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Someone set a boundary about something I did to upset them and I’m so grateful they told me, they were so nice and accepted my apology, but fuck I am still burning up with shame and feel awful and sick even though they forgive me and I didn’t know before
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Anonymous 1d

Nah you gotta think about it as them trusting you enough to tell you and caring enough about you and your relationship to make it as good as possible. I don’t set boundaries with people I don’t like I just stop talking to or interacting with them. The only people I set really clear boundaries with are the people i intend to have in my life for as long as possible

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Anonymous 1d

I always feel the same way. I’m left wondering if they think I’m a bad person now, and it never goes away

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1d

After working w enough ppl who set boundaries like that, I've learned that no, 9/10 times they don't think you're a bad person at all or anything if you simply apologize and acknowledge. They're just crystal clear about things! It's just a 'Hey. Don't do that' or 'I don't like that' or 'That makes me uncomfortable', and if you respond properly, that's it that's all

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 1d

If I set a boundary, the only thing that would turn me off is them not making an effort to change

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 20h

Yeah I know that logically, and I also thanked them for telling me. I also remembered previous times I’d done that thing when they hadn’t told me… but I’m glad they told me now so I know in the future. There’s a lot that I understand *logically* and still can’t stop the gut reaction of self hatred and shame :,) but I’m trying. They are amazing and have assured me they aren’t mad either, just takes a while to internalize that.

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