Anonymous #2 1w

She made it her business when she started talking about it. If you don’t want someone’s advice don’t present yourself in a way that you do.

187

Okay I just can’t agree with you here. I would feel like such a bad friend if I didn’t speak up when my friend is being mistreated. I respect her too much to not tell her to leave this man like what. Would you not do the same for your friends??

81

Anonymous #4 1w

Well it’s kinda the whole goal yk

29

Anonymous #5 1w

I’d like to think you’re with someone cause you love them not what they can do for you

31

Anonymous #4 1w

But like she’s not getting pleasure from the sex and he doesn’t care? Like yes that matters that is so fucked up to me

23

Anonymous #4 1w

Like I feel like she’s being treated like a sex toy and he thinks that’s normal to not think abt ur gfs pleasure and not care if they don’t enjoy it

15

Anonymous #1 1w

Like I feel like it’s such a red flag that he doesn’t even care that it’s not good for her like what that’s so creepy to me 😭

63

I mean I do know how she feels she’s my friend and we talked about it. And I think expecting sex from someone but not caring if they enjoy is a huge red flag that shows a deep lack of respect and care for them. Like how is that not mistreatment yall raise your standards what 😭

52

Anonymous OP 1w

i mean that’s def true but maybe he does care about her pleasure and just doesn’t know how to get her all the way there? i have an interesting perspective on this bc im a man who takes forever to finish (sometimes more than 30 minutes up to an hour, even solo), so even though my girl usually finishes a few times and sometimes i don’t at all, it doesn’t mean something is wrong or I’m dissatisfied with her or she doesn’t care or whatever

12

Anonymous OP 1w

I agree with you but don’t be surprised that she’s upset when you throw out unsolicited opinions

-18

Anonymous #6 1w

That’s totally fair but like we talked about it so Ik this is not her situation. When they first got together she would fake it and now she doesn’t fake it at all and he doesn’t care. Like it’s not like she’s just hard to make cum or they’ve talked about it and decided this works for them. He just ends sex when he finishes and that’s that. If he like was trying and couldn’t that would be a very diff situation but atp I’m like this man does not care abt u and is creepy

16

Anonymous #2 1w

If she’s offended by someone who obviously cares about her giving and honest and seemingly appropriate opinion then she isn’t ready for friendship, let alone a relationship.

31

Anonymous #2 1w

You must be the type to get mad ppl tell you to leave your partner after you posted your partners bad behavior towards you

33

Anonymous #6 1w

Its also not his job to chase his own pleasure and completely disregard his partner's.

5

Anonymous OP 1w

Mistreated is insane bro jus can’t make her nut maybe he just need to try a different way but he’s not beating her. He still makes her feel nice and loved obviously

-12

Anonymous #8 1w

“Not beating her” as if that’s how low the bar has to be to leave someone. It’s not just that he doesn’t make her cum, he doesn’t even acknowledge her as a person who deserves pleasure. If that seems small to you, you value people very little.

29

Anonymous #8 1w

I’m not saying he’s abusing her but like yes he’s def mistreated her what ?? Not caring if ur gf enjoys sex is weirddddd like u can’t convince me otherwise

30

Anonymous OP 1w

I will agree it is weird I could never jus bit let my girl nut but that’s on your roommate she Disney really care about cumming as much as you or I do. So fr it’s none of our business as long as he’s treating her well

0

Anonymous #9 1w

I’m sorry maybe I’m just gonna have to be the villain here but like if my friend tells me a big ass red flag abt their partner im gonna tell them to leave like that’s part of being a friend to me. I am glad my friends have spoken up in the past when I’ve let some crazy shit slide. Like obvi I can’t control if she does or not and that’s fine but I think to not tell her would be wrong.

16

Anonymous OP 1w

I can understand that feeling. Does he care about her in other ways? Dates? Showing appreciation? Does her family like him?

1

Anonymous #8 1w

But clearly he’s not treating her well so that’s kinda out the window 😭And like she obviously she wishes he made her cum and cares about enjoying sex just like anyone else she just doesn’t want to leave him over it and I think she should. Like I can’t make her leave but like bro is a bum and as a friend I think she deserves way better

6

Anonymous OP 1w

You don’t know their relationship… mind your own business

-10

Anonymous #9 1w

In my view he’s a bum all around, but also I’m a lesbian and the standards seem to be very different so idk. My straight friends seem to think he’s like average ? But to me this is just such a major red flag that reflects such a lack of respect for her

8

Anonymous #2 1w

But like what could he do to make up for this ? Is she just supposed to never cum again but he gets to and doesn’t care and that’s just all good and chill 😭😭 like I think straight ppl need help this is not normal

