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Neurodivergent icon
Neurodivergent 3w
is it appropriate to tell someone you don’t know “it sounds like you hate your partner/your partner hates you/you hate each other” because sometimes i think people need to hear it but idk if that’s mean to say
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Anonymous 3w

Ngl. I just say it. Or pose it as a question like “hey genuinely if this happens so much why do you stay in the relationship when there’s hundreds of other people who won’t treat you this way” or straight up ask “do you even like them?”

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Anonymous 3w

Sometimes people need to vent and process emotions. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are in a hateful relationship. Buuuuut, it’s never wrong to notice a pattern and acknowledge it. You can just directly, but neutrally, tell them that you notice that they only tell you negative things about their relationship. What you don’t want to do is ask, “Why are you even with this person?” It’d also be wise to kindly suggest talking with a therapist, and remind them that you’re not one.

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Anonymous 3w

i don’t wanna be mean but also like idk so many ppl will openly admit to loathing their partner and idk if it’s like weird to say it’s weird they’re still dating then, or just the way they talk about them is SO nasty like… do they know you talk about them like that??? it’s so mean

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Anonymous replying to -> notyourprofsprof 3w

if it’s a friend i get this but if someone is talking horribly in a non-anonymous, public setting online it’s so uncomfortable to me because like… you’re talking horribly about your partner behind their back? still horrible to talk about your partner anon like that but ppl will do it w their personal account attached and like… even if it’s “venting” that’s just being nasty and awful behind their back and i can’t rlly get behind it? esp to strangers? idk theres a diff between that and venting

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Anonymous replying to -> notyourprofsprof 3w

venting to friends i get entrusting them with more sensitive information about a relationship but even then, if i found out someone i was with was degrading me to other people and saying horrible stuff behind my back i’d be really upset. it’s just the way some people talk about the person/people they claim to love. it’s wild to me.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 3w

Speaking only to the healthier hypothetical, if someone’s SO is the person who helps them process emotions, where do they take the negative ones that are about them? And really, if they aren’t coming to you privately, then even the healthiest hypothetical version of this needs to get that shit sorted out before it ruins all their relationships. Because you are right to feel ick. This is publicly trashing the reputation of someone they profess to care about. That’s alarming.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 3w

Ad for the toxic dynamic, what you just described is draaaaaaaama and either or both could be bringing unhealthy dynamics to their relationship.

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Anonymous replying to -> notyourprofsprof 3w

like i totally get going to a trusted friend to help with stuff that’s troubling you but even then, i feel like if you talk about someone you love like you hate their guts, maybe that’s a sign to find someone you actually like? and even with the first thing, there’s ways to talk through negative emotions with a partner, though i totally get wanting outside perspective, etc. it’s just the way people talk about their partner to me, like man, it’s just bullying them at some point

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 3w

Well said.

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