
It’s my birthday today, attempted to kms on multiple of my previous birthdays, each one is really shitty, only thing keeping me going through this one is that I’m meeting my online friend of over a decade for the first time in a couple of weeks, and the hope that one year I won’t have a shitty birthday
Celebrating another year reminds me that people die and I get distraught especially about the thought of my parents or my younger sibling having to continue with their lives if I die before them and how I don’t want them to have to suffer that pain but also that in a small selfish way it would be easier for me to die without having to live without them