Mental Health on Sidechat | I hate when people try to poeticize my grief when I tell them about it. It’s not like glitter, it’s not like the ocean, it’s not like a ball in a box. It sucks. The most sympathetic thing someone has told me is “it’s really shitty, isn’t it?”

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Mental Health 20h

I hate when people try to poeticize my grief when I tell them about it. It’s not like glitter, it’s not like the ocean, it’s not like a ball in a box. It sucks. The most sympathetic thing someone has told me is “it’s really shitty, isn’t it?”

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Anonymous 20h

Sounds like someone does know how much grief sucks. Sorry for your loss.

Anonymous 17h

aye bru sometimes people are uncomfortable bc they werent ever rlly taught what to say to someone in grief. its annoying but u gotta understand that in america, the default messaging is that you got to suck it up bc you got shit to do. its not right but until everyone in america experiences the deep dark of it all, we are going to get corny messaging from anyone we tell shit to unless its someone we’re very very close to that also has space to hold for us.

Anonymous 15h

I agree with #2. I’m pretty sure it’s because lots of people have no idea how to express their sympathies without possibly triggering the other person. They want to comfort you but have no idea that what they’re saying is meant to make you ignore it instead of getting through it

Anonymous

#2 17h

that being said, grief is really fucking shitty and im sorry for your loss. meditating on an eventual full circle healing journey for you, friend

Anonymous

#3 11h

precisely bro. not everyones taught that grief is a biological process, they think feeling hurt is weakness vs holding it together is strength when its really the opposite for each. OP is so very honest with themselves though and i think that is a very beautiful spot to be in. radical honesty is the type of tool that helps you process loss, among others. people are rarely taught this, hence corny poetic sayings that people regurgitate when they are clueless on how to support the other person

Anonymous

#2 10h

Listen I get that consoling a grieving person is a difficult position to be in and it isn’t easy to know what to say. But literally don’t ask a grieving person about their grief if you know you’re bad at responding to it. I get it if it’s kind of sprung on you, heavy conversations never go well when they start by surprise. But don’t make yourself out to be an emotional resource for a grieving person when you don’t actually know how to be one.