Anonymous #2 3w

im in ca, plus im going into aesthetics and planning to open my own clinic among other businesses

-1

Anonymous #1 3w

how much

1

Anonymous #4 3w

yeah

0

Anonymous #3 3w

oh…

1

Anonymous OP 3w

HMU

5

Anonymous #1 3w

?

1

Anonymous #4 3w

well actually i just got a job but the rate isnt anything to brag about lol

0

Anonymous #5 3w

ty for this, i still feel guilty though bc thats the main reason why id call it off, but i have to stop thinking so emotionally and think long term

-2

Anonymous OP 3w

Okay, so you’re going into a relatively low paying field for the amount of education required, in a state with a high cost of living, but you’re going to specialize and open your own business to make up for it… he could do the same thing and make just as much as you. It seems like you have a low opinion of blue collar labor and see it as without the opportunity for advancement/mobility. You should break up with him bc he deserves better

21

Anonymous #2 3w

it’s a high paying field actually compared to the education required

-1

Anonymous #2 3w

lots of misinfo here lmao

-2

Anonymous OP 3w

Ppl saying he can make bank fine maybe he can but what’s wrong with someone wanting someone who was idk academically driven and made it far in life the way she did or smth omg nothing wrong with a blue collar man either they’re hardworking too but sometimes guys it’s easier to have someone who you feel is more of an equal. Plus depending on your culture for instance South Asian here, my parents would rather die than let me marry someone who didn’t prioritize education and make a name for themsel

-2

Anonymous #5 3w

Themselves that way

1

Anonymous #5 3w

same situation with my parents, but i make decisions for myself so even if they havent gone to college, at least if theyre a business owner and make a substantial amount more than me, it would be ok. i just dont want to be with a person that will resent or take advantage of me esp when i plan to have kids

-1

Anonymous #1 3w

everyone saying this knows nothing about nursing 💀

-1

Anonymous #5 3w

colleges are a financial time sink, so vocational and trade schools are the new stable entry into the workforce. College doesn't automatically make you better. I got a B.A and skated all four years. Didn't even study. It's a piece of paper, a check in the box. If I was 20 right now, I'd be gunnin for an HVAC or electrical handyman trade asap

6

Anonymous #7 3w

this isnt always true and also changes nothing about my situation

-1

Anonymous OP 3w

that's fine, cuz i was talking to #5

13

Anonymous OP 3w

The average starting salary for a nurse in CA is still under six figures with a cost of living well above national averages. He can make the same or more without nursing school, so yeah, considering his job required no full time education, I’m gonna say that your field (a notoriously underpaid one btw) is low paying considering that you need years of education

1

Anonymous #2 3w

avg salary is well into 100s

0

Anonymous #2 3w

might be underpaid outside ca but not here

0

Anonymous OP 3w

You’re right, it’s 125k. I was dealing with a national average so that’s my bad. Regardless, he can still make the same that you will without the years spent unable to get paid a living wage bc you’re in school full time. His job is not low paying, going to nursing school does not make you an inherently more valuable partner, and if you’re considering breaking up with him bc you look down on his job, then yeah, he deserves better.

1

Anonymous #2 3w

avg salary for mechanic in CA is way below that. and its about pragmatism, not looking down on anything

-1

Anonymous #8 3w

thats not the most important thing

0

Can u turn ur dms on for a min 😭

-2

Anonymous #4 3w

but also he said he was low on money sooo 💀💀

-1

Anonymous OP 3w

The way they’re downvoting u IS INSANEEEEEE

4

Anonymous #5 3w

theyre going off of emotions 😭😭😭

-1

Anonymous OP 3w

That’s the ONLY important thing

-2

Anonymous OP 3w

Embarrassing fr

2

Anonymous #8 3w

no

1

Anonymous #7 3w

That’s why u study smth thats gonna make bank and has a good market! Anyways I don’t wanna argue over this or debate anything cause I understand the mindset I was raised with regarding all of this

6

Anonymous #10 3w

bc finances are important when you think about children and qol. and not only that, there’s research showing that marriages w female breadwinners have a triple divorce risk and men tend to experience psychological distress after their partner makes over 40% of the household income. i have first hand experience with this as my parents argued over expenses frequently which was not only mentally taxing being witness to these arguments but also disappointing bc at the end of the day, i didnt feel

-1

Anonymous #10 3w

supported by my parents financially despite them being pretty well off (had to take on part time jobs as a teen to participate in my passions bc conflict and my parents not sharing their income made money sparse). and its crazy bc its not like my dad had a bad career, hes a civil engineer and my moms a nurse but she still outearned him and he felt jealous bc of this. which is why i recognize its everything combined; its career/education + income + egalitarian values (which my dad didnt have).

-1

Anonymous #10 3w

this experience growing up made me to not want money to interfere in my relationships ever again and to never put my future children through that. and recent reports of femicide (Dr. Cerina) and similar patterns like this within my community corroborate this decision. i value my relationship to my future partner and children enough to not want finances to be a cause of contention in our home, so the best way to combat that is to chose a partner who makes enough to where they doesn’t have to

-1

Anonymous #10 3w

worry about money. and its not like if he makes a dollar less it’s an immediate no, i just dont want there to be a significant difference or the opportunity for them to even start getting jealous of me. so in the same salary level as me at the least, but ideally a higher level than me for practical reasons during pregnancy and after.

3

Anonymous #10 3w

also just to clarify to everyone, my mind is made up on this and i was pretty much expecting these responses, but im expounding on this now so others can understand where im coming from and why some women have these standards

-1

Anonymous #5 3w

See I feel like it’s the way you phrase things that I have a problem with. “Made it far in life” is very subjective, and thinking that you made it farther in life than someone just because you went to traditional higher education shows a specific bias. Plus the phrase “more of an equal”. You might be talking about that in terms of simple how much they make, but it kind of implies that higher education vs blue collar work are people who aren’t equal somehow, which again shows a specific bias

5

Anonymous #11 3w

Again though I think people can choose not to date someone for any reason!

1

Anonymous #11 3w

I am showing bias ur so right but the economic records show the proof as to why I have a bias. An engineer is 10x more likely to be well off than a plumber ☹️ lowk this sounds rude not tryna make it sound rude im just way too lazy to type everything out properly

4

Anonymous OP 3w

I do understand where you’re coming from. The fear makes sense. Sorry your dad was a pussy about it

6

Anonymous #10 3w

ty for understanding

1