Anonymous OP 2w

Like I had to work very hard to get to where I am and it’s clear from his behavior he was never told no as a child and I hate how entitled he acts because of it, and everyone shrugs it off because he’s “autistic” (which for me feels like a slap in the face)

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Anonymous OP 2w

I’m autistic too! But hes getting to the point where hes butting into everyone else’s class time in order to be the center of attention and i wish somebody could tell him the world does not revolve around him. I have limitations but part of it is working with others, not having others do it for you

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Anonymous #1 2w

it’s a difference in how boys and girls are raised but when someone who is totally capable of learning social boundaries just doesn’t and they never will because they’re always given a pass, esp in cases where it makes ppl uncomfortable it makes me SO mad bc i think ppl hand out “oh they can’t help it they’re autistic” far more than it actually applies

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Anonymous #1 2w

No literally. I am so conflicted because I don’t wanna be ableist about it but also like part of it is because I am an AFAB woman with autism so the differing treatment infuriates me. Its not like I want want to act like he does, it’s the fact he gets to do it without consequence is so unfair

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Anonymous #1 2w

idk maybe tangentially related but that bothers me the most and i don’t rlly feel guilty for that but when it’s also just that we have two different brands of autism i feel so evil for not getting along or being bothered by it i feel like the most ableist person in the world even if it’s all just internal

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Anonymous #1 2w

I understand. He’s also just annoying in general tbh and that doesn’t help at all

10

Anonymous OP 2w

!!!! it bothers me so bad bc like, yeah there are people who don’t understand it and never will and maybe this is internalized ableism but i’ve learned all the proper social boundaries and many boys and grown ass men certainly can. tbh i think it’s ableist to say they’re incapable of learning it and so they get a pass. makes me so mad.

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Anonymous #1 2w

You said it!! That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. From the way this guy acts it’s like he doesn’t even have to try to get what he wants and it’s sad because that won’t get him far in the world anyway

12

Anonymous OP 2w

like why did *i* have to learn everything just because i was raised a girl and you get a pass for far worse just bc you’re a boy??

10

Anonymous #1 2w

Yes!!! He acts so gross in class and pushes my boundaries too and it just— I wanna say something and tell him to stop but I don’t wanna come off as a bitch

7

Anonymous OP 2w

Sometimes he comes over to my space and stares at my drawing tablet and I’ve told him several times not to, it’s really uncomfortable

13

Anonymous OP 2w

it makes me so sad too bc there will come a day it doesn’t work as an excuse and i’m not saying this ab him in particular but i’ve seen so many ppl let sexual harassment or assault pass just bc “he doesn’t understand” but he doesn’t understand bc he was never TAUGHT and wasn’t held responsible until it’s something really serious

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Anonymous OP 2w

ewwww i typed that last one before i saw this but yeah that’s so uncomfortable. i’m sorry you’re dealing with that 🫂

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Anonymous #1 2w

No literally!! He also is just kinda mean in general and that won’t fly. We’re both art students and his critiques are rather mean spirited sometimes

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Anonymous OP 2w

Like I know he’s just being blunt, I am too, trust me, but he really doesn’t seem to care about anything that doesn’t involve him and his work and his entitlement

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Anonymous #1 2w

I’m really glad somebody else understands. I have been holding all this in for several semesters now and I don’t know when I need to speak up about how uncomfortable he makes me feel in the classroom— because I dunno what they’ll look past and also what I’m overreacting to

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Anonymous OP 2w

And of course I don’t wanna be ableist about it. I know he has limitations but there’s a point where that can’t excuse behavior entirely

13

Anonymous OP 2w

!! there’s absolutely a point and like, it does make me sad when someone isn’t taught how to act bc i know it’s not entirely their fault but at some point you gotta have some self awareness and look around and grow, there are some situations where it’s expected to know how to act around and with other people

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Anonymous OP 2w

if it makes you uncomfortable though i don’t think that’s overreacting at all. esp because you’re also autistic, in my experience it always feels way more intense and i kinda don’t care if they’re autistic, if i’ve been super direct with them there’s no excuse for them to keep doing it. it’s frustrating af. but none of this sounds like an overreaction even aside from that

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Anonymous #1 2w

Yep yep yep exactly. People act like they’re being an ally for disabled people when they excuse them again and again but really it’s infantilizing to treat someone as if they’re incapable of being bearable. Yes it can take a while to get used to boundaries, but it is in fact a thing most of us can do

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Anonymous #2 2w

Meanwhile my friend was controlled and barred from doing certain things and leading up to their diagnosis were told repeatedly by their parents “oh I don’t think you have autism”. They were pushed to go to college, he was gently nudged but never pushed because he didn’t want to go. There’s a lot more than that but obviously I’m not gonna share my friends life any more

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Anonymous #2 2w

that’s so frustrating. it’s insane how boys are so often babied into their adult life, and it’s not gonna make it easier for them. like, in cases like this… the plan usually is to dump him on another sibling, usually any sisters/afab siblings. bc they don’t have an education, can’t hold a job, and they’re gonna have to learn how to do all that well into being an adult and it’s not gonna be easy for them. because it’s not fair to dump them on a sibling if they’re fully capable, just never learned

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Anonymous #2 2w

EXACTLY it’s infantilizing and like i really do think it’s ableism or at least rooted in ableism to assume autistic people can’t learn anything. and sexist to make girls/afab learn but not boys/amab.

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Anonymous #3 2w

True, but my worst fear is that my professor won’t be able to do anything and I’ll look ridiculous even asking

1

Anonymous OP 2w

that's fair!! they might be able to avoid grouping you at the very least or help pivot interactions to avoid awkward moments. it all depends on ur prof and ur judgement of their character (like if they would be willing to help/kind enough to help) and the kind of classes/scenarios u run into this dude in :((

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Anonymous #3 2w

but i wish u luck!! it can't hurt to ask at the very least; in situations like that i usually explain myself and then ask if they can support me at all. a simple "this person really gets on my nerves due to x, y, and z. (you can add something about them triggering overstimulation and other similar things related to ur own autism here!!) i would appreciate your support in limiting my contact with this student and overcoming this situation" is better than nothing and can help tremendously

2