Hatred or prejudice towards women. The idea that the man always has to “take charge” and be the one making plans is rooted in the patriarchy. The assumption is that a woman can’t or shouldn’t do that. That she should just do what she’s told. To me it looked like he was initiating making plans TOGETHER, instead of just making them without her input and expecting her to say yes to whatever he says.

72

If your trying to argue against “both sides should use the same standard” then you’ve already lost from a feminist standpoint

-10

“Theres no use in arguing …” implies you have one but don’t want to use it. Genuinely just talking to talk😭

-9

We both know you have a opinion and are commenting for a reason. If truly didn’t care you wouldn’t comment. You disagree with me so you try to spell correct to make yourself feel superior. This is to place is to discuss the topic. If your purpose is to show you aren’t able to have a logical conversation with a woman then you’re reenforcing the stereotype that you can’t have a logical discussion with women.

-6

Anonymous #9 11w

God forbid they ask when you’re free

-4

Anonymous #16 11w

No it’s not if you asked that person out why are you making it on them to plan to hangout with you. You could have easily left them alone. A person who actually gives a shit about the person they’re asking out will plan something bc it’s literally not that hard

7

Anonymous #15 11w

My friends plan shit all the time if THEY’RE the ones initiating hangouts. If you can plan time with your boys you can plan a date

6

Anonymous #15 11w

Counter point don’t be a dense asshole and give a some dates that you’re free. “You could have easily left them alone” um they were clearly talking to each other in a way that was headed towards potential dating. Are you that daft to think they randomly asked to meet someone when there was no mutual interest at first. Women aren’t infants you dolt

0

Anonymous #15 11w

Some people work, they can’t just ask their friends to randomly hangout

-1

Anonymous #16 11w

If you want dates of when she’s free then ask that dumbass. Not “when are we going to meet”. That’s not for THEM to decide. That’s for YOU to decide as you’re the one wanting their attention and time. And even if they aren’t free they’ll TELL you after you plan it. “Hey wanna grab coffee Saturday morning?”. “Sorry I can’t how about Friday afternoon instead”. See how simple shit goes when you actually had an idea in mind?

2

Anonymous #16 11w

Yeah and all my friends know that yet STILL plan shit bc it’s called “PLANNING IN ADVANCE”. You can easily plan a date for the week after so she has time to look into her schedule ahead, make time off work if need be etc. instead you want all the work to be on her when she’s not the one that’s interested. She’s there bc she gave you her time and she’s allowing you entrance into her life and you’re wasting it

1

Anonymous #15 11w

“She’s not the one who’s interested” then why was she talking and replying to him in the first places

2

Anonymous #16 11w

Bc you’re interested and she’s trying to get to know you dumbass. Would you rather not talk to the person you’re trying to fucking meet up with? You make 0 fucking sense

2

Anonymous #15 11w

“Oh yeah she has to plan the date but why is she talking to me if she’s not going to be interested”. Have you ever TALKED to a woman before bc my god. Do you think ppl only talk on their dates and nothing else? 😐💀

3

Anonymous #15 11w

They were both interested dumbass. But no leave everything to the man ig, but if it’s gonna be that way don’t ever complain about how he does or plans things since clearly yall love to only be empowered when it’s convenient

0

Anonymous #16 11w

You initiated and asked HER out. The date is not her responsibility. You can talk to the person to more them before meeting but if you initiated it you plan it. “Not everyone plans stuff with friends they work”. Has to be the most brain dead, obtuse, and ignorant excuse ever. So since you don’t plan shit with friends you can’t plan shit AT ALL? Do you hangout with yourself and your thoughts every single day?

0

Anonymous #16 11w

How are dates empowering…it’s a date for crying out loud 😐

0

Anonymous #15 11w

I said “randomly” you can’t even read. Your whole point as been he never asked her out but now you’re saying he did but just didn’t plan it?

0

Anonymous #16 11w

Who said it had to be random? Planning isn’t random. What other excuses do you have

-1

Anonymous #15 11w

None of you have reading comprehension or critical thinking skills, god forbid I ever meet other humans like yall

1

Anonymous #15 11w

It would’ve been so easy for her to say what dates she’s available and then he could’ve made a plan or she just could’ve not posted it online to whine. Where does it get her?

2

Anonymous #16 11w

I never said that if you can read. A man who’s mature is gonna plan a date with the person they asked out. Planning dates is not that hard. If you can’t plan a simple date I’m just gonna assume you didn’t actually care. Bc you lack effort and intention. So if you can’t plan hangouts to any capacity bc of “work” how do you plan your doctor’s appointments, dentist appointments, hair cuts etc bc work can get in the way of those yet you still do it.

3

Anonymous #16 11w

I think that’s you dude you’re projecting real hard about how you’re incapable of planning dates. You must have never planned shit in your life before if you have every excuse imaginable to not take initiative in anything you do. No one’s about to mommy you about things and do shit for you

1

Anonymous #15 11w

We’re adults. Plan it. Be intentional. Or shut the fuck up

0

Anonymous #15 11w

So no women has ever cared is what you’re saying because they don’t plan dates with men. Again did you miss the word randomly? Use some critical thinking skills, I can’t just call up a friend and ask if they wanna hangout tomorrow. I have to ask when they’re free

0

Anonymous #15 11w

Talking about some “we’re adults” when OP had a childish response and ran to the internet about it. Y’all a clearly not adults

2

Anonymous #15 11w

Yet women expect men to daddy them lmao

1

Anonymous #16 11w

I’ve made plans before all the time when I’M the one initiating. I meet so many men that place everything on women regardless of what event it is. They’re planning the dates, the celebrations, the weddings, etc. and you can’t plan a simple thing that takes 5 mins to come up with. But “women are upholding the patriarchy”. As if women haven’t been the sole planners of things for decades