9

Anonymous OP 1w

I would just focus on being a good friend to her and asking what she wants and empowering her rather than shaming her for dating a bum. I dated this guy who wasn’t the best and my friends told me to end it and I felt like I couldn’t talk to them about anything without being shamed for dating him when I loved him

7

Anonymous OP 1w

Just be careful you don’t push her away in the process of being a good friend

8

Anonymous #9 1w

I mean like I won’t bring it up and talk about it if she doesn’t want to but like I’m not gonna pretend to like him and I will tell her to leave if she brings it up bc she deserves better. Like I respect her too much not to she deserves so much better. I feel like part of being a girl is making sure ur friends don’t end up with bums. My friends have def dragged some of the ppl I’ve been with to filth and they were right to! Sometimes u need ur girls to be blunt and give some perspective

1

Anonymous OP 1w

Very true, sometimes you do need blunt honesty yes but I think it’s more important to make it clear you don’t like him and explain why, but also be able to respect him and the good things he does. Tell her she deserves better, and empower her to come to that decision on her own. She doesn’t deserve to be stuck in a situation where her friends hate her boyfriend but she loves him and doesn’t want to pick one

9

Anonymous #9 1w

Like I’m not trying to make her pick I will obviously still be friends with her if she stays with him but I do not and will not respect this man. Like how could I respect someone who mistreats my friend? That is not being a good friend to me

1

Anonymous OP 1w

You are not being a friend when telling someone else what to do with their relationship.

8

Anonymous #10 1w

This is the blunt honesty I don’t think op is ready for tbh

7

Anonymous #10 1w

But obviously can’t tell her what to do / make her do it. She’s a grown woman. But I am gonna tell her when her man is being a bum and treating her like shit like I’m sorry but this man is not normal and if yall would keep ur mouths shut then we’re just gonna have to agree to disagree idk what to tell u like I respect her more than I respect the relationship. She deserves a normal bf and sex life at the end of the day

1

Anonymous OP 1w

We all agree with the statement that your friend deserves the best. I guess the question I’ve asked that was never answered was is he a good guy outside of sex life? Like thoughtful dates, showing up for her, listening to her, does her family like him?

1

Anonymous #9 1w

No I don’t think so. She plans most of the stuff they do and doesn’t rlly go out of his way for her unless she asks. But to me like I don’t understand what he could do to make up for the fact that he treats her so bad sexually. Like what could possibly cancel that out? he genuinely is using her to get off and doesn’t care abt her experience like that’s so creepy and not normal, who acts like what with their gf?

1

Anonymous OP 1w

Like he treats her like a sex toy idc if he plans a date after

1

Anonymous OP 1w

oof yeah definitely not my situation lol sorry for projecting so hard, he’s a bum fs

7

Anonymous OP 1w

Tell her to communicate to him. If she hasn't spoken up, you can't put all the blame on the guy.

6

Anonymous #4 1w

it really is that big of a deal tho. my ex didn’t care enough to make me and being unsatisfied/not cumming wasn’t what hurt me from that experience, it was feeling used and dirty. i hated having sex bc it was so one sided it made me feel like a sex doll or something and it effects me in my current relationship still two years later

10

Anonymous #4 1w

so yeah having a partner who puts effort into sex actually does matter a lot

13

Anonymous OP 1w

i think more of the point is that saying it once or twice so that your friend knows your stance is so valid and is being a good friend, but saying that every time that your friend brings it up is overkill and may ultimately make her feel as though she can’t talk to you. obviously so valid to express to your friend that she deserves better when this is brought up, but also make it clear that you respect whatever decision they make and you’re there for them for whatever they choose

9

Anonymous #14 1w

personally i’ve stopped opening up to friends who are openly disrespectful about the guy i’m dating bc that’s not what you want to hear when you love someone, but my friends who have let me talk through problems without judgement have helped me come to the conclusion on my own to not be w someone/what conversation needs to had to determine if we should stay together because they remind me of my worth while still making it clear that they trust my judgement and will support me no matter what

4

Anonymous #12 1w

This💯 As someone who can’t even get herself to cum but is with a man who tries his best to as tired as he gets to make me finish; it sure as hell does matter. It’s the effort that counts always

10

Sex is strictly for reproduction? This is an insane comment lmao

10

Anonymous #9 1w

well pregnancy is a natural outcome of it

-4

Anonymous #16 1w

Rage bait 0/10

22

Anonymous #8 1w

“not beating her” isn’t the threshold for a good relationship dude 😭😭😭 how low are your standards

6