Anonymous #2 19h

How? The reasoning is that they don’t want to be with someone who has been with the gender they aren’t attracted to. You could argue that one comes more from a misogynistic/slutshaming perspective while one comes from homophobia but inherently they are both linked to a distrust/disliking/disgust of bisexual people.

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Anonymous #1 19h

Bro you know the problem isn’t that you want to date another lesbian it’s the way that many les4les people talk about bisexuals. If you don’t talk about how bisexual women aren’t actually queer or will always leave you for a man, then you aren’t included in this! But considering you felt personally offended enough to comment I think we both know what side you fall on💕

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Anonymous OP 19h

that’s not why they do that, coming from an adamant hater of gold-star lesbians. and it’s not about distrust, it’s about solidarity in a shared identity. I’d probs be bi4bi (& nb4nb) since I’d prefer someone who inherently understands much of the way I feel attraction. it’s not slut shaming to get smth out of sharing an identity with your partner.

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Anonymous OP 19h

holy generalization😭. i’m allowed to comment, i didn’t say anything other than the fact that mutual understanding of attraction is important to me in a relationship. let’s just throw around words that have actual meanings because i said something and you want to assume. i don’t have anything against bi women, but i included my reasoning because it’s important to be noted. there’s a difference between indifference and bullying.

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Anonymous #2 19h

Yeah, it’s like t4t. Straight people being homophobic and not dating bi people is not the same as something like les4les or t4t which are minorities preferring to date other people with their specific shared experience. I’m sorry you’re getting downvoted for this

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Anonymous #3 19h

I’m sharing basic info on x4x relationships so I don’t mind, just means people are being dumb and refusing to see other people’s perspectives ig

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Anonymous #2 19h

It depends on the reasoning. If you’re a lesbian who refuses bi women because you assume they’ve been tainted by dick, or a straight women refusing bi men because you assume the same thing, that’s biphobic and in the straight woman’s case, homophobic as well

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Anonymous #4 19h

But if you’re les4les JUST because you crave the shared experience and identity, and it has nothing to do with viewing women who have sex with men as impure or lesser beings, that’s not biphobic

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Anonymous #4 18h

well, yeah. people can be assholes about anything, so I’m not saying les4les is inherently incapable of being weaponized. either overt generalization abt this is gonna be wrong

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Anonymous #4 18h

I mean yes, I think everyone here can agree on that. However that’s not what this post is. The OP says “…refusing to date a bisexual based solely on the fact that they're bi is in fact biphobic” and then doubled down in the comments when #2 specifically mentioned les4les

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Anonymous #3 18h

They did reply to 2’s comment but it kinda seems like they were just pointing out that les4les isn’t just about wanting a similar experience, because in many cases it’s actually biphobic, kinda like what I replied. I don’t see any other comments after they were corrected though so maybe now they understand not all les4les is for biphobic reasons? Hopefully

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Anonymous OP 17h

straight women are not an opressed minority on the basis of sexuality. lesbians are

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Anonymous #5 17h

None of that was about straight women being oppressed its about bisexuals. Nobody said lesbians weren’t oppressed

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Anonymous #3 17h

That is exactly what this post is. If your reasoning for not wanting to date someone is that they’re bisexual, then that is biphobic. If your reasoning is that you want to date someone with a similar experience, it’s not. Sorry that you’re feeling attacked but do not put words in my mouth

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Anonymous OP 17h

dawg im explaining to you why straight women not wanting to date bi men is biphobic while les4les isnt

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Anonymous #1 17h

If your sole reason for not wanting to date bi people is that they’re bi, that’s biphobic. If your reasoning is that you want to date someone with the same gender preference as you, it’s not. I’m not making generalizations lol

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Anonymous OP 17h

if I want to date someone more, that means I want to date other people less than that person/group. I don’t want to date non-NBs, does that make me binary-phobic? or does it mean I’d rather date someone who’s somewhat more compatible?

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Anonymous #5 17h

It’s a very similar thing though. In cases where they don’t want to date someone because they are bi, that is biphobic. Please elaborate to me how it is different.

