
Ok so that's like... really understandable as a reason to not want to bottom. Obviously that sucks for you, I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, but before you try to open your relationship, think about whether topping in sex is important enough to you to risk your relationship, since trying to open relationships can go badly.
maybe y’all could do intercrural? like fuck his thighs with your strap, so no penetration but also you get to do some fucking. also recommend trying out wearing the strap when you’re bottoming and/or having him do oral on the strap instead of eating you out. psychologically those can be super fulfilling/pleasurable, and depending on the type of strap, stimulating.