Anonymous #1 9w

false rape accusations can’t ruin a man’s life, actually. unless he’s convicted, which is very rare. an arrest won’t ruin someone’s life or even affect employment, especially if you file for it to be expunged.

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Anonymous #2 9w

Yeah but once that idea or stigma gets into people’s mind about the guy that could destroy his social life and possibly more

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Anonymous #2 9w

Well I guess everyone has their own definition of “ruining a life”. No one wants to befriend a rapist, no one wants to date a rapist, no one wants to hire a rapist, etc etc (and for good reason, of course). But since rape is so hard to prove (as discussed in the video above), many people don’t rely on legal conviction to determine guilt in their eyes. For many, accusations are enough.

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Anonymous #3 9w

if they’re close to the guy then not really? y’all are overblowing this so much oml

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Anonymous #1 9w

he’s not a rapist though? do you think people have to wear a pin that says they were arrested for suspected rape? and I just explained how it’s literally impossible for an arrest to do anything for employment lmao

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Anonymous #1 9w

the employment thing is factually false and you’re responding to a comment TELLING YOU how you’re wrong. do y’all just assume employers kill you on site so you can be the victims? educate yourself on the relevant law instead of blatantly fearmongering.

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Anonymous #3 9w

and in the case of someone’s social life, it doesn’t even matter if they get arrested, so your argument is moot. being arrested on its own does NOTHING to you. I can “ruin your social life” by accusing you w/o going to the police lmao

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Anonymous #2 9w

There’s a video online about a guy in high school who lost all his close friends and was known as a r*pist for the rest of high school because his ex got mad and made up a completely fake story about him, and he didn’t even know for about a year. It quite literally ruined his life and he never got arrested and authorities never got involved, because he was innocent of course, but the rumors still spread like wildfire and permanently tainted his image. It absolutely can happen.

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Anonymous #2 9w

First of all, you didn’t actually explain anything, you just said it wouldn’t affect your employment. Second of all, it absolutely can affect employment. For some famous examples, look up Brian Banks and Shawn Oakman. And where did you get the victim part? I’m not trying to be a victim, no one has accused me of anything. I’m just saying it’s a very real thing that can happen. Doesn’t happen all the time, but dismissing it as ridiculous is inaccurate

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Anonymous #2 9w

Well yes, you could ruin his social life with accusations without even having to go the police. That’s exactly the point, these accusations are so serious that they have effects (as they should). I’d argue that getting arrested does have an effect though, since it would add legitimacy to the accusation

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Anonymous #1 9w

it won’t affect your employment because you can easily expunge it, which I explained. the fact you’re not convicted is enough to expunge, and employers straight up CANNOT KNOW if it’s expunged. if it affects people, they either WERE convicted or DIDN’T file the right paperwork. and is your evidence fr 2 people? 2 people isn’t the widespread societal issue that you’re making it out to be lmao

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Anonymous #3 9w

thanks for proving my point about how an arrest doesn’t affect your social life lmao

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Anonymous #2 9w

Are you actually illiterate? If that much can happen without even an arrest what do you think can happen it word gets out that someone was accused AND arrested?

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Anonymous #1 9w

an arrest where the judge says “this is complete bogus” provides legitimacy to the defendant. just make a file and release it publicly or send it to people who find out. and unless someone is actively harassing you and spreading those lies, people you meet won’t know lmao. most people will see YOU as the victim.

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Anonymous #3 9w

hmmm… what do I think happens when it goes to court and the judge calls bs? I fucking wonder. maybe it’ll give you more proof that you did nothing wrong. calling me illiterate when you’re this dense btw 💀

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Anonymous #2 9w

Calling me dense when you can’t comprehend that rumors and word of mouth spread faster than court records, and once a rumor is established it’s pretty hard to extinguish it. Think mark think

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Anonymous #2 9w

Again, you’re misrepresenting what I said. I never claimed it was a widespread issue, in fact I said the opposite. I’m just saying it is real and can happen. And you were telling me how it “literally” CANNOT affect your employment, so I just gave a couple examples of it literally affecting someone’s employment

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Anonymous #3 9w

where? where are those rumors? think, mark, think! who tf is being told this? your family and close friends? they’ll take the time to look at the info and won’t care. employers? who tf is telling them when they legally can’t know? random people on your campus? talk to the teachers & school authorities if it gets that bad. online? just move your socials. it’s truly not that difficult.

