if you’re not in a situation where you can ask, technically either are acceptable, but honestly most trans people (ime) would prefer that you assume and use she/her rather than get they/themmed. getting they/themmed often feels like being told “i know you’re trans but don’t care enough to try and be affirming.”

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you can ask

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she her imo

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as a trans woman, she/her, its one of the most validating things in the world when ppl get your pronouns right without you telling them

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