Anonymous #1 10w

The wife would have every right to divorce if the husband is not fulfilling his duties to her

-6

Anonymous OP 10w

It truly has nothing to do with western society and it wouldn’t address any issues because there’s no such thing as true sister wives. You can only legally be married to one person in the eyes of the law.

12

Anonymous #1 10w

We’re discussing a hypothetical question, whether it will be good for society as a whole. The fact it is currently unlawful to register as married to more than one wife is not relevant. See my comment below for issues it will address

-4

Anonymous #1 10w

Exactly what I was thinking

7

Anonymous OP 10w

In your hypothetical, you lacking that having multiples in different households is creating the very same effect of single and unmarried parent households. He can’t live everywhere at once, and then favoritism amongst the wives and offspring. Nothing would be solved.

10

Anonymous #1 10w

Of course there must be equality, otherwise it wouldn’t work. Problem solved

-6

Anonymous OP 10w

lol yeah just saying doesn’t mean it happens. How would you solve where he would lay his head at with 8 wives and 8 different homes or maybe 8 wives one home, only one master bed is there a rotational schedule of whose bed he’s in.

10

Anonymous #1 10w

Limit of 4 wives. If he buys a house for one he must buy a house for the others. If he spends a night with one he must spend a night with the others. If he buys one a chocolate muffin he must buy one for the others

-2

Anonymous OP 10w

Also let’s speak about dating since you say this free for all is causing family home units to collapse fatherlessness and single motherhood. So how do daughters find spouses are we back in old times where the father most choose, are you engaging dowrys again to keep suitors away.

3

Anonymous OP 10w

Fatherlessness happens when someone choose to walk away or in the unfortunate situation dies and don’t say it’s an epidemic of women wanting to be single mothers. Don’t bullshit.

3

Anonymous #1 10w

Sure we can change the subject since you couldn’t argue the point you made about equality. Family should be involved in the process of marriage 100%. If I’m a girl and I’m trying to find myself a good husband, how can I tell a man who has bad intentions from the one who actually is serious about marriage? I invite him to meet my father. The fact he is facing my father in the first place is a good sign as he is willing to do that shows he is serious and secondly

-6

Anonymous OP 10w

Brooo what???

7

Anonymous #1 10w

My father would have my best intention at heart and as a man himself he will be able to determine whether the man is worth my time. Once my father approves it is up to me to decide whether I want to marry him or not

-8

Anonymous OP 10w

Very obvious you don’t respect women or view them as equals

11

Anonymous OP 10w

Oh no i argued my point, you asked that i address all your concerns in your comment. Are you saying that doesn’t happen now, you can take a serious man to meet your father and he can still do you wrong.

8

Anonymous #1 10w

I didn’t say there’s an epidemic of women wanting to be single mothers. I said there is an epidemic of single mothers. These are women that can remarry and be looked after through polygamy, hence solving the issue

-9

Anonymous OP 10w

I would say the epidemic is men not being able to take responsibility and step up as fathers

11

Anonymous OP 10w

If woman are choosing to be alone and single moms I again would look to why the males are not suitable to be fathers.

9

Anonymous #2 10w

That’s a big accusations, are you suggesting I see women as less than men?

-9

Anonymous OP 10w

Do u not know how to read or something? Look at what I said. Ask Google what it means if u need to

9

Anonymous OP 10w

I don't even think it's an accusation atp, the fact that you don't see what's wrong w what you're saying and are pinning the blame on women does in fact show that you hate women

8

Anonymous #1 10w

Yes it does happen, but it’s far less common to happen this way than it is when you do the free for all western dating. Remind me which point have you successfully defended?

-5

Anonymous #2 10w

The reason for the epidemic is not what we are discussing, it’s the solution

-6

Anonymous #2 10w

I agree, another problem for another discussion tho

-3

Anonymous OP 10w

Obviously not a very big thinker. Have you done any research into the reality of what you are suggesting?

5

Anonymous #2 10w

You’re very disrespectful, it’s sad you’re incapable of having intellectual conversation without resorting to childish insults

-3

Anonymous #3 10w

What blame have I given to women? What’s wrong with what I’m saying?

