Anonymous #1 16h

If your reasoning for not wanting to date bisexuals is based solely on the fact that they’re bisexual then yes it is bud

8

Anonymous #2 16h

Les4les for the sake of “gold star” bullshit? Misogynist and biphobic. But there are other reasons.

13

Anonymous #3 16h

additionally, straight women are the majority and bi men the minority. straight women don’t lose anything by being with a bi men, they’ve never felt isolated for being with men. if anything, i’d argue they share more in common with bi men than straight men because of how much the patriarchy/misogyny affects both.

10

Anonymous #5 15h

Too fucking many

6

Anonymous #5 13h

This is literally my first time ever posting on this yik yak😭😭😭

5

Anonymous #4 13h

Yes 100%

6

Anonymous #3 13h

I mean, personally I just don’t understand why you have to have a partner who has the exact same experience that you do. Do you think straight men and women have the same experience? Or interracial relationships? Of course not. I’m not personally mad about it, but I just do think it’s really stupid to limit yourself in such a way

9

Anonymous OP 13h

do you think this way about black people who choose to date other black people? being part of a marginalized community or minority group makes finding those who share those same experiences more meaningful to a lot of people. same goes for t4t because there are a lot of nuances with being these identities that might become frustrating to deal with alone that a partner who shares the same experience can comfort one with. it’s just reassuring to have someone who understands your identity fully.

9

Anonymous #3 13h

Well no honestly as a racial minority i don’t necessarily agree with flat out refusing to date someone just because they aren’t the same race as me. Having a type is fine but truth be told i think that writing someone off based on race is just you potentially screwing yourself out of finding a partner. I definitely understand why ppl would just be t4t tho

12

Anonymous OP 13h

i think you need to open your mind a bit more then if you can understand t4t but not les4les or black4black. also just because you think somebody is “screwing themselves over” doesn’t mean they agree. ik many people who are very happy that they are dating people who they can feel a deeper connection with because of their shared identities. lesbians don’t share any interest in men as non-men which is very rare and isolating. black people are the biggest victims of racism/slavery in the west etc.

4

Anonymous #3 12h

Are you trans?

1

Anonymous OP 12h

no, but i’ve dated trans women who have told me this lol. additionally, your mind set is kind of the same argument people use when they say “all lives matter” to counter the blm movement. i say this because it has a very narrow understanding of how things like race and misogyny affect people. “you shouldn’t exclude anyone cause we’re all equal” but that’s not entirely true. oppression shapes our lives in unique ways that sometimes we need other likes us to feel seen.

2

Anonymous #3 12h

Also one more question for context before I explain are you black?

0

Anonymous OP 12h

no but i am brown and triracial

7

Anonymous #3 12h

Ok. So don’t try and tell me about blm first of all lmao. Second of all your argument would have had a lotttt more credibility if you didn’t rope in the all lives matters shit because that’s not the same at all, and I adding that is so wildly disingenuous. I absolutely understand why somebody would want to be t4t because being trans is a very very very different experience than a sexuality or a race and that experience is so deeply entertained with your body and your experience in the world in

6

Anonymous #3 12h

A way that it’s much more difficult for cis people to understand than it is for someone to empathize and share a perspective on. Alternatively everyone has a racial experience and everyone has an experience with sexuality. Not everyone has the experience of being transgender and it’s very deeply separate. I have a very deep understanding of how race and sexuality impact people, but I don’t think you should seek out relationships with someone who will understand you completely and totally be

11

Anonymous OP 12h

Able to understand you because that is a fruitless pursuit. The only person who can truly understand you is yourself. But with stuff like sexuality and race those experiences can be learned about by a partner. If someone is emotionally intelligent and empathetic it not that difficult to learn about those experiences your partner may have and gain perspective.

