LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | I wish nonbinary people would stop calling themselves amab/afab in context that don’t need medical information

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LGBTQIA+ 2w

I wish nonbinary people would stop calling themselves amab/afab in context that don’t need medical information

223

Anonymous 2w

I agree as a nonbinary person. Agab language fails to be descriptive because it makes assumptions about people’s bodies which aren’t necessarily true/ consistent with what they are trying to imply by using them. If we are trying to talk about people with the same body features- we should talk about those features specifically instead of assuming that everyone has one.

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Anonymous 2w

Like why are you posting a selfie saying “I’m afab non-binary” why does what the doctor said about you genitals at birth need to be known. YOURE NONBINARY

Anonymous 2w

I call my self AMAB and genderfluid. Sometimes genderqueer. Sometimes GNC. Usually 60-70 percent dude but I’m fruity af? Bad at gender. Im NB. And like.. I can be a guy and NB. Like it’s all a spectrum and words fail to describe it fully usually. So people find what works for them. Labels are hard. I just say whatever I feel communicates what I am for folks. It’s not that deep. Others can describe themselves how feels right for them and I do the same.

Anonymous 2w

I’m genderfluid and trans. I call myself AMAB sometimes for multiple reasons. For example, I identify as queer. Why? Because even though I’m a woman who’s attracted to men, my experience is one of someone who was born male and found out they like other males. I also use AMAB when referring to myself because I haven’t gone through any medical transitioning yet. Which means I might have more privilege than a trans woman who has transitioned.

Anonymous 2w

idc what other people call themselves as long as they don’t call me by my agab. that shit pmo

Anonymous 2w

Sometimes people do mention their sex AB because its relevant to a problem theyre facing. AMAB nonbinary people often have more trouble being respected as androgynous because they were born with “male” features and i think they are allowed to mention that

❤️‍🔥

Anonymous 2w

i prefer saying im transfem nonbinary. i guess some people are more comfortable using their agab as a part of their identity? i dunno, but i think there are tons of ways nonbinary people can present ourselves, and i shouldnt judge anyone for how they do it

Anonymous 2w

Why does it matter to you what other people use to refer to themselves?

Anonymous 2w

Thank you, I needed to hear this.

Anonymous 2w

i say i’m afab to other transmascs bc i want them to know i relate 😭

Anonymous 2w

Why does it matter what other people call THEMSELVES? Don’t call me my agab, but if your agab is a part of your identity that you connect with and are okay with sharing, go for it

Anonymous

#1 2w

This especially. People talk about like “afab bodies” or “afab people have periods” or “afab people can get pregnant.” When like all of them can. Why not just say “people with breasts” if we’re talking about breast cancer, or “people who have periods”

Anonymous

#1 2w

fr and it perpetuates transphobia… i’ve had other nonbinary people tell me “i just tell people so they know i have a v*g”, like ok girl but when people think afab nonbinary = vagina they’re gonna be shocked when i show up with a penis. so. let’s cool it on associating ASAB with genitalia.

Anonymous

#2 2w

That’s such a weird thing for them to say.

Anonymous

OP 2w

it is but unfortunately it’s pretty normalized in our community rn and people act like you’re crazy if you push back at all

Anonymous

#3 2w

because it perpetuates transphobia… people can call themselves whatever they want but that doesn’t mean they’re immune from criticism. identity isn’t a get out jail free card.

Anonymous

#3 2w

“identifying” as one’s ASAB is philosophically problematic—problematic in the “generative of problems” sense, not the cancel culture sense. we define being cis as identifying with one’s ASAB, so if that’s what’s happening, while as stating they’re nonbinary… that’s problematic. if they’re sharing their ASAB as shorthand for their genitalia or lived experiences, again, problematic. ASAB ≠ adult genitalia (see: trans and intersex people), and lived experiences vary widely.

Anonymous

#3 2w

Because it makes people continue to think about nonbinary people as either male or female when nonbinary people want to break out of that system

Anonymous

OP 2w

I feel like the people using these terms aren’t who we should have an issue with. Some nb ppl still have some connection to their agab. I think theres nothing wrong with that

Anonymous

#3 2w

Then say you’re female, or that you connect with being female. “I am assigned female at birth” is a weird thing to say “I’m nonbinary and female/ I’m nonbinary and was assigned female at birth, and feel connected to womanhood”

Anonymous

#4 2w

Okay cool but amab does not mean guy

Anonymous

OP 2w

Fair. I’m figuring myself out.

Anonymous

#4 2w

You could say you’re a guy and nonbinary or demiboy maybe if that fits you?

Anonymous

OP 2w

Maybe. But then demiboy feels like I’m appropriating from transmasc people?

Anonymous

#4 2w

Demiboy just means part boy :)

Anonymous

OP 2w

Makes sense. But the second part kind of sounds the same as the first. Maybe im misunderstanding

Anonymous

#3 2w

Because more often than not they assume that I’m cool with it too.

Anonymous

#10 2w

why is being afab relevant if you’re a transmasc speaking to other transmascs… like being transmasc is a much more specific experience (afab also includes cis women etc)

Anonymous

#11 2w

it was never seen as a bad thing to talk about our agab where i’m from. i’m from a rural area so maybe it’s different in other places? plus i always thought saying im transmasc made it obvious that im afab anyway. it’s not something i’m really ashamed of. i get some people might not feel the same and that’s totally okay for them

Anonymous

#11 2w

If that’s how you feel about yourself that’s fine. Just don’t refer to other trans people that way and expect them to be cool with it.

Anonymous

#1 2w

oh if someone corrects me i’m absolutely going to respect their wishes. this might take some learning on my part. i’m used to be one of very few trans people in a 100 mile radius so 😭 im still learning

Anonymous

#12 2w

Yes fr but like people shouldn’t pressure you