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Anonymous #1 9w

you’re complaining about how I’m misrepresenting you then, in the same sentence, misrepresent what I said. non-convicted people CANNOT have that arrest affect employment if they do the goddamn paperwork. that is THE LAW. holy shit.

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Anonymous #1 9w

How is that comment getting downvoted lmao. I’m not making any large claims and I gave direct examples to prove it CAN happen

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Anonymous #4 9w

An accusation doesn’t always destroy a career (especially if there isn’t much evidence and that career is very large/powerful already), but it certainly has the capability to. As a very recent example, look at Graham Platner stepping down from his nomination. The public has seen no real proof yet this is likely going to change who is a US Senator

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Anonymous #2 9w

If you’re applying to be a teacher, part of the hiring process is answering questions about whether or not you’ve ever been ACCUSED of sexual assault crimes. It doesn’t matter if you walked free, if you were declared innocent or even if that situation never made it to court, you’re still automatically disqualified from ever being considered. So, yes, it can affect employment.

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Anonymous #3 9w

dumbass blocked me and claimed it was me 💀 unblocked to look at my comments bc you’re obsessed lmao

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Anonymous #1 9w

Don’t worry about it. Anything on this community that even vaguely defends men in any regard gets instantly downvoted by the TikTok feminists

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Anonymous #6 9w

ok well considering most rapists never get convicted infact many are never even accused and its a job working with CHILDREN yeah I think it should be like that

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Anonymous OP 9w

So you’re agreeing that a woman can walk into a police station and ruin an innocent man’s life? Lmao

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Anonymous #7 9w

Many women are falsely accused of being liars and that tarnishes their reputation. They also lose friends, opportunities, family, etc. just like reputation lose from false accusations, but we don’t hear about it nearly as much as protecting men before we even give women the chance to go to court & gather evidence. thousands of rape kits sitting. Thousands of reports never investigated. And 1000s of women discouraged from coming forward because people’s priority is to protect men at any cost

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Women falsely accusing men of SA is not a theoretical, you can find many, many examples of it with a simple Google search

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Anonymous #7 9w

I never said it didn’t happen. I’m saying you are bringing up hypothetical scenarios that can happen as evidence for why we should not take SA reports seriously. Because that is the argument, that SA reports are taken to seriously initially and that harms men because false accusations can happen. Otherwise, what would be your goal?

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Anonymous #7 9w

If you want more evidence, well, you have to let these things go to trial—they almost never do. We all want MORE resources for SA investigation. And you all repeatedly argue that we need to discredit women at first, and when you do that, there can’t be a thorough investigation. If someone said “my child is missing” and the police sat on their hands for weeks before acting… because they needed to vet you, well… that puts the investigation in a horrible place. we NEED expediency and seriousness

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Anonymous #5 9w

Women being falsely accused of being liars doesn’t completely blacklist them from certain professions. You’re also completely delusional if you think that a woman being accused of being a liar has anywhere near the social ramifications of a man being accused of SA. Men also get falsely accused of being liars too, so I’m not sure what your argument is even trying to accomplish.

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When did I say that I didn’t think we should take reports more seriously? YOU ALSO DON’T NEED TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS, I CAN READ JUST FINE.

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Holy strawman, I literally didn’t say a single one of those things. You’re fighting ghosts lmao

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Anonymous #7 9w

If think women who report should be believed and taken seriously, then you should just say that. You should work with SA survivors instead of constantly trying to discredit all women who come forward in hopes it will somehow help men.

