LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | I’ve seen so many people saying we need a lesbian grindr, which I agree would be so fun. But I thought about the only reason grindr works. Because women respect men, men wouldn’t stay off an app built for women. That’s so sad to me

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I’ve seen so many people saying we need a lesbian grindr, which I agree would be so fun. But I thought about the only reason grindr works. Because women respect men, men wouldn’t stay off an app built for women. That’s so sad to me

1405

Anonymous 22h

Even Grindr is filled with “straight” men who just want to exploit other men for the own sexual gratification. Whether it be their wives not giving them any or whatever, they run rampant on Grindr. Men are gross, and I’m a man.

634

Anonymous 22h

My friend thinks there should be a Grindr for straight people and I have to keep telling them that’s a recipe for a murder case

165

Anonymous 22h

i haven’t never thought of it like that before 🥺

149

Anonymous 22h

Women get on Grindr too for the record

Anonymous 22h

Yeah no the amount of women on grinder is ridiculous. I’d love if they could get off and go to another app

Anonymous 22h

There is an app similar for lesbian and queer women called “Her” but you run do in fact run into men occasionally

Anonymous 22h

That’s a very solvable problem though. Robust blocking/reporting/filtering systems have existed for a long time. There isn’t a lesbian Grindr because women respect themselves more than men do tbh

Anonymous 22h

I think it would work if it was like invite only, which sounds weird and like kind of nuts, but like all u would have to do is find another lesbian, and ask that lesbian to vouch for u that u are in fact a lesbian. like “yea dw abt sara, she’s aight”

Anonymous 21h

Hear me out: an Asexual grindr

Anonymous 18h

trueee but if it ever does exist in the future, it should be called "scissr" pls it would be so good

Anonymous 21h

hey! there’s Her, Zoe, and Bindr that accommodate for specifically women/sapphic ppl. I will say I didn’t find success on there but did find my gf on bumble(I was looking for long term, but lots of women on Her or Zoe were looking for hookups, if that’s the aspect of grindr you’re looking for)

Anonymous 22h

The closest to a Lesbian Grindr is HER, but I’ve seen cis men on there from seeing my former friend using it.

Anonymous 22h

I’m a woman and I’ve anonymously logged into grindr just to see it once but I didn’t text anyone back

Anonymous 20h

Tbf spend any time on Grindr and there’s a lot of women on there too, I used to have it and there was like at least one woman to every 3-4 guys I found on there

Anonymous 22h

we actually don’t need more Grindr for anyone

Anonymous 19h

Unfortunately thats just HER. 75% of the people arent gay and instead are couples looking for a third, catfishes, or “bisexual” girls looking to cheat on their boyfriends

Anonymous 17h

Shit I took a nap and feel like I missed out on my own convo 😭 Seen a lot of people mentioning Her, I thought that app was for more long term? I’ve had friends use it tho and it has a lot of men and couples looking for a third tho

Anonymous 17h

The average Grindr experience consists of talking to an anonymous, faceless profile for 30 seconds before meeting them in the woods at night for sex. I don’t think very many women would be down for that.

Anonymous 17h

Grindr is for all lgbt as far as I know. But i understand why a woman wouldn’t want to be on there nonetheless

Anonymous 21h

wait walk with me

Anonymous 21h

I've got to be so incredibly stupid to not know Grindr was a dating app ...

Anonymous 16h

men don’t even respect men😭. as a trans man i can’t tell you the amount of times ive been harassed on grindr

Anonymous 17h

Actually ive seen plenty of cis women join the app but most are there for drugs

Anonymous 17h

I imagine there would be so many people that are looking for a unicorn. I don’t have Tinder anymore, but so many girls I would swipe right on would DM me with “hey, I actually have a bf and this account is both of us looking for a third”. I guess it would be easier if you could report unicorn hunters and men to the app and then an employee looks over the dms to confirm and go “yep, they’re getting banned”

Anonymous 17h

Actually i see women (cis and trans but trans women can opt in or out ig) on grinder from time to time

Anonymous 12h

Yeah and it would be littered with the same shit tinder and hinge is: couples looking for a third. So disrespectful and annoying when you want to find a real connection with ONE other woman and you’re constantly degraded to some sex toy to spice up some ugly ass straight people’s boring sex life. First of all, lesbians don’t like dick and never will. So why tf do they think we will agree to being with some ugly ass man. Nah, but we should still try to make these things. Men’s issues are not ours

Anonymous 21h

If the gay guys want equality.. I think lesbians and straights should have their own type of Grindr. Yea it’s a questionable app. But hey, we all need to show respect when it’s due 🤷‍♂️.

Anonymous 17h

Lex is hit or miss for this

Anonymous 16h

in theory you'd be able to sort by gender, so maybe it would be fine? i also know of apps where you can only join if you are a woman (with face/ID verification).