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Anonymous OP 16h

sidenote, but “refusing to date” could mean so many things. for example: if a lesbian chose another lesbian over a bi person of the same qualities, would that make them biphobic in your eyes? I see people calling lesbians biphobia for doing that, and your post reads like you think the same. if not, feel free to clarify.

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Anonymous #2 16h

I’m not referring to every les4les person. But there is a group of (if not large) very loud les4les people that express a lot of biphobia around the subject. If your reasoning for not wanting to date a bi women is because they’ve been with men that’s misogynistic, and if it’s that they’re bisexual might date a man/leave you for a man that’s disgust/distrust. Doesn’t matter if you’re a lesbian or a straight woman not wanting to date someone because they’re bi is biphobia and should be called out

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Anonymous OP 16h

well, yeah. weaponizing your sexuality is wrong, and a lot of people do it. your post read very differently so thanks for clarifying lol

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Anonymous OP 16h

oppressed minority on basis of sexuality vs not that

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Anonymous #2 16h

If you start dating someone, and everything is going well and you like them, and you cut things off explicitly because they are bisexual, I would consider that biphobic yes. If you don’t want to date someone because they are nonbinary, that is based on their gender. Sexuality and gender are not the same thing.

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Anonymous #5 16h

You realize bisexuals are also an oppressed minority based off of sexuality right? This is like saying Hispanics can’t be racist to black people because they’re also oppressed

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Anonymous OP 16h

again im explaining the difference between straight women and les 4 les

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Anonymous OP 16h

well yeah that’s biphobic… maybe it’s because the queer people I know are just VERY in-community, but a queer person breaking up after finding out their partner is bi just sounds alien to me (unless they’re a gold star, those people are just bigots)

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Anonymous #2 16h

It’s a very common experience in places where being queer is already less common, and on WLW dating apps. I have had multiple lesbians unfollow me/stop seeing me because they found out I was bi.

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Anonymous #5 16h

Then you’re fully missing my point. Lesbians can still be biphobic. Explain to me why you seem to think they can’t be

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Anonymous OP 16h

where did i once say that lesbians cant be biphobic? please screenshot and/or quote it

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Anonymous #5 16h

I’m sorry, perhaps I’m confused. Please actually explain your argument. Why is it not okay for straight women to refuse to date bi men on the basis of the sexuality but it is okay for lesbians to refuse to date bi women on the basis of their sexuality? Considering you keep talking about how lesbians are oppressed and straight women aren’t, I had to assume that was your argument. You were giving literally no other context.

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Anonymous OP 16h

question for you. according to society are women supposed to be with men or women?

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Anonymous #5 16h

No I asked my question first.

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Anonymous OP 16h

this is part of answering your question.

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Anonymous #5 16h

No it’s not. You can just say what you think the answer is. But let’s do this, since you’re being dense. Traditionally, women are expected to be with men. But that’s not really relevant to the idea that lesbians can be biphobic. Biphobia can come from both straight and queer people. Homophobia can be spread by gay people (Lindsey Graham), transphobia can be spread by trans people (Blair White), racism can be spread by black people (Clarence Thomas). Minorities are not immune from bigotries

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Anonymous OP 16h

nice of you to speak for me, but yes, its part of answering your question. So, as we can agree that societally women are supposed to date men, can we also agree that this is something that is enforced societally through hate, corsion, ignoring of boundaries, assault, and that it can be isolating to not do what society demands of you?

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Anonymous #5 16h

Bisexuals are also not doing what society expects from us, even if it’s not in the same way. Believe it or not I was also bullied for my sexuality in middle and high school. My family had to stop attending the church we had been going to my whole life after I came out because of how the congregation treated me and my parents. And when I date a man (or a masc presenting nonbinary person) I am excluded from the queer community.

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Anonymous OP 16h

(1/2) yes. however you are not doing what is expected of you in a different way, yes. this is exactly the point. its why bi4bi people exist. it’s why t4t people exist. some people just want to be with someone who had/has it the same way. not that they have anything against people who had it differently. ofc there are definitely some people