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Anonymous #5 9w

I think women’s claims need to be taken seriously and thoroughly investigated, not immediately believed. If their claims are just believed, then you’ve switched from innocent until proven guilty into guilty until proven innocent.

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We don’t immediately believe anyone in the justice system, that’s kind of the whole point of having a justice system lmao. Believing that a woman’s claim should be taken seriously and investigated and immediately believing the accusation itself are two different things.

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Anonymous #7 9w

I’m a law student, and there are different burdens of proof. It doesn’t start out beyond a reasonable doubt. You don’t need to prove your case beyond a reasonable doubt to be believed. To be given a chance. That doesn’t make the other person guilty just because you believe someone has a case against them. And repeatedly telling women “you have no case” “you have no evidence” “you weren’t the perfect victim” and we don’t believe you, we never get to investigate. We never give them a chance.

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Anonymous #5 9w

Believe women is about cops actually investigating reports, actually listening to women, and not discrediting victim’s reputations due to what they were wearing, who they accused, etc. It’s not saying you need to take a side. It is talking about the legal burdens it currently takes for an SA victim to be heard by authorities.

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Anonymous #7 9w

Because it really is about the frequency of SA reports being ignored. Yes, false accusations happen, but believe women is about law enforcement authorities finally believing women when they say a sexual assault occurred, so that those claims can be taken seriously because it IS a problem. And it hurts us all for so many reasons. It’s never saying don’t give the accused a fair trial. Or don’t believe the accused. I feel context is so important.

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Anonymous #5 9w

Did you read what I said? Believing someone’s accusation needs to be investigated and believing the actual accusation itself isn’t the same thing. Every accusation should be thoroughly investigated, that doesn’t mean that every person making an accusation needs to be believed immediately.

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Anonymous #7 9w

To take something seriously, you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen. You need to believe it happened. Law enforcement’s job is to believe a crime happened, gather their evidence, and charge the accused. The defense will then do everything in their power to obtain evidence to defend their client. That is the adversarial system. Prosecutors and law enforcement officers are ALWAYS working for victims. But when we discredit women before they even get a chance to tell their story, the people who are

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Anonymous #7 9w

supposed to work for them, instead, don’t choose to investigate. They don’t choose to listen. They don’t choose to move forward because they don’t have to. SA isn’t as obvious as someone burning your house down. When we say to listen to women, it’s about giving women a chance to prove their case. The defendants will always have the chance to.

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Anonymous #7 9w

And you don’t need to say “Did you read what I said?” I did. But I’m trying to show you the bigger picture here about what you are advocating for (even MORE scrutiny being given to SA victims) does not help justice.

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Anonymous #5 9w

It absolutely isn’t law enforcement’s job to immediately believe a crime happened, it’s their job to investigate the claim. Let’s say I claim that you shot at me, do you think law enforcement should rush to your house, kick the door down, and drag you out of bed at gunpoint down because of my accusation?

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Anonymous #7 9w

If someone walks in the door and says “my kid is missing” what does a cop do? They go look for the kid. What if the mom is lying? Is not on the radar. She could be. If I call 911 do people come to my location? Even if I’m lying? Yes they do. If you called 911 and said “this person shot at me” they ABSOLUTELY would be at my door with guns aimed because according to you I am armed and dangerous. Their job is to take crime seriously.

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Anonymous #7 9w

All SA victims want is for cops to take them seriously and stop discrediting them off the bat. Like they would any other crime victim. The scrutiny can arrive later, after an investigation. But most of these cases are never investigated. Because people like you demand a level of perfection from victims that is nearly impossible. Women go to the hospital immediately & still aren’t believed. And you want MORE barriers to entry. That is the problem.

