Anonymous #2 12h

im personally open to either kind of relationship but not immediately willing to jump to sole monogamy with someone without a conversation about it first, and theres really no good way to indicate that on dating profiles 😭 like yes im perfectly willing to be in a monogamous relationship but i would not want to date someone who tries to define rules and boundaries without mutual agreement on what they are

23

Anonymous #3 12h

like soooo many people's idea of monogamy is going on a date with someone and then NEVER seeing anyone else until they establish that it's not going to work out, or immediately considering sole partnership an expectation without ever talking about it after establishing that you're in a relationship. some people think cuddling with a friend platonically is cheating or inherently romantic. like i dont want to be held to some expectation i never agreed to

19

Anonymous #6 12h

YES ABSOLUTELY

5

Anonymous #3 12h

Yeah I feel like a guy I hung out with once thinks we’re in a relationship and I’m not poly by any means but I’m also not going to stop seeing other people without a conversation

8

Anonymous #4 12h

Which do you have?

1

Anonymous #7 12h

Felt

5

Anonymous #9 11h

or it's just like what is the point because it's never going to go anywhere with security. People in open relationships can still develop emotional bonds with multiple people in addition to sex but like are they going to marry one of them and have an open marriage with the other gf?? don't understand it

3

Anonymous #10 11h

Same as a solo polyamorous person and I’m bisexual I go to dating that meant for the LGBTQ cause when they’re meant for the LGBTQ they actually have categories for everything

12

Anonymous #10 11h

out of curiosity, why did you avoid the couples on these apps if you ended up being the couple? like were you always poly? bc you'd assume if you are okay dating other people alongside your current partner that you would have been interested in dating a couple too

5

Anonymous #6 11h

no hate at all i'm at just genuinely curious

6

Anonymous #6 11h

maybe you wouldn’t feel secure in a polyamorous relationship because you’re not polyamorous..

6

Anonymous #2 11h

i don't mean emotionally i mean by means of survival and things. like joint bank accounts and such

5

Anonymous #6 11h

So for me a lot of it is a fetish I am bisexual and since I’m polyamorous in two different ways as in the BDSM community and out side of that it gets creepy and disgusting because a lot of people start showing their fetishes and since I am a black woman who’s also a pagan witch and a metal goth lot of them has a fetish for that

15

Anonymous #6 11h

oh that’s a fair point, but that’s just because our society is geared towards lifelong monogamous relationships. there are some legal things you can do like prenups and contracts if they’re worried abt that

1

Anonymous #6 11h

I have dealt with too many of them saying they never been with a black woman they had never been with a golf they had never been with a pagan, which they have never been with someone like me, and it turns into a fetish and also since I am women only outside of the BDSM community is always the other bisexual women with boyfriends that fetish them dating women or being sexually active with women

6

Anonymous #5 11h

so it was like a find a partner you trust first and then find additional partners? like you know you have at least one person that is not fetishizing you first?

10

Anonymous #6 11h

Pretty much it’s building from real love and connection and not just for some fetish they want to try out

8

Anonymous #9 11h

open relationships can be fwb but this is a strange generalization to make, it sounds like you have a juvenile perception of open relationships as a person who’s not in the group who wants them

1

Anonymous #11 11h

2 tabs so to speak on one app they can switch between

1

Anonymous #11 10h

just let people check multiple

1