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General 4w
Question of the day: how do u balance not letting ppl walk all over u/be rude to u with allowing yourself to just love people freely even if they hurt u? Pls dm or comment if you’d like to answer. I love hearing people’s thoughts & stories ❤️
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Anonymous 4w

This is gonna sound weird bc its not the “get tougher” thing you probably expect, but for me, its about creating a healthy distance and a sense of emotional differentiation. Essentially, they dont control my emotions and i dont control theirs. We can influence them, but not control them. My family is big into guilt-tripping to get me to do things out of said guilt. Realized this was making me miserable and the guilt followed me everywhere.

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

Im learning to kindly but firmly set a boundary and say “no”. If this upsets them, its not because of anything i did. Im not harming them, nor am i denying them anything they actually are owed. My time is something I CHOOSE to give. This upset them a LOT when i first started doing it, but theyre learning to just say “alright”. Both of us have been more content since, as they dont feel bad that im not obeying, and i dont feel guilty.

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

Basically, being kind and being a pushover are two different things. You can stand up for yourself without being unkind or unpleasant! And you can still love people while maintaining a healthy boundary. To me, its like going to the zoo in a way (stay with me). I can appreciate and interact with the animals, but also be mindful that the barriers are there to keep us from harming each other. It doesnt make either of us bad, it just means we need some distance in order to both be happiest.

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

Also; if someone is rude to you, you dont need to actually feel bad about it. They dont control how you feel. If you can both disagree with them but also not take it personally, you can handle situations a lot more calmly and rationally. If they have a legit concern, reflect and possibly ask someone you trust to see if you were in the wrong and how to improve. If theyre just mad and lashing out, that has little to do with you anyways. If you cant reason with them, disengage.

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