LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | are urban queer folk different than rural ones? i’ve lived in rural appalachia my entire life so maybe that’s why i don’t seem to relate to a lot of queer folks on the internet

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LGBTQIA+ 1d

are urban queer folk different than rural ones? i’ve lived in rural appalachia my entire life so maybe that’s why i don’t seem to relate to a lot of queer folks on the internet

Anonymous 1d

honestly as someone who moved from appalachia to a bigger city in a blue state (but not somewhere known as a queer place), it’s lowkey relieving bc there are more kinds of queer people to interact with. at home i feel really alienated from a lot of other queer people because it’s so intwined with being ~quirky~ (possums, frogs, crystals, tarot, etc etc) but in the city it’s ~quirky~ queers, and sports gays, and drag race fans, and party queens, etc.

Anonymous 1d

QUEER PERSON IN RURAL APPALACHIAAAAAAAA!!! HELLO I’m also a queer person in rural Appalachia

Anonymous 1d

i reckon they’re different. i grew up in a small town which has since grown a lot, but i find it difficult to relate to a lot of other queer folk who come from urban settings

Anonymous 1d

I think the big difference is that you'll find a larger variety of queer people in cities than you do in small towns. I feel like, in small towns, queer people are pigeonholed into one specific stereotype, and we all kind of cling together because we don't really have anyone else. But in cities, there's just about everyone under the sun, so you're more likely to find a more specific tribe that suits your tastes and interests.

Anonymous 1d

It won’t let me reply to your comment directly, for some reason, here’s a reply That feeling of being judged in a crowd does go away when you get used to it. I still hate crowds don’t get me wrong, but exposure therapy is really effective at getting over that specific aspect. I only suffer from sensory stuff now when I’m in crowds lol

Anonymous 1d

Yes exceptionally diff. Went from rural olympics region (not dissimilar to appalachia) to seattle area and these ppl are so performative. Theyd sooner leave their rural cousins behind in denouncing rural areas entirely than try and improve conditions. Theyll also assume ur a bigot if you hunt

Anonymous

#3 1d

Like not everyone but thats the worst of it

Anonymous

#3 1d

But broadly my experience is that the classism prevails over the solidarity :( and if youre trash at all (love yall) it is highly looked down upon

Anonymous

#3 1d

I think this is a really big generalization coming from someone that moved from a rural area to a bigger city

Anonymous

#2 1d

EYYYY ME TOO!

Anonymous

#3 1d

Yeah I’m with 4 here. This comment doesn’t really follow from the post, it’s just you complaining about city folks generally. Not queer city folk.

Anonymous

#2 1d

AYEEEEEE

Anonymous

#6 1d

like yes, sometimes it is hard to communicate with others about my specific background or experiences, but i’ve also found that i have more opportunities to connect with a broader community and don’t feel like my identity is being pigeonholed into a set of stereotypes.

Anonymous

#6 1d

and this is nothing against quirky people! love that for them! but it’s just not my vibe and at home (in appalachia) it often felt like the quirky-alt-queer scene ended up being closer to a circle than a venn diagram.

Anonymous

#6 1d

YES you get it

Anonymous

#5 1d

We should all be friends ⛰️

Anonymous

#4 1d

But tbh, I think the move is worth it if you're considering it. I grew up in rural Chile, where I was one of maybe four or five queer kids in a tiny town, and I moved to Chicago for college. Despite being so far from home, I feel like I'm thriving for the first time in my life, and I've been able to make so many queer friends here.

Anonymous

#5 1d

Its specifically about my experience im not speaking for everybody or complaining ab city folk in general. This is specific to how urban queer circles can still replicate other systemic injustices and my experience with that. I guess i did miss the part where living in the city is so much safer and it is so much nicer to not get called slurs all the time or have 2 entire other lesbians in the town

Anonymous

#2 1d

Yesssss

Anonymous

#3 1d

Although ill also say its a lot nicer in the city cuz ppl are less prescriptive ab identity. Rural queer circles often try and look as normative as possible for safety, which often can shun those who dont care to adhere to those or try to be an exemplary queer person. It was rlly isolating to be gender nonconforming as most other trans ppl avoided being associated with someone who looked very trans. But in some ways the solidarity was tighter. Im hitting the nuance button as hard as i can

Anonymous

#4 1d

i’ve considered it before but when vacationing in more populated areas i kind of… hate it? idk i feel more judged with so many other people around me. urban areas are super overwhelming compared to what i’m used to. i went to kennywood once and just the outskirts of pittsburgh was terrifying also for some reason despite being in a rural area there’s like, so many other queer folks? we have a yearly pride in one of the local small towns and it’s always insanely packed

Anonymous

#3 1d

fr i hate when urban folks say rural folks deserve to be left behind :( not all of us are ultra-conservatives

Anonymous

OP 1d

I promise you people are not judging you unless you’re blocking the sidewalk in a busy area most people in big cities don’t care what you’re doing as long as you’re not bothering them

Anonymous

#3 1d

i have to admit i’m quite normal-looking for what people usually consider queer, but it’s not even because i’m afraid. i just don’t like flashy stuff 🤷🏻 i’m transmasc and non-binary, i just prefer looking like a divorced dad lmao

Anonymous

#4 1d

see i’m not good at sidewalks 😭 my town doesn’t even have a sidewalk except for on the main strip. i’m rarely ever exposed to sidewalks, let alone packed ones

Anonymous

#5 1d

oh yeah i hate crowds. everything about them. i even go to the beach during the winter to avoid them 💀

Anonymous

OP 1d

In cities you also get a much higher quality of life in Chicago we have medical clinics dedicated specifically to treating LGBT patients and you have to worry about workplace discrimination a lot less (although it unfortunately does still exist in some areas) which is a major when you’re visibly trans

Anonymous

OP 1d

Oh you’d love western Massachusetts. Imagine this, but 30 mins away is lesbianville, a bunch of queer businesses and groups. Even out in the countryside there’s queer people. One of the bigger of the small Berkshire towns has a pride fest now

Anonymous

OP 1d

Riight like idk why im being downvoted its a real thing

Anonymous

OP 1d

I mean it kinda goes both ways, people in small towns love to demonize cities