
There’s a lack of friends.. but also a lack of romance. I’ve never dated. I think I’ve only been approached like twice. But I wasn’t interested in them. I’ve tried approaching guys and I always get rejected. It makes me feel like an ugly pig. I’ve tried so much to make myself more appealing. I’ve tried losing weight, wearing makeup, wearing skirts/dresses, dying my hair blonde, etc. But they never want me. I try giving in to their lustful requests online. Never in person, that feels too far.
I see people walk with their friends, eat with them, go to games, go to bars, have holiday parties, have birthday parties, study together, go on vacays together, text, sleepover, hangout, etc. But I don’t have that. I can only manage to muster one or two friends at a time and even then it doesn’t last long. Maybe a year and then it crumbles. Then I spend a prolonged period of time alone with nobody. I’ve been going at it alone for a year now
I try making friends and I fail. I approach people in class, in clubs, in the student center, online, on the bus, etc. But I can’t make a friend anywhere. They either have zero interest. Some interest but I can tell they’re just being polite but don’t care. Moderate interest where I thought we hit it off that one time but then when I grab their number they never text me back. I can never seem to get further than that