-1

Anonymous OP 10w

do you not understand what societal context is? or what misogyny is? everyone has been telling you Exactly what's wrong

5

Anonymous #2 10w

What kind of research would prove this to you? There’s evidence of fatherlessness epidemic, evidence of the single mother epidemic and evidence of the determinant effects these epidemics are having on the children in these households

-1

Anonymous #3 10w

I understand these things yes, not one person has made a relevant point against what I’m saying. Please make one

-1

Anonymous #4 10w

It’s when 1 man has multiple wives

-1

Anonymous OP 10w

I think I proved my point of the inability to successfully support a multiple family lifestyle across multiple households. You say what you do for one wife you do for another like that has ever stopped the foundation of favoritism of arising. How about preferences amongst the wives and children she gave me sons so she gets more. There’s nothing you can do to prevent that.

3

Anonymous OP 10w

Oh also in your messed up hypothetical this can only be extended to men, so men can have multiple wives but a woman can’t have multiple husbands why not?

4

Anonymous #1 10w

What’s the benefit of women having multiple husbands? I’ve put forward my arguments for the societal benefits of me having multiple wives. The epidemics we have would be worse if women were to have multiple husbands

-4

Anonymous #5 10w

I have women in my family who are happily married in polygamous marriages. Where’s your evidence that it doesn’t work? Does free for all dating work? What’s the alternative solutions to the epidemics we are facing?

-3

Anonymous OP 10w

U do the research. Why r u expecting the woman to do the work for u and hand it to u on a silver platter.? Ohhh I know why….

6

Anonymous OP 10w

Well if you want to be shallow so can I, having multiple streams of income to support a lifestyle. Having multiple father figures to teach and treat the family. And where one lacks the other can correct and show him to be better.

4

Anonymous #2 10w

Tell me what research should I do? What work am I expecting women to do? Can you enlighten me please

0

Anonymous OP 10w

1. Women are much more emotion driven than men; I can promise you there is guaranteed jealousy within those groups. Every poly relationship i’ve witnessed has always been a disaster, the worst ones involving attempted murder. Just look up any article online about how most of them end up. Free for all dating never works because, again, jealousy. It causes too much tension. Alternative solutions is both men and women moving towards dating culture again instead of a one night stand type of deal

1

Anonymous #5 10w

Yes these are poorly structured polygamous relationships, the same as the poorly structured mono marriages that end in disaster and death. I’m suggesting a structured one with strict rules. Dating culture is favoured to what we have today in terms of the problems we’ve discussed but it’s not a solution to the problems we have as a result of free for all dating. Jealousy is a healthy emotion that can be managed in a healthy structured polygamous relationship

-1

Anonymous #1 10w

What if 2 of the fathers disagree? Will the woman break up their fight? If money is the problem the man should not be marrying multiple wives. The woman having multiple husbands just digs us further into the epidemics we are seeing, and doesn’t resolve effectively any of the issues we’ve been discussing.

-6

Anonymous #8 10w

You’re right mr spell check, I’m glad you’re here to make sure I get my point across properly. Thank you for your support. Regardless of the misuse of the word, I’ve made my points clearly in the replies

-5

Anonymous #6 10w

Yes I used the wrong word. Thank you

-1

Anonymous #7 10w

I am Muslim but I haven’t made any argument from a Muslim perspective

1

Anonymous #9 10w

How can we resolve the issue then? How can we make people care? I’m saying allow the men to have multiple wives so they can take on the single mothers as wives, giving them safety, financial security and strong male role models for the their children. This fixes the single mother’s epidemic. If someone doesn’t want to live like this there’s no issue, I haven’t said every woman must accept her husband to have other wives

-3

Anonymous OP 10w

Financial security?? bro, two working parents have a hard enough time providing for a family as it is. And if a single mother wants a husband - she can still marry a single guy?? Again, we’re not short on guys that want to be fathers

6

Anonymous OP 10w

I get wanting to reform our system of marriage so that different relationship structures work, but saying “polygamy is objectively good for kids” is a big stretch at best.