9

Anonymous OP 12h

me when i intentionally miss the point so i can ignore the nuance of an example. did you even read why i said that? you’re using their exact same logic. you’re not understanding how our UNIQUE experiences with oppression might make us want to pursue people who ALSO share those experiences. i only brought that up because all lives matter people also think of everyone as being on equal footing completely ignoring how our different experiences affect us

0

Anonymous #4 12h

This discourse has been going on for much longer than that and was started by lesbians talking about how bi girls always use them and leave them for men

13

Anonymous OP 12h

okay, your turn, are you a lesbian?

-1

Anonymous #3 12h

Nope I am dating one tho, which is kinda how I know that you are able to gain perspective on things like race and sexuality

7

Anonymous #3 12h

It’s not using the exact same logic. I understand how things like race and sexuality impact people in different unique ways. But I think that completely closing yourself off to someone that you are compatible with based on their sexuality is a little phobic!

3

Anonymous OP 12h

i could say not everyone has the same experience with race, not everyone has the same experience with their sexuality. a hispanic, an asian, a black person all struggle with racism but on completely different fronts. it’s the same reason you acknowledge that i shouldn’t speak to you on the basis of blm as a non-black person because my experience with race is no where near your own. alternatively, lesbians don’t only deal with homophobia, but with a lack of interest in men in a patriarchy

5

Anonymous #3 12h

I’m not denying that people have different experiences and I’m really not sure where you’re getting this from tbh

1

Anonymous OP 12h

i’m not sure where you’re getting at. i think this discussion is further proving to me how little non-lesbians understand the lesbian experience. because being les4les has nothing to do with other people’s sexuality’s but instead our own.

0

Anonymous OP 12h

what if i don’t want someone to “learn” but to already understand and be able to relate to. why is that wrong?

0

Anonymous #3 12h

I’m literally dating a lesbian 😭😭😭😭 we have been together for years and we talk a lot about sexuality and just yk everything. I have grown to have a pretty good perspective on the lesbian experience😭😭

6

Anonymous #3 12h

It’s just very close minded. Like I think it would be weird if white people didn’t want to date anyone other than white people because they didn’t want to “learn”

6

Anonymous OP 12h

yet you continuously fail to understand how A LOT of other lesbians feel isolated in their lack of interest in men.

2

Anonymous #3 12h

I don’t tho. I very much understand that.

1

Anonymous OP 12h

white people are not oppressed so why should they need to find people whom they can “relate to” on the basis of race 😭 we’re talking about MARGINALIZED identities

2

Anonymous OP 12h

your previous comments say otherwise. like idk what you want me to say.

3

Anonymous #3 12h

Where did I say that I don’t understand that? Black people have a very isolating experience growing up in predominantly white areas. That doesn’t mean we should just act like white people can never ever understand us and that we shouldn’t be with them. I just think you are not able to be open minded on this and that’s fine like you can do that if you want it’s not necessary morally wrong

1

Anonymous OP 12h

this is ironic because i think you’re the one who struggles open mindedness. i NEVER said people from other identities can’t understand on the surface. but they will never actually FEEL it to fully understand. if multiple marginalized communities are telling you they prefer to date people whom they have shared oppression with there is clearly a reason. i don’t think this is really going anywhere ngl

3

Anonymous #3 12h

You’re very right about this not going anywhere lol you have not listened to a minority telling you that if you need someone to have the exact same life experiences to be able to get into a relationship with them that’s fine it’s just an objectively close minded way to go about dating.

6

Anonymous OP 12h

this is honestly becoming spam. i don’t mind continuing the conversation if you reallyyy wanna try to understand but i’d prefer if we discussed in dms. it’s okay if not tho, let’s just agree to disagree otherwise.

-2

Anonymous OP 12h

i’m a minority too 🥲 i’m not black but i AM brown. and a lesbian. you skipped over that part i think

7

Anonymous #3 12h

I mean i understand where you are coming from fully lol, it’s just that you can’t comprehend why people would think in ways less restrictive

5

Anonymous #3 12h

Why do you think I skipped over that? Just curious. Bc I saw it and factored it into the way that I responded.