Anonymous

#3 22h

also, is that not just like, tinder?😭😭

177

Anonymous

#4 22h

Ok so no Grindr you see like 20ish profiles and you can message all of them there is no swiping and they can all message you

Anonymous

#2 22h

ohh ok makes more sense

Anonymous

#4 22h

And they are in order of closest to furthest and then you have filters like age and stuff like that but for them most part you get a lot of old guys on Grindr

Anonymous

#5 22h

It’s sadly the best Queer app for many, many areas. We don’t really have many other options.

Anonymous

#6 22h

I immediately block anyone who is “DL”… too much risk and danger in those situations…

230

Anonymous

#8 22h

This feels kind of slut shamey

Anonymous

#3 22h

Because it is

Anonymous

#2 22h

It’s not about the hooking up, it’s about the kinds of interactions you have. Women don’t really put up with creepy behavior the way men do. Part of that is because the risk profile is very different for women than it is for men, but it’s also because women respect themselves enough to leave an environment that makes them feel objectified and uncomfortable

Anonymous

#8 22h

Then why are people saying there needs to be a lesbian Grindr? You do you but you should also recognize that other people exist that feel differently than you so many that they want an app to meet like minded individuals.

Anonymous

#2 22h

Because you think it’ll be something that it just won’t be. If you really want it, that’s great, go build it. But there’s a reason it’s never been successfully done

Anonymous

#2 22h

I think what op is saying is that it’s not as much of a problem as men going on apps that are meant for women. There’s a respect that should go both ways, but it’s more understood by one group more than the other

112

Anonymous

#6 21h

🎯

Anonymous

#15 21h

Is tinder not straight grindr? (Asking as someone who has never used it before)

Anonymous

#15 21h

Tinder is basically cishet Grindr, haha. If you’re Queer on there, good luck.

Anonymous

#15 21h

Tinder is more of a long term environment and Grindr is usually more hookup culture but not limited to that.

Anonymous

#5 21h

Eh, most of the people I see on Tinder are only in for short term or fun, but that may differ a lot by age and region.

Anonymous

#7 21h

I was gonna say I’ve only ever heard of tinder being for hookups but grindr can be a barber pharmacy hookup or uber if u use it right and I think that’s more what ppl are looking for

Anonymous

#16 21h

Oh, if only!! 😩😩

Anonymous

#8 21h

You clearly haven’t met a lot of women if you think they won’t let themselves be objectified or made uncomfortable

Anonymous

#7 21h

yea dl men are usually the spreaders

Anonymous

#15 21h

Grindr certainly has quite a breadth of use, it’s lowkey fascinating at times.

Anonymous

#7 21h

LIKEEEE the girls deserve Grindr

Anonymous

#7 21h

I like getting my fix, without the commitment at times. Everybody deserves that free will 🫢💀

Anonymous

#16 21h

Unfortunately it would be infiltrated by people who think they can “fix” asexuals 😔✌️

Anonymous

#19 21h

It’s more than that!

Anonymous

#13 21h

Sadly. 😔

Anonymous

#16 21h

There’s an app called acespace! I haven’t tried it out yet because I’m in an “it’s complicated” stage but it looks good!

Anonymous

#20 20h

Checking it out now, thanks!

Anonymous

#21 20h

They may have been trans women. And of course in this theoretical, they would be welcome to this app, but 1) not all trans women are lesbians and 2), if it isn’t super clear, lesbians don’t like men. Grindr is not a feasible place for wlw people to go as that is not the intention of that app and not who it is geared towards.

-11

Anonymous

#15 20h

There were some trans women yes but there were also some cis women, listen as such in their profile anyway. And I don’t mean as a place to find other women, according to their profiles they were using it to find men, that’s my point. Tho I do still agree with the original point of the post that men especially wouldn’t stay off an app for lesbians, to a more excessive degree

Anonymous

#21 20h

Grindr is sadly the best app in my area to meet other Queer people and bi/pan guys to try and date. It’s rough as a (Trans) woman on there, though. 🫠

Anonymous

#7 20h

I’m sure :( t guy from tx here, sending hugs queen xx

Anonymous

#6 20h

If they’re straight men then they wouldn’t have sex with men…? That sounds like gay sex? Which is what grindr is for? What’s the problem here

-18

Anonymous

#22 19h

they won’t accept that they aren’t straight

Anonymous

#22 19h

thats why they put "straight" in air quotes, they mean guys who claim to be straight but arent. the problem is theyre cowards and liars lol