11

Anonymous OP 10w

Monogamy is not the reason for any of these issues; it is also not unique to western societies lol. What you tend to find as you look deeper into the nature of fatherless households is that these are predominantly lower income households, for whom opportunities for economic advancement and financial security are pretty limited. I’d sooner focus on that than trying to make society embrace polyamory on a major scale

6

Anonymous OP 10w

LOL dude you are chopped. Focus on getting even ONE girlfriend before you start begging society to let you get rejected by multiple

5

Anonymous OP 10w

Ok so they’re all going to be making like a million dollars a year? Most men don’t even make enough to support a single wife not having a job and being dual income

1

Anonymous OP 10w

Yeah if this was the norm and expected of me, I would never want to get married and I think manyy women would agree. I could not handle a husband so much as flirting with another woman. Nope.

3

Anonymous #11 10w

And if you’re a man and wouldn’t want your wife marrying and having sex with a lot of other men constantly then you especially have no right to force this narrative

2

Anonymous #9 10w

If the husband is not financially capable of taking care of the wives then he is not fulfilling his duties as a husband. Yes single mothers can marry single guys buts it’s rare of a single guy to be interested in a single mother, and she also has to trust this new guy in the modern dating world that he won’t do the same thing the last one did. Whereas if she is looking specifically for a man who is financially secure enough to support his current wife and have a second one this solves that prob

-2

Anonymous #9 10w

You haven’t shown that it’s bad for kids, I’ve explained why I think it’s good for them and I haven’t seen a counter argument that proves otherwise

-3

Anonymous OP 10w

I’m not saying it’s objectively bad. Im saying that it’s not fixing anything whatsoever. Also you can’t just hand wave the cost of supporting a family with “it’s his duty as a husband”, that doesn’t get people paid lmao. if we can just assume that relationships work out perfectly and everyone is capable of “fulfilling their duties”, that already solves everything without adding more wives to the average family.

3

Anonymous #10 10w

You’re so brave, I hope you felt that bravery when you came here and personally attacked me instead of engaging with the content

0

Anonymous #11 10w

If a man does not make enough money to support his wife and family then he shouldn’t get married

0

Anonymous #11 10w

That’s your personal preference and that’s perfectly fine. I’m not saying all women should be okay with it and it should be expected of everyone

1

Anonymous #11 10w

I will never have any right to force any narrative I completely agree with you. Regardless what you’re saying doesn’t address the topic of conversation and doesn’t take away from the benefits of men having multiple wives does for society

1

Anonymous #9 10w

I’m not saying every man will now be forced to earn because they will have to fulfil their duties. I’ve said the men who are not capable of financially supporting this structured set up shouldn’t be involved in it

1

Anonymous OP 10w

It just seems to me like this plan/idea only even kinda works for people who are already well off, and with a guarantee of family stability. Any family who fits that criteria isn’t struggling with what you’re trying to solve. It’s parents without stable incomes that are currently struggling to raise their kids. Do you not see how telling them “just marry someone who can support you!” is not going to be well received? Even without them becoming a second wife/husband.

1

Anonymous OP 10w

Why do you think this would better encourage parenting than anything else? How is “marry more people, in order to support them” a better idea than “help out those less fortunate and create supportive communities”, for example? Just because it takes a village to raise a kid doesn’t mean everyone involved has to be married. I don’t see how more spouses is helpful for kids in any way in the majority of situations.

1

Anonymous #9 10w

I didn’t claim it would better encourage parenting than anything else. I haven’t denied helping people is a good thing, so therefore I’ve never claimed anyone who helps a fatherless child must be married. What I said is that this would help solve the wide spread problems we currently have in the west. Can you tell me why what I’m suggesting is a bad thing rather than a good thing? What’s your alternative solution to address these problems?

0

Anonymous #9 10w

Yes 100% it only works if the husband who is marrying multiple wives is capable of looking after them financially, emotionally and physically. What do you mean any family that fits the criteria doesn’t exist, your criteria is for the men and they do exist? Why wouldn’t a single mother marrying a capable man for support be well received?

