
i have to present feminine when i live at home during the summer. i can relate heavily to feeling confused about whether i'm "really" trans after having to live femininely constantly. but when i think about my future if i stayed a woman, i get a sinking feeling. you don't have to be "certain" about your gender or flip a switch or get a right answer, and no one can hand it to you. for me, i'm transitioning because it's what i want, not because i'm perfectly certain about whether i'm a man.
Kinda but not really. My mom really wanted a daughter and I felt immense guilt when I “took” that away from her. I pushed myself back into being cis, but still just felt off. I started out by just finding things that gave me euphoria, and building on those. (Cut my hair to a bob first and then cut it all, started wearing baggier/masc clothes every once in a while, etc) Eventually, I became comfortable without a gender label, so I began testing out dif pronouns and a few years later I’m a guy