Anonymous

desperatetransgirl 19h

Unfortunately that’s the same as on Grindr lmao

Anonymous

#24 18h

“Hey do you-“ *grinds fists together* “or-“ *scissors with fingers*

Anonymous

#20 18h

Then that leads to a 3rd app called rock paper scissors where it’s just a queer only app rocks are gays and mlm paper is bi or pan and scissors are lesbians or wlw

Anonymous

#24 18h

I love all of this in this thread so much, ive found my ppl

Anonymous

#2 18h

This implies that the gays are fighting the lesbians for the bi/pan ppl, the lesbians want the the bi ppl, and the bi ppl don’t want the gays despite the gays fighting the lesbians for said bi ppl 😭😭😭 that was confusing to write

Anonymous

#20 18h

YES LINK THE LESBIANS

Anonymous

#25 17h

Yessss I’ve had this happen and so many friends too. I feel like an app for finding a unicorn is its own issue but they shouldn’t be going into sapphic spaces with a boyfriend

Anonymous

#31 16h

Sadly there’s a lot of transphobia in those spheres 😔

Anonymous

#6 16h

🎯

Anonymous

#19 16h

Grindr is a many things app normally hookups but sometimes you find love or life long friendships and sometimes you just chat with a fellow gay and make small talk. But most of the time you talk to people who want you inside of them or to be inside of you

Anonymous

#29 16h

I’ve used Grindr for years and never hooked up I mainly use it to talk to my local community of gays and tell people they have cute hair or good outfits. Grindr is what you make of it and Madonna made it a concert venue

Anonymous

#34 12h

i mean some lesbians like trans women but yea

Anonymous

#32 12h

Most lesbians I’ve ever met are very inclusive and supportive. Only the misogynistic ones aren’t.

Anonymous

#34 12h

you’re right abt not wanting to be a third but it’s weird to tell someone what they are and aren’t allowed to like. lesbians can like trans women or intersex women with male genitalia. that said, and this isn’t anywhere near the same issue but to make it clear, lesbians can like trans men or strap too. you are not the pussy police, stop acting like it 💋

Anonymous

#2 12h

Ngl I lowkey thought it was a porn sight. I'm almost 100% certain it's because of the name 🤦

Anonymous

#19 12h

It’s basically a hookup app but I’ve never used it to hookup

Anonymous

#12 11h

Or couples looking for a third

Anonymous

#35 10h

That really pisses me off

Anonymous

#15 10h

No, lesbians CANT like dick. Let me make that very clear. Stop disrespecting an entire identity and check yourself. You don’t get to tell lesbians what they like. It has always been know lesbians don’t like dick. If they do, they’re not a lesbian. Get tf over it. Lesbophobic asshole. Respect our spaces or you’re not welcome. This is pride month, too. Respect lesbians. They don’t like dick. End of story.

-3

Anonymous

#15 10h

A strap on is not a dick. Like we tell straight men constantly. Ignorant fuck

Anonymous

#32 10h

If they have a dick, thats a bi women. But yea.

-4

Anonymous

#34 10h

the definition of a lesbian is literally a woman who likes women. trans women are women. stop policing OTHER people’s identities. you can be a lesbian who doesn’t like dick, and that’s perfectly fine. it’s not transphobic to have a genital preference. but it IS transphobic to tell lesbians that they are not lesbians simply because they would date a trans woman. “you don’t get to tell lesbians what they like” and that’s exactly what the fuck you are doing.

Anonymous

#5 10h

genuinely not here to play Gendered Power Imbalance Denier, but I do feel like this is evidence that the “women respect men, they wouldn’t take up space on an app for men the way that men would on an app for women” claim isn’t totally accurate

Anonymous

#36 10h

except grindr isn’t an app made only for men. it’s an app for queer people. it’s true that there’s mostly gay men on it but that’s not only who it was made for. not the same thing as men intruding on an app explicitly made for lesbian women

-1

Anonymous

#32 10h

the wikipedia page begs to differ

-2

Anonymous

#32 9h

also confirmed by a TechCrunch article from the day the app originally dropped

-1

Anonymous

#36 9h

Grindr’s own app description begs to differ.

Anonymous

#7 9h

yeah, the present-day description. obviously they updated the whole gimmick to be more broadly-inclusive after over a decade of userbase expansion? that’s why I was sourcing quotes from the time of its creation please note that I am specifically replying to a comment which reads “grindr isn’t an app made only for men”. it was in fact originally Made For Gay Men

Anonymous

#7 9h

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that they’re LGBTQ-oriented in a more general sense at this point, tbc. but they really could not have been much more explicit about the fact that it was intended as a cruising app for gay men. let’s not get ahistorical with it just for the sake of internet argument points

Anonymous

#6 27m

holy fuck it’s so bad for this in Detroit

Anonymous

#3 26m

that being said, if you’re ever in the uk, go dogging