Anonymous amethyst_popping_bottles 6d

she said it was a histamine allergy, so i couldn’t use fake scents. i have tons of candles, plug ins, waxes, diffusers etc that i could no longer use bc of this. told her at the time i wasn’t interested in buying more just to avoid bothering her bc id spent a good bit on the stuff i already had, so i just kept my stuff in my room. after almost a year of living together, i got a diffuser for the living room and specifically went with essential oils because she had mentioned that would be okay.

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Anonymous OP 6d

she got home and immediately told me to turn the “incense” off because it was giving her a headache. told her it was only water and essential oils, which i chose for her. she said she had assumed they would be okay, but they weren’t, and thanks for considering. now i’m just irritated i spent almost $30 on the oils and diffuser and once again have to keep it to my own room

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Anonymous OP 6d

Ok after some brief research on histamine allergies I’m getting the feeling she straight up lied about being able to handle essential oils. While not considered a real allergy histamine allergies are triggered by ANY strong scent, fake or natural. Maybe she thought she could because she could be in a bigger room with a diffuser in it she would’ve known full well it wasn’t just fake scents.

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Anonymous #2 6d

Yeah my only problem is how she said essential oils were fine then switched up after OP spent money on they thought was safe. That’s super frustrating

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Anonymous amethyst_popping_bottles 6d

yeah that is pretty frustrating. I wonder if maybe the diffuser is the issue though? like if essential oils have previously been fine in the past but the diffuser just amplified it too much but also sometimes allergies just worsen unexpectedly. like I have someone at my job who's allergic to citrus and recently had an allergy attack because our essential oil diffuser. which she had previously said didn't bother her

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Anonymous #2 6d

this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the problems ive had with her. she’s constantly complaining about smells that i can’t smell, like the trash, dishwasher, fridge, freezer, etc. i like the apartment to smell nice, as it had the entire year before she moved in, but she’s making it seem like that’s not an option, AFTER i went and spent the money on it. i’m going to continue using it when she’s not home i don’t care. it’s as far from her room as possible, right outside mine,

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Anonymous OP 6d

which i did intentionally so she wouldn’t have to smell it in her room if she didn’t like it. the problem is that our kitchen bar is a couple feet outside my door, and she likes to sit there for 1-2 hours a night on the phone rather than in her room. So im sure if you’re sitting on top of it breathing it in for 2 hours straight, it would be a little much. i’m also irritated that she didn’t offer me any compromise whatsoever, just a “get rid of it” and when i said i picked that specifically for

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Anonymous OP 6d

her and specifically for the living room (i have plenty of stuff for my own room because im not allowed to use it in the living room), she said “oh” and that was the end of the conversation

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Anonymous OP 6d

Yeah it does seem like she’s weaponizing her allergy to a degree with the way she’s telling you to get rid of stuff you paid for. If she’s the only one smelling something in the fridge/dishwasher/trash, then she should be the one to fix it instead of complaining to you about it. Her main problem is she seems to lack the ability to compromise.

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Anonymous amethyst_popping_bottles 6d

what is a good compromise here? i was considering offering to a try a different scent (since i bought a whole kit of essential oils) or to just turn it off when she’s home, but it sounds like she’s going to have a problem with it no matter what. it feels unfair to just submit to her rules. tempted to ask her to pay me back for it but at the end of the day it was my choice to buy it.. idk. i’m just really frustrated. i luckily my lease ends in a couple months.

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Anonymous OP 6d

The way I see it, you need to present the ultimatum that she either needs to lay out specifically what she can and cannot handle to you instead of making you guess or she needs to deal with the fact that you are occasionally gonna use light scents when she’s not home. I’m all for accommodating allergies but she needs to actually communicate the problem instead of implementing a total ban without any real explanation.

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