Anonymous #1 4w

Oh you said lets wake that tea up?

38

Anonymous OP 4w

Turn up the burners bro I have OPINIONS on this subject

83

Anonymous #2 4w

Like as a trans guy: if you don’t want to fuck me, whatever. Just don’t fuck me and let’s both move on with our lives lmao. That’s a you problem.

31

Anonymous #2 4w

I feel the same way -another trans guy

14

Anonymous #1 4w

YES GO OFF

19

Anonymous #7 4w

Idk what you mean by worship exactly but gay people worship pop culture figures, and there's a lot of trans women in pop culture like Alex Consani, Hunter Schafer, Cortisa Star, etc meanwhile trans men ain’t doing shit… no shade only one I can name is Elliot page

9

Anonymous #9 4w

Watch that mouth hoe...

1

Anonymous OP 4w

Trans men ARE doing shit, please use google

9

Anonymous #6 4w

See how I don't need to use google to mention popular trans women? That's the whole point dear

6

Anonymous OP 4w

surely you realize that saying “trans men ain’t doing shit” suggests that the issue is a lack of talented & charismatic trans men (or a lack of trans men who act on said talents well enough to gain recognition), when realistically the small number of trans men in the mainstream public eye is instead attributable to a variety of societal & systemic factors working against us

5

Anonymous #12 4w

Sexuality is comprised of affinities for specific stereotypes, scripts, and roles (e.g., “rugged,”“alternative” or “effeminate” etc), as well as mental attributes (e.g., personality traits) and physical attributes (e.g., physique, complexion, hairstyles, and yes, genitalia) that we’ve been conditioned to like and/or accept and which elicit arousal and/or an emotional response and all of which we subconscious process but may not always be consciously aware of. TLDR: penis is part of it sometimes

2

Anonymous #13 4w

*subconsciously

2

Anonymous #12 4w

there’s also the fact that some trans men have undergone bottom surgery and do have penises

18

Anonymous #13 4w

yeah, and some trans men find it intensely alienating that some cis men seem to find themselves resolutely unwilling to work on unlearning the conditioning that leads them to not see trans men as viable partners. and that sense of alienation is perfectly understandable. that was kind of the whole point of the original post

9

Anonymous #10 4w

I mean as a trans guy, I get what you’re saying and I agree with it on a macro level, I find it very annoying when cis gay men proclaim they’d never date a trans man. Because we’re not a monolith, and their insistence that they’d NEVER find ANY trans man attractive is transphobic. That being said on an individual level, if a gay guy’s not attracted to me because he likes penis and I don’t have one, I’m not offended by that. You can’t really choose what you’re attracted to.

22

Anonymous #2 4w

“Because we’re not a monolith, and their insistence that they’d NEVER find ANY trans man attractive is transphobic”—yes, that’s the crux of the issue, you and I are already in agreement

12

Anonymous #2 4w

note that none of my replies indicated that i think every single cis gay man is ethically obligated to date trans men. so that last part of your reply isn’t contradicting or even responding to anything that i’ve said

1

Anonymous #10 4w

The sticking point for me was in the “unlearning the conditioning” part, it came off to me like a “just choose to change what you’re attracted to” thing which I think isn’t fair. But I apologize if I misinterpreted that, as long as we’re talking about gay men making generalizations about all trans men then yes I agree.

10

Anonymous #2 4w

there’s a very substantial difference between “please be willing to think critically about what presumptions & undue cultural influences may be involved in ‘I don’t date trans men’ as a hardline stance” (and I would request the same of anyone whose attraction to others explicitly excludes Any category of marginalized people who is otherwise congruent with the gender they’re attracted to) and “you must make the choice to be attracted to trans men”

2

Anonymous #10 4w

I agree. Like I said, I interpreted part of your comment as the latter. I agree with your actual point and I apologize for any misunderstanding.

1

Anonymous #10 4w

Feelings of alienation are expected and valid. And deconstruction is absolutely something that should be explored. Even then though, that doesn’t automatically lead to change. For myself, I know exactly where my attractions come from socially, but at the end of the I cannot bring myself to escape from them. And that experience is equally valid. Most people have not done that deconstruction though

1

Anonymous #13 4w

*end of the day

1

Anonymous #10 4w

idk why you’re getting booed, you’re right. Anyway, here’s two trans dudes: Aryan Pasha (first trans indian bodybuilder) and Cavetown!!

6

Anonymous #10 4w

Categorically excluding people is absolutely indicative of biases, too ofc. Often times people do use shorthand or make exceptions as well

4

Anonymous #10 4w

I think it’s super important we separate descriptive explanations of sexuality from moral stances on identities. Just because someone is not attracted to something doesn’t mean they think that identity is invalid, even if it may feel that way on the receiving end.

1

Anonymous #13 4w

if you understood what i said, and you recognize that the feeling of alienation is understandable, and you agree that it’s best for people to think critically about how societal clichés and biases influence their spheres of attraction, then the rest of this reply chain is superfluous. no one is putting you on the spot to justify yourself individually, and no one said that every single cis gay man who exclusively dates cis men is necessarily conceptualizing our identities as invalid

-3

Anonymous #13 4w

“categorically excluding people is absolutely indicative of biases” yes, that is the crux of the issue, end of conversation. no need to let cognitive dissonance lead you into talking in circles over points that hadn’t been made in the first place

-3

Anonymous #10 4w

At this point I think we’re talking past each other then. I already agreed with everything you said. I’m not in the mood to be combative or have arguments in bad faith.

9

Anonymous #10 4w

I was simply making a point adding on to your valid expression of feelings of invalidation that arise from rejection

14

Anonymous #13 4w

a point that is by now redundant to have brought up for the umpteenth time, which there was no real reason to include when responding to what I said in particular. the conversation already ended, you were already talking past me and unnecessarily being combative, that’s what I was saying. you don’t always need to have the final word

-3

Anonymous #10 4w

They were not being combative, dude. They were agreeing with you and offering their perspective as a gay man (because this is a conversation about the gay community). He was not attacking you.

20

Anonymous #10 4w

I was the one that commented first responding to #12 and you decided to engage with me. Lest you also forget the OG post that was quoted made a generalization about gay men too. Nobody is entitled to “having the last word” this isn’t a competition and your hostility is so unwarranted

14

Anonymous #2 4w

a perspective that had already been repeatedly voiced in this same thread and which he expressed as if it somehow contradicted my own perspective, as if he was bringing up new information or something that somehow hadn’t occurred to me. no one accused him of “attacking” anyone, there’s just no need to keep on talking in the same circle over and over with a majority opinion. if a cis man being addressed bluntly as an equal rather than coddled as a superior hurts your feelings, that’s too bad

-2

Anonymous #10 4w

What is with your obsession with shutting down dialogue. This conversation wasn’t about you originally. It seems like you are simply making a lot of assumptions about my intent and that’s not okay.

8

Anonymous #13 4w

I don’t think I’m being hostile, but I definitely think you’re being condescending and self-unaware. you’re free to have disengaged several replies ago btw

-1

Anonymous #10 4w

If this is how you address equals, you are an asshole. He responded to a thread in an open forum and you accused him of “always needing to have the final word.” It’s just rude, man. You were being rude.

11

Anonymous #2 4w

They blocked me 😅

9

Anonymous #2 4w

yes, perceiving a stranger as an equal means that sometimes when that person speaks condescendingly towards you, you react in kind rather than feeling obligated to hand-hold. you can think I’m an asshole, and I can think your reading comprehension needs work, and the world will keep on turning regardless

-1

Anonymous OP 4w

😘

-4