LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | I have a trans friend that guilts me about being attractive and idk what to do about it. She puts 0 effort into her appearance then complains that its rigged that I’m natural pretty and it kinda pmo.

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LGBTQIA+ 4w

I have a trans friend that guilts me about being attractive and idk what to do about it. She puts 0 effort into her appearance then complains that its rigged that I’m natural pretty and it kinda pmo.

Anonymous 4w

either call her out on it or cut your losses. just because she is insecure about how she looks does not mean she can take it out on you

Anonymous 4w

i think i'm confused... like what?

Anonymous 4w

I’m sorry :( it sounds like she’s projecting her insecurities onto you and that’s not right, but it is understandable. Maybe you guys could hang out and have a little makeover moment together (like doing hair/nails/make up together sleepover style)? Tbh it’s hard, if you never grew up doing things like makeup, to learn it as an adult - everyone else had their awkward makeup phases as kids so it can be embarrassing to try to learn it so publicly when you’re grown

Anonymous 4w

if it was me i’d tell her to stop complaining about something out of MY control or else we won’t be friends.

Anonymous 4w

Cut her off..

Anonymous 4w

I absolutely cannot stand when people do this i'm right there with you

Anonymous

#1 4w

idk she like complains that i have it super easy cause im cis and just wake up beautiful but like idk man i spend hrs doing hair and make up while she does nothing then is like its unfair how ugly i am

Anonymous

OP 4w

it honestly just gets tiring cause its all the time

Anonymous

OP 4w

ahhhh okay yeah i get it now i was just a lil confused at first but yeah i agree that's weird and that's not a good friend

Anonymous

OP 4w

it sounds pretty clearly like the thing she’s complaining about is that a cis woman’s unaltered appearance is more in line with the beauty standards for women than a trans woman’s unaltered appearance usually is. as in, do you have to shave every day just to be interpreted as a woman? I would presume not. you’re not obligated to be her friend but you also don’t have to take her venting as a personal slight or take shots at her for what you perceive as a lack of effort!

Anonymous

#7 4w

That learning gap might even be part of what she’s insecure about with you lowk. Obv you don’t have to stay friends with her, if you don’t want to. (Think about your friendship as a whole) And obv, many women don’t like to wear make up/do their hair. But it could be a good olive branch if you want her to stop talking like that, without directly confronting her about it

Anonymous

#4 4w

But to complain in that manner is rude. “I wish I didn’t have to do xyz to be pretty” is much different than “you have it so much easier than me, you don’t have to do anything to be pretty!”