and this isn’t a “drop them they’re immature” situation, this is someone i love to the ends of the earth and want to push through with

11

Have you asked them what you should do about it? For example, for me the answer is for them to keep going while I cry. I can’t control my tears but the conversations need to happen, so I tell people in advance they can just keep going even if I cry, that it doesn’t mean they did something wrong, etc

7

do you know why that happens? trauma at all?

6

With me and my husband, we literally have the big conversations over text and a lot of people have told us that’s stupid or made “your generation-“ comments but it is what works for us. We start with “awkward conversation time” and then wait for the other person to be aware and involved and then have the conversation, it also gives us plenty of opportunity and time to think of what’s being said and to understand and to come up with a response that isn’t a knee jerk reaction.

2

I am someone who shuts down and spirals easy. What helps me is a) a scheduled convo b) very comfy environment c) reminders that “we’re having this tough convo because we care about each other and want to push through hard stuff”

1