5

Anonymous OP 12h

cause you just emphasized that i’m not listening to a minority when i am also a minority so i don’t really understand how that changes anything?

-2

Anonymous #3 12h

I emphasized that because you were trying to weaponize th fact that “I’m not listening to groups of minorities” so I was helpfully reminding you I am in fact a minority

4

Anonymous OP 12h

i don’t think you fully do unfortunately

-3

Anonymous OP 12h

because why aren’t you listening to minority voices and instead arguing against them. just because you’re a minority doesn’t mean you cancel out their experiences

-3

Anonymous #3 11h

Girl I could literally say the exact same thing to you and that was my point. This convo is not going to continue any longer

6

Anonymous #3 11h

Bold from you when your perspective is quite literally restricting the variety of people you can date?

15

Anonymous #2 11h

you’re being purposefully obtuse. it’s not about restricting other people, it’s about finding people similar.

-3

Anonymous #3 11h

So if you meet someone who ticks every box for you except that they’re bisexual, and you just wouldn’t date them because of that, that’s not restricting you?

12

Anonymous #2 11h

well i’m not les4les, but most les4les would say there are exceptions. it’s a preference, not a requirement.

-3

Anonymous #3 11h

Okay cool so you do understand the point then! Refusing to even consider people that don’t have the same sexuality as you is not just a preference.

11

Anonymous #3 11h

So they aren’t actually les4les😭😭😭😭 goodbye bro

6

Anonymous #2 11h

but les4les is a preference.

-3

Anonymous #3 11h

It’s no way you did all that arguing just to fold lmao

15

Anonymous #3 11h

Buddy. Some for some les4les people it is just a preference. For others it is a hard rule and they will treat bi people differently. Those are the ones this discourse is and always has been talking about.

8

Anonymous #2 11h

OMFG thank you bro

7

Anonymous #2 11h

it’s disingenuous to use actual biphobic people to claim that les4les is inherently biphobic. it’s wrongfully generalizing all les4les when i have explained why most of them are les4les

-2

Anonymous #3 11h

I never said that bro in my original fucking post I deadass said “lesbians who REFUSE to date bi women” like please actually read a post before you argue over it for an hour

10

Anonymous OP 11h

because even after i explained why les4les are les4les you still argued how they’re close minded and should just have their partners learn their experience 😭 you weren’t listening to me either

-3

Anonymous #3 11h

I was and always will be talking about people who genuinely refuse to date someone bisexual. I don’t know why this has been so hard for you to grasp

7

Anonymous OP 11h

if you wanna keep willfully ignoring the lesbian community go ahead lol. this is just another reason a lot of lesbians will continue to be les4les because of people who can’t grasp our experiences even after countless attempts of explanation. i’m not even les4les but this isn’t gonna go anywhere and people will continue to be les4les until we don’t feel isolated from every other community.

-1

Anonymous #3 11h

I’m a lesbian and I want you to know i understood exactly what OP meant. And as someone who has the unique experience of being a lesbian, if i literally refused to date bi women because “they don’t understand” that is biphobia

3

Anonymous #3 11h

Oh please don’t start acting like this girl is shitting on the lesbian community when she’s literally not. Grow tf up.

4

Anonymous OP 11h

again, you still mentioned earlier that people should just date people and have them learn their experience if they’re truly open minded. so i don’t think you’re being fully genuine rn.

-2

Anonymous #3 11h

You aren’t fully genuine either girl now you trying to use the experience of biphobia that bi women experience from some lesbians as fucking pushing away lesbians

2

Anonymous OP 11h

wait so does this mean you’re cool with les4les aside from lesbians who use it as a shield for biphobia?

6

Anonymous #3 11h

It’s really interesting that you keep ignoring me

-1

Anonymous #7 9h

If you think that’s what this is you’re not very quick on the uptake

8