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im at such a point in my life where i dont care about my life enough to go on but i want to live just barely enough to feel the need to not kill myself the will to yearn so strongly with the sting of continuous back to back defeat feeling like a ton
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Anonymous 5w

will it get better? will it get worse? things keep pulling at the seams. friends are suffering too, people, innocents, civilizations that i want to reach out towards but i cant because im having trouble just managing my own damn self. i suck at this. this hurts. i dont even know how to make my own decisions now cause everything feels so out of place and complicated and i have to do it alone i need to manage myself, i cant feign ignorance or cry for help. i need to be an adult.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 5w

so i cant afford to sit here and cry or make a fuss. im simply not in the position to, i cant afford it, no one will hear me. and the ones that can cant do anything or simply dont know what to do about it. my tears don’t matter. but maybe something will change, something please… i need something to change so i can continue to exist, before i cease and rot into a shell of myself. though sometimes i wish my soul would rot already so maybe the underlying buzz of pain would stop.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 5w

but i guess… its my curse to yearn forever yet not be desired fully. at least, thats the case for now. womp womp i guess. =~=;;

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