Anonymous OP 5w

I had a meltdown and my friend was in the car and I snapped at them and they went “im sorry” and I didn’t even reassure them I didn’t even say it’s ok I drove home 30 minutes in complete and utter silence and wanted to tell them I wasn’t mad so badly so so horribly badly but I didn’t I couldn’t the wouldn’t come and now they’re stuck at my house bc they don’t drive while I cry like a bitch and hate myself for what. The act of hating myself is selfish

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Anonymous OP 5w

I can’t do anything omfg. Everything I do I make it stupid and like it’s a whole fucking drama fest. I would leave me if I could I don’t like being near myself I don’t like hearing myself talk I don’t like existing in my space I cannot fathom someone wanting to be my friend im quite literally the worst possible choice. I only hang out with myself because my parents would be mad if I died and I’d just prove them right

10

Anonymous OP 5w

I want to tell my friend who’s over im having a bad time rn but what then. They’d pity me snd they’d be scared and they’d look at me with such a bitter expreeeion and then they’d tiptoe around me. But instead I’m going to my room and crying for like an hour and then I have to keep hanging out with them or drive them the hour and a half home

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Anonymous #1 5w

but it’s not. It’s okay. you’ve got nothing to fear. i’m here. you’re here. it was just a thought. it’s okay. we can watch them go by from here. thoughts like this are like white butterflies or leaves in the wind or atop a calm river. they’ll come and go in their own ways, some fall in ridiculous fashion while others linger in the air longer than we’d like them to. take a moment to return to center, to your body and where it’s at physically, just say “I’m here” and not wherever your mind goes

1

Anonymous #1 5w

it’ll take some time and some practice to be able to unmask and tell our loved ones when we’re struggling with our emotions and anxiety, especially when you feel obligated to be around them. telling someone how you’re feeling is important for them too, not just for you. if they’re truly a friend, they won’t just sit and pity you, they’ll consider what you need or don’t need, what you can and can’t handle, and they’ll just say “okay” and maybe ask some questions for more understanding.

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Anonymous #1 5w

you are not what your thoughts tell you. you are NOT unlovable and you are NOT incapable of having healthy loving relationships of any kind. you ARE capable of letting people in. you ARE worth the time people spend with you. you ARE worthy of having friends. you ARE extraordinary. you ARE a human being.

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Anonymous #1 5w

meltdowns can be tough, especially when other people become collateral damage in the process. take your time coming back to center, but don’t feel ashamed of it. you’re still learning how to navigate this and they’re still learning from you about what they can do or what you need from them. i know it’s a monumental task to simply start, but i promise that that is the hardest part. the more you explore yourself with the people around you that care, the more you’ll grow. ❤️

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