Neurodivergent on Sidechat | As someone who is bad at socializing but has been practicing… WHY do neurotypical people drag small talk on for forever?? I’ll start saying goodbye and they’ll say something else and carry the convo on bit by bit :,)

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Neurodivergent 20h

As someone who is bad at socializing but has been practicing… WHY do neurotypical people drag small talk on for forever?? I’ll start saying goodbye and they’ll say something else and carry the convo on bit by bit :,)

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Anonymous 18h

Small talk is typically a filler till somebody else arrives who can carry the conversation, or until the conversation has “run its course” and it’s time to get down to whatever the main topic is. People like to talk about themselves, so if you give them a topic where they can talk about themselves they’ll easily fill 5 minutes where you can just go with it. “Oh cool”, “mhmm”

Anonymous 18h

but never when i actually want to talk to someone. THEN i have to try and fail to maintain the conversation 😭

Anonymous 14h

what even is small talk, I’ve never gotten a straight answer

Anonymous

#3 13h

It’s a pre-conversation because people are uncomfortable in silence. So they’ll start talking about the weather, or if you have plans for the summer. It’s not related to why you’re actually there and feels slightly off topic, but it’s a way to shoot the shit with another person while you basically wait for something. IE You and your brothers girlfriend are left alone while he’s in the bathroom, you might start talking about plans for the weekend just to talk about SOMETHING.

Anonymous

#3 12h

I agree with 2 but I’d add on that small talk is also a way to slowly build rapport with someone in passing without delving into topics below surface level. Sometimes small talk occurs in passing without necessarily waiting for anything other than waiting for the convo to end and the participants to move on

Anonymous

OP 12h

Mhmm, it’s also a good time to get a read on somebody better or learn about them, oh you asked about their weekend and they brought up their kid’s hockey games, you now know you can use that for a future small talk topic. So now if you have to give a dry presentation you can make it seem more relevant or contextually customized.

Anonymous

OP 12h

idk if it’s conceited of me to say this, but I normally only talk about thinks I’m passionate about. even with people I don’t know well (like my coworkers or a cousin at a family get together), I can’t come up with conversation to just fill space. if I’m not talking abt something that matters to me then I don’t care to talk at all