Anonymous #2 3w

Yes and no. Being autistic does not mean that the person is not capable of learning the task; it just means that they learn how to do it differently

6

Anonymous #1 3w

Exactly. Help the person by showing them. If they seem to not understand, try to find a different way to help them accomplish the task

12

Anonymous #3 3w

my other roommate and i have tried multiple times since august to help her and nothing has stuck. many of my friends and family members are autistic and this is different.

17

Anonymous #2 3w

its an explanation, not an excuse for continued behavior after being showed what to do. many things she does make me think her family did most stuff for her before she moved to college. i feel a little bad for her, honestly

12

Anonymous OP 3w

Dm what’s the situation and what you’ve done so far

7

Anonymous #1 3w

no thank you. ive worked with many autistic children and adults and none of the these issues are big enough to warrant that much effort. i genuinely appreciate your willingness to help us, but i really just came on here to rant. if things get worse somehow, i will find a way to mediate it properly

1

Anonymous OP 3w

That’s understandable

5

Anonymous #4 2w

i dont think you do?? this is a nationwide group and im also on the spectrum so i know what its like. im not hating on her for being autistic, my guy

2

Anonymous #5 2w

yeah as i said, im autistic, i agree. this isnt executive dysfunction. she refuses to learn how to live with other people. my other roommate and i have been very patient with her for months now

1

Anonymous #4 2w

so if you used common sense and context they ended their post with "it makes the rest of us look bad", meaning they too are on the spectrum.

1

Anonymous #4 2w

there's a huge difference between someone having executive function and them just saying "i'm autistic" when addressed w issues. i am also autistic and i don't expect people to just be okay w shit bc i am autistic. its an explanation, not an excuse.

1

Anonymous OP 2w

How do you know that it’s not like that. It may seem like that but you don’t know what’s she is going through her mind.

1

Anonymous #5 2w

even if its caused by facets of autism, im not responsible for teaching her these things. despite that, ive gone out of my way to make things easier for her and thats far beyond what i should be doing. ive had very few issues with autistic roommates in the past and we were able to resolve them with fair compromise.

1

Anonymous #6 2w

i agree, we process things very differently. i’m studying the neurodiversity paradigm and child developmental psychology and have worked in education for two years. i grew up in an autistic household. i do in fact know that we’re different, that doesn’t discount that i also know this issue isn’t caused by neurodivergence. i want to help her, i am also allowed to be frustrated

1

Anonymous #7 2w

thank you for saying this. im trying my best to create a solution where everyone is placated and our apartment is clean. it frustrates me that people dont understand im not being dismissive of her. shes a perfectly lovely roommate with everything else

1

Anonymous #8 2w

Did you ask them directly why they haven’t? It seems like there’s not really communication and for you to say you worked with adults and kids on the spectrum doesn’t mean anything for you to judge another, everyone is different hence the word spectrum. Thats sounds lowkey like logical fallacy …

1

Anonymous OP 2w

I didn’t say you had to teach her the problem isn’t that she doesn’t know how to do it cuz she def knows how to perform a task the problem is initiating basically its hard to get motivated. So teaching her doesn’t do anything it does not help her situation at all.

1

Anonymous OP 2w

I think name calling (incompetent) and saying they “make the rest of us look bad” isn’t help. I am allowed my opinion, and public shame, isn’t help. Especially from someone with so much “experience”.

1

Anonymous #6 2w

you’re right, i should have worded it better. i was angry and in a shitty mood at the time so i posted to rant about it. i will say, its hypocritical of you to put “experience” in quotes while shaming me for my post. theres no need to be rude, i am accepting of the criticism and want to better myself

0

Anonymous #8 2w

our living situation means we have shared spaces but never see each other. she wont answer messages on any platform and the roommate she shares a room with hasnt had any luck talking to her about it. any time ive actually spoken to her, she brings up being autistic but doesnt ever say what she struggles with or needs help with. we cant help if she wont talk to us

1

Anonymous #5 2w

i would understand if that was the issue but its not. she routinely refuses to learn things or does the bare minimum. the roommate she shares a room with has told her and shown her multiple times how to remove the tp holder but she continues to ignore it or just set the roll on top

1