-2

Anonymous OP 10w

This just sounds like weird traditionalism then, if you only care about the men. “The best, most successful men should get more wives”. Is that what you’re saying? This is circular reasoning, you’re just saying “well yeah it works, if it fits the criteria for it working”

5

Anonymous OP 10w

I think you misinterpreted what I meant. Any family that already currently has financial and familial stability, doesn’t benefit from what you’re proposing. This would only be a benefit in the particular case of single mothers marrying into a well off family, which as I explained, seems like an objectifying and condescending solution whether it involves polygamy or not.

3

Anonymous #9 10w

You can word it that way, I don’t have a problem with that. I would say it’s less that the more successful men should have more wives, it’s that the successful men should have the option. What’s the circular reasoning? I’ve these are the issues and I think this would solve these issues, which isn’t circular

1

Anonymous #9 10w

I’ve specifically said that society would benefit as a whole because the issues I’ve mentioned would be addressed? Are you saying they wouldn’t be? I’m not sure what’s objectifying or condescending about it, we can talk more about it if you explain it further

1

Anonymous OP 10w

I’m calling the initial conditions you’re using circular reasoning, not your overall idea. Yes, polygamy would be financially viable in cases where the father can support the whole family, that’s just.. how that works, it’s not an argument. It doesn’t mean it’s financially viable the majority of the time. I also am a bit unsure on your criteria for fixing societal issues, It’s hard to offer better solutions if I don’t know what your specific goals are besides lowering single parenthood.

1

Anonymous OP 10w

I’m saying that it’s condescending and objectifying because the point of marriage is loving commitment, not just financial support and a father for your kid. It’s one thing to say poly marriage should be legal, it’s another to say that single mothers should marry into families just for their kids to have a dad of some sort. In the cases where this makes sense from a personal relationship standpoint and not purely a financial one… it already happens. Just without a fancy document.

1

Anonymous OP 10w

Most of the issues I would associate with single parenthood revolve around lack of ability to put time towards parenting, since the parent needs to work. So polygamy only creates a benefit under extreme wealth disparity, where splitting one high paycheck across a 5 parent family is more viable than one average paycheck across 2 parents, for example. Without that wealth disparity, this would just mean marriage in general is good for parenting time.

1

Anonymous #9 10w

You’re saying the reasoning is circular because I’m saying it’s only viable for financially capable men? I haven’t said it’s financially viable majority of the time. To clarify the reasons it’s better for society- it allows single mothers a more stable way of living, it provides strong father figures for children living in single mother households, it reduces the burden on the economy because the government would not be required to support the single mother because the husband is now supporting

0

Anonymous #9 10w

The point of marriage is not loving commitment. It’s a structured way of reaching emotional, social and practical goals. Human beings use each other and there’s nothing wrong with that. In this case the woman would seek husband who can support her and her child and who is capable of taking on that role, and the man would be allowed to have a second wife which is a privilege for him

-1

Anonymous #9 10w

Yes I agree with you, it only works if the man is financially capable

-1

Anonymous OP 10w

You need a lot more than finances…

3

Anonymous #2 10w

A lot more than what? If you’re not financially capable of supporting a family then you shouldn’t try to support one

0

Anonymous OP 10w

I feel like you’re purposely misunderstanding everybody’s points to try and make yourself feel better about your own argument

5

Anonymous #2 10w

What have I misunderstood?

-1

Anonymous OP 10w

well, then we’ve reached the point where our argument breaks down. I believe a marriage should mean more to both parties than an exchange of financial security for the “privilege” of adding a wife to the collection. If you don’t, that’s fine, but that’s one of the primary places you’ll lose people in this train of thought.

5

Anonymous #9 10w

I haven’t said it’s nothing but an exchange. I said this is the primary reason you seek it out, even in successful monogamous relationship you see the same thing. You admire good things about this person and you see they will benefit you so you focus on building a relationship with them. Of course when building the relationship other things come like love and trust and all the rest. I believe the same thing as you so there is no breakdown

0

Anonymous #10 9w

I haven’t said monogamy is the reason for the issues, nor have I said it’s unique to western society. I’m not against improving financial security of all people. You haven’t addressed any of the points I’ve made

1