it seems like you are one of them, but i think you're missing the forest for the trees.

Anonymous

#5 14h

saying I must know less about myself because I simply disagree with you is exactly the type of shit I dealt with. trying to justify that shitty behavior while engaging in that same behavior shows you are part of the problem.

Anonymous

#7 14h

"there are exceptions and it seems like you are one of them" - me 15 minutes ago

Anonymous

#5 14h

I said I transitioned, so if I’m the exception then you’re saying I know less about myself than other trans people, no?

Anonymous

#7 13h

i meant it in the other way as in you knew yourself well before transitioning. i'm sorry about the unclear language. maybe i should've used were instead. my bad

Anonymous

#5 13h

ok I’m sorry about taking it personally & misunderstanding, and I take back what I said. I’m still firm on my point that mine and my friends’ complaints were valid, and that it’s gross to pressure others to express themselves in a certain way & to misgender them with she/her to “show them they’re wrong.” idk how many of the posts you saw were valid complaints, but offhandedly dismissing them as transphobic propaganda ignores real experiences.

Anonymous

#7 13h

ok I realize I’m assuming you’re offhandedly dismissing their experiences, and I don’t know if you are. there are people out there who do fearmonger & of course people lie on the internet. however, I’m calling out specific behaviors (e.g. misgendering, fetishizing their hypothetical transition, making a game out of when they’ll “crack,” etc). which is why I mention egg culture. many of those behaviors are tied to egg culture. urging someone to consider transitioning is distinct from this.

Anonymous

#5 13h

also, trust me when I say I’m not against encouraging someone to look into transitioning. I did it for my friend just a couple days ago, and we now have a new gender-fluid person ♥️ the issue is when people mishandle of the situation & disrespect of their own thoughts

Anonymous

#7 13h

yes, some of the weirder aspects of egg culture are separated from just talking to someone about transitioning. however, basically all of what i saw was just complaining about suggesting transition to someone. usually when people (especially cis people) talk about egg culture being bad it's about expressing any suspicion that someone who isn't out as trans is trans.

Anonymous

#5 13h

I think we’ve been in very different spaces which is where the confusion is coming from lol

Anonymous

#7 12h

truly. maybe it's a difference between the trans woman experience and the nonbinary experience