4

Anonymous #15 11w

Nah it’s just like I said the reason yall plan that shit is cause you’re gonna get pissy when the man doesn’t plan it exactly how you dream it as if he was supposed to read your mind

2

Anonymous #16 11w

I don’t expect a man who can’t plan his own doctor appointment to daddy me. I don’t even expect my own dad to do anything for me. Women have been taught to do so much shit on our own and men just uphold it bc they think bc they have a woman’s attention she’ll stay. She plans the dates bc all they have to do is get her attention and she’s immediately sold. Like no. Grow up and do something with yourself that’s not how love works

-2

Anonymous #16 11w

Yeah exactly. We’re planning it bc a grown ass man couldn’t do it. You’re okay with it bc you know you don’t have to do anything but show up. You wait on women to do everything for you. A mature man is gonna plan it. Just say you’re a little boy without an ounce of thoughtfulness in his body

-1

Anonymous #15 11w

More grown than you

2

Anonymous #16 11w

I plan events sweetie. Something you can’t do. So who’s really grown here

-2

Anonymous #15 11w

I plan events too, you don’t know me

2

Anonymous #16 11w

Sure you do bud you wouldn’t argue about it if you did

-2

Anonymous #15 11w

And then place it on daddy issues. Real mature of you

-2

Anonymous #15 11w

That’s not what I’ve been arguing

2

Anonymous #15 11w

You placed it on mommy issues dumbass I just threw it back at you

2

Anonymous #16 11w

You argued the patriarchy. That’s not the issue here nor is it even relevant. We all know what you were arguing. And it was dumb asf

-2

Anonymous #16 11w

You can’t throw something back when it doesn’t fit the narrative lol

-1

Anonymous #15 11w

You can’t claim mommy issues and then get mad when someone points out daddy issues

1

Anonymous #15 11w

Also typically men are the ones planning shit, it’s the expectation and you know it damn well and that’s why OP came here to whine when one didn’t. So no you cant claim women plan most shit

1

Anonymous #16 11w

No one’s claiming mommy issues. I said you’re an immature little boy that has women do everything for you. If that’s mommy issues to you you need to work on that. You don’t even plan shit with friends you’re the type of guy that has everyone doing stuff for you. Like a little fucking leech. I’d NEVER do ppl like that idc what dynamic we’re in. I’m not letting my friends plan every little thing bc “ppl work”. It’s called messaging ideas and seeing where it goes not asking “when am I gonna meet”

-1

Anonymous #16 11w

Facts they gotta read my mind type shit, if they don’t know telepathy then they simply AINT THE ONE!! 🙄.

4

Anonymous #15 11w

That’s piggybacking off other ppl so they can do the work for you so you don’t think as hard. All my friends either work or they’re in grad school and I still will make time for them idc if it has to be a random Saturday in the middle of October. We’re planning something

-1

Anonymous #16 11w

Bc they’re the ones that asked. Sorry to burst your lazy piece of shit bubble. Your friends also deserve better I’d drop you as a friend after knowing you use work as an excuse to not plan things with us

-1

Comment Deleted

0

Anonymous #8 11w

I could never be a man because I’m always asking.😭 ofc it’s nice to take initiative but even now as a girl, I still ask certain questions to get a feel of what that person may wanna do rather than setting something up & they end up not liking it or it doesn’t work. And it seems like…they barely know each other. So maybe he genuinely doesn’t know. Idk, I didn’t perceive it as negative but then again, we don’t know what their previous conversations were like so…

6

Anonymous #22 11w

IMO, OP had the right to feel disrespected, but I, PERSONALLY, would have not sent that message in response. Idk OP or their relationship to this person, so it’s not my place to play moral Olympics on their wording.

30

This is not really fine, btw 💀 women who have made no effort to unlearn misogynistic gender roles should not act like holding themselves in traditional gender roles is some uplifting bullshit when they have no idea what life is like any other way

15

Anonymous #8 11w

I just feel like you can’t hate a patriarchal system and then perpetuate patriarchal rhetoric and expectations. Whether it benefits you or not. Women say “but who made the system” and then continue to preserve it in so many ways. None of it makes sense.

7

Anonymous #34 11w

Yeah their hypocritical but will do everything to not admit it but it slips up constantly. It’s very obvious the women in the replies are irritated people are pointing it out which makes it hard to take them seriously.

1

Anonymous #8 11w

It’s hard to engage in nuanced conversations with people who don’t know when to use the proper their/there/they’re 😭😭😭

2

Anonymous #17 11w

You know thats just proving my point right? It’s literally OBJECTIVELY proving my point. But Its impossible to be objective with women.

-6

Anonymous #36 11w

it genuinely sounds like OP is complaining that a prospective partner isn’t willing to take shit from someone they’re supposed to love and trust. this is why people say the cishets aren’t ok 😭

7

Comment Deleted

0

I’d recommend reading this article instead of throwing around a commonly-weaponized statistic, since weaponizing homophobia and the patriarchy is how abusers get away with shit in our community 👍 all you’ve proven here is that I should be MORE pissed at OP for weaponizing gender roles. https://www.hrc.org/resources/understanding-intimate-partner-violence-in-the-lgbtq-community

10

Comment Deleted

0

You: throws out a statistic without knowing its context Me: “You should know the context on why that happens instead of throwing out statistics” You: misses the entire point and throws out the same statistic without knowing its context I’m sorry but are you being intentionally dense?

7

I’m not a lesbian btw, you just want me to be so you have an excuse for homophobia 👍

7