it’s usually more about poor communication than the actual fact the person is talking to someone else. like party a says/does something to make party b think they’re exclusive, so b stops talking to other people, but then b finds out a was talking to other people the whole time. it’s about the unclear expectation/lack of straightforward communication causing inequity, not the act of talking to other people itself.

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For me, I was upset because I wasn't aware of it. Being autistic makes me very unaware about dating/hookup culture so my now-girlfriend didn't think she needed to explicitly say that we weren't exclusive or state that she was talking to other people, because most people just assume that to be the case. So when I found out it was very upsetting to me because I wasn't under the impression that even if we weren't dating, there was some level of exclusivity there.

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if someone does understand why it’s upsetting please explain, i don’t have a horse in this race so i don’t really get it or have experience with it. obviously cheating is wrong, but that’s only if you’re dating, and a talking stage isn’t dating, so i’m not sure on this one but i do want to understand where the hurt comes from.

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