LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | Sexual and romantic orientation are two different things.

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LGBTQIA+ 22h

Sexual and romantic orientation are two different things.

LGBTQIA+ 1d

“I’m bisexual but I’d never date a woman.” STOP RUINING IT FOR THE REST OF US!!!

439

Anonymous 22h

That post has so many upvotes too… You can be bisexual and never want to date one of the genders you’re attracted to.

Anonymous 20h

I’m bisexual homoromantic yeah I’d fuck a guy but I’d never date one

Anonymous 19h

I agree fully, however I think many people are uneducated on the fact that romantic attraction and sexual attraction aren’t the same thing and don’t go hand in hand. Majority of people think that it must be the same for everyone when in reality it’s not and it’s much more complicated bc people are complex.

Anonymous 16h

people keep forgetting that attraction ≠ wanting to date someone

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Anonymous 16h

are we sure this isn’t just fetishizing

Anonymous 17h

these people are exactly why i don't feel comfortable calling myself bi. i can fall in love with a woman (or at least i have once and in theory still can) but am very much homosexual. i just call myself queer most the time, cause i don't wanna go down the rabbit hole of explaining the split attraction model and kinsey scale (cause those are the best at helping me describe myself PERSONALLY, not because they are the end-all be-all of defining queerness)

🏴‍☠️

Anonymous 12h

Bisexual hate is crazy.

Anonymous 17h

I'm not woke enough for this if you say you're bi yet refuse to date the same gender or have any relations with them then you're not. You just can't accept being straight

Anonymous 13h

i did not know that

Anonymous 9h

As a bisexual I hope I never run into you fake bisexuals who only see women as sex objects

-1

Anonymous

#3 19h

Me too

Anonymous

#1 17h

Well yeah cuz it’s saying it in the weirdest fucking way. “I’m bisexual but WOMEN ARE ICKY ID NEVER DATE THEM!” vs “I’m bisexual but I couldn’t date a woman because I’m not romantically attracted to women” lol

Anonymous

#7 16h

It’s not necessarily refusing to have *any* relations. The split attraction model mostly started in aro/ace communities but it describes a real and observed difference in sexual and romantic preferences. For example, I do not find women sexually attractive at all, but I would be open to having a romantic relationship with a woman. I otherwise consider myself bisexual

Anonymous

#7 16h

If you’re attracted to multiple genders, you’re bi. You can’t just say someone who is attracted to multiple genders is straight, because they don’t date one of the genders they’re attracted to. They’re still bi

Anonymous

#7 16h

There’s people who are bisexual and homoromantic or heteromantic

Anonymous

#9 16h

Aro spec people are not “just fetishizing”…

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Anonymous

#1 16h

i’m not woke enough can u explain what that is. i’m a lesbian for reference i suppose

Anonymous

#1 16h

Gonna say no on that one, bi is bi not mono

-3

Anonymous

#7 16h

romantic and sexual orientation are two different things

Anonymous

#9 16h

Bisexual people who fall on the aromantic spectrum might only be romantically attracted to one gender, or no genders, or experience their attraction differently, but they’re still bisexual. You can be aro without being ace, and sexual attraction as an aro person is not suddenly fetishization, it’s (usually) just regular sexual attraction

Anonymous

#10 16h

Bi is bi. If they’re attracted to multiple genders, they’re bi. Who you date doesn’t suddenly change that attraction

Anonymous

#1 16h

Literally. I’m bi but would likely not ever date a man (besides the fact that I’m dating the person I intend to marry and they’re my first partner) because I have too many issues trusting them in general. (Obviously not all men and all that.)

Anonymous

#8 16h

You know what I fw that! I've just seen a lot of folks try to say they're bi when they have no attraction nor desire to be with anyone else other than than a different gender and it makes no sense

Anonymous

#11 15h

Right but I just don't get it. #9 had a point about it being fetishizing and seeming like the "i'd kiss a girl/guy but never date one" which then continues the perception of bi people being hos or fast or promiscuous or whatever word you wanna use. And lowkey the whole aro and ace thing I also am not woke enough to get

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Anonymous

#1 15h

i understand some people may be like that but in my personal life most bi people i know would never be with a girl and always end up marrying a man in a straight cis relationship. it gives performative

Anonymous

#7 12h

What do u not get about the aro/ace thing? Some ppl have no interest in dating or marriage but still like sex it doesn’t mean they’re easy and sleeping with anyone who says something nice they’re just like most ppl and want sex. They’re aro but not ace. Some ppl have no interest in fucking but still want to have romance in marriage. They’re not prudes or puritans they just don’t particularly want that. They’re ace but not aro. It’s not woke it’s just acknowledging that love and sex is 1/2

Anonymous

#7 12h

Is complicated. There’s a difference between fetishization and identity. Someone wanting sex with no intention of dating is not inherently fetishization. 2/2

Anonymous

OP 11h

I appreciate your nuanced takes on all this, thank you

Anonymous

#7 9h

What are you “not woke enough” to get about “the whole aro and ace thing”? Aromantic people don’t experience romantic attraction in some form, and asexual people don’t experience sexual attraction in some form

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Anonymous

#1 9h

when i said it i genuinely didn’t know what that was short for

Anonymous

#16 8h

You look very ignorant right now.

Anonymous

#9 7h

I was replying to 7

Anonymous

OP 7h

Idec what’s the point of saying you’re attracted to women if you genuinely never plan on doing anything. And I never see this discourse around men. It’s always dick centered women trying to appropriate labels to seem interesting

-2

Anonymous

#16 35m

it's a whole bit in the queer community that bisexuals are attracted to every women ever but men are bad and they could maybe hypothetically be attracted to one man (who will likely be a celebrity crush)