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Relationship Advice 4w
anyone have experience with long distance (like 8-14 hour drives)? is it doable if i really like this person?
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22
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Anonymous 4w

me and my bf have been together for a little over a year now and he lives across the country from me it takes like an 8 hour plane to get there and we make it work. distance means nothing if the person means everything. it can be rly hard but if you both think and want it to work then it will. and tbh it’s nice to have some distance bc you get ur own space and when you see eachother again after a while it’s like the honeymoon stage of a relationship all over again

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous 4w

Sorry #1 that that happened to you. But that’s on that person. As op said if they did it then they would have done it at any distance. They just had it easier. But again that’s on the individual and I’m sorry you were their victim.

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous 4w

While the relationship is over now (ended during short distance) my ex and I were long distance 8 hours apart at different schools but lived in the same city. We were long distance for about 4 months and it was perfect. We communicated well and frequently which is important because we both put effort in. We saw each other once a month and I even went on spring break together. Point is, even though we’re broken up now long distance can work very well if u both put in effort

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Anonymous 4w

Tried it and became what scientists determined to be "the most cheated-on person of all time"

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

sorry that happened to you but that’s always a risk? like if someone is willing to do that they could do it at any distance if you don’t see them for a bit

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

yeah no question. the long distance just made it easier for them to do at the incredible magnitude they did

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

it's okay, I'm not taking it as a personal attack or anything, just letting OP know that when I think of long distance from that far away, in my personal experience it means you have to REALLY trust the other person because they basically have complete impunity to do whatever they want and you will never, ever find out unless they really fuck up

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

Oh no I didn’t mean it like you were being attacked. My bad. But yea no I get you and the thought process for sure. And you are right, it is easier to do bullshit long distance.

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

i’m a pretty independent person and wouldn’t ask a partner to share their location etc. so i think i need to just really trust them anyway no matter the distance bc they could always get away with it if they wanted to

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

yeah even after that experience I think location sharing is crazy

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

I don’t think location sharing is all that crazy, if you’re sharing to your family or potential spouses (someone you’re considering to marry). Not someone you just started dating.

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

If the motivation is purely "what if something happens and I need to find you" then it's not crazy for a spouse but everyone I know who uses it is coming from a place of insecurity lol

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

Yea I get it. lol. But for me it’s the I need to find you if something happens. Unfortunately I don’t have the skills from a long career that will allow me to be Liam Neeson from taken lol

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

i understood that reference ok but other than cheating do either of u have thoughts about if it’s worth trying to make work

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

I’ve been in amazing LDR’s that unfortunately ended. But I wouldn’t have changed the experience nor the outcome. They were great.

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

thank you this is encouraging 🥹 how often did you get to see each other?

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

It is DEFINITELY HARD WORK, but not impossible. As long as you both have the drive to put in that work. Not just one or the other

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Maybe once or twice a year if we were lucky

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

oh that’s so infrequent 😭 but ig if you were both in school its difficult to make time to travel much

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 4w

ty for sharing. space is good for me but i think there’s definitely such a thing as too much. the honeymoon phase thing is a really good point but it must be so hard to say goodbye each time

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

yeaa that’s very true. the goodbyes are very hard we just saw eachother last month and won’t be seeing eachother until may. but at the same time it gives us something to look forward to. also facetiming everyday playing games tg etc

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Time and money, which we both understood we barely had. But we spoke constantly throughout the day even if it was just texts.

upvote 4 downvote