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Anonymous #7 9w

clearly, you don’t like the semantics of “believe all women” but i don’t think you should support even more scrutiny being applied to people who just endured violent crime. who already aren’t taken seriously. that’s it that’s all. i think we’re all on the same team & i hope my perspective helped someone. goodnight y’all

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Anonymous #7 9w

i never said that a woman couldnt ruin a mans life with accusations hypothetically but its extremely rare in fact where other than jobs working with children (where it absolutely should be) would you see this? anyways the point of the vid is that the popular rhetoric of women ruining mens lives is just extremely ironic bc it is often times the men ruining the womens lives not the other way around

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Anonymous #8 9w

Rapists are scum, and deserve whatever karma they have coming to them. But that doesn’t mean that every guy has the get out of jail free card that comes with knowing the right people or having the money to hire the right lawyers. Still an incredible number of normal folks who don’t have the same privilege to be innocent until proven guilty the moment they step into a courtroom. Pretty sure this is what to kill a mockingbird was about in part.

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Anonymous #9 9w

oh definitely, this situation was just that nobody cared that he may have done it 😀

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Anonymous #8 9w

And that’s fucked, and if nobody’s said it, I’m sorry. It takes an incredible amount of courage to make a report (as you may have guessed I hate going to the police with a fiery passion), but end of the day everybody deserves to be judged by the same rules and held to the same standards. The fact that some folks are just “above the law” based on their status in society is stomach churning.

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Anonymous #9 9w

absolutely 🙏🏻 and thank you

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Anonymous #10 9w

You’d be dumb to think an accusation this serious cannot ruin a person’s life.

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Anonymous #5 9w

You’re a law student, and they haven’t taught you “innocent until proven guilty” yet?

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Anonymous #6 9w

Believe it or not “innocent until proven guilty” and “law enforcement needs to take SA reports seriously” are not contradictory.

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Anonymous #6 9w

I’m also not someone who’s saying false accusations can’t affect someone’s life. I’m saying advocating for violent crime victims to be charged with an incredibly high burden of proof is not consistent with our judicial philosophy. We weed out cases through investigation. Not based on a first impression about whether a woman can be trusted.

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Anonymous #6 9w

You all act like crime reporting is a zero sum game, where if we take one person seriously, we can’t take the other person’s side seriously. It’s exhausting you want to take more resources away from SA victims, and make it harder for their cases to be investigated, because you think trusting an SA victim enough to move forward with a case means the accused is automatically “guilty.”

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Anonymous #5 9w

I’ll be honest I haven’t read the whole argument yall have been having, but I totally agree with your last two messages. Accusations should be taken seriously and thoroughly investigated. Not sure why that’s controversial

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Anonymous #1 9w

I’m glad you listened. I genuinely believe men & women both benefit from SA accusations being taken seriously. That results in more evidence being obtained, more thorough trials, etc. My perspective is that we need to start giving women some grace to speak about what happened to them, and actually listen with an open mind, in order for that to happen. I want innocent to be proven innocent, and guilty to be proven guilty. Instead of cases getting dropped at the door.

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Anonymous #5 9w

(And this is really accused vs accuser not man v. woman, I understand men can be victims and vice versa), in fact, I think male victims have an especially uphill battle to be believed.

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Anonymous #5 9w

Agreed. As a law student, how do you think we can make a meaningful improvement to this situation? Even if a rape kit can confirm sex happened, it’s such a tough situation to PROVE it was rape and not consensual sex

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Anonymous #1 9w

It’s not controversial that accusations should be investigated. Everybody agrees with that. What was controversial in this thread was that somebody said that false accusations are not likely to ruin a man’s life or affect his employment.

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Anonymous #1 9w

I’m definitely not an expert. I’m not an investigator, or a police officer in any capacity. But I think taking detailed witness statements early on from as many people as possible is very important. That’s why a lot of us stress the importance of SA victims coming forward as soon as possible and being vulnerable enough to tell their story, even though that is incredibly difficult. But it is hard to prove, and there’s no easy fix to that when we’re talking about what two peoples’ mental state was

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