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Scared as hell for class again. I’m a well enough passing trans man, however I don’t feel like I pass ENOUGH to use the men’s restroom so I use the women’s. The issue with that is I get constant snide remarks or ugly looks 😭 I’m just here to pee man
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Anonymous 19h

The key is honestly confidence. People aren't usually looking for someone to be in the wrong place. Basically no one will bother you if you go in the men's room and act like you belong there. I have literally never had an issue in a women's bathroom (I'm a trans girl), even when I think I don't pass, even when I'm just wearing a Tshirt and jeans and I have dyed hair and piercings I'm very visibly queer. Trust in your passing ability and wear the confidence like a shield

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Anonymous 11h

i live in a pretty conservative area too and while i generally avoid public restrooms, ive gotten weird looks before too as a 5'2 twinky guy. i dont want to make women uncomfortable so i just deal with it and hope for the best tbh but if youre worried about safety then asking a friend to come with you or be close by is a good idea

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Anonymous replying to -> silvy 19h

It's actually kinda wild how much people don't notice when they aren't looking for it. Also this advice is based on my experience, I've been out for 3 years, genuinely never had an issue, and this includes more protected places like college but also more rural places and road trips through red states, so I rapt can attest that this works pretty well. If you act like you belong there, you most likely won't be questioned

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Anonymous replying to -> silvy 19h

The problem is that I used to be more confident in it and I was still clocked, and threatened, a couple of times. I live in a very conservative area so unfortunately there are people who do look for people “sticking out”, and I just feel as though it’s safer to deal with ugly looks than be outright threatened 😓

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 19h

Ah ok, that's a very different story. In that case my advice is locate any possible accessible bathrooms on campus if you can, as they tend to not be gendered. If it's the same people consistently harassing you, most buildings have multiple bathrooms so use one that's different from your usual. Alternatively you could also wear a hood/hat to keep people from really getting a good look at you in the bathroom. I'm so sorry I don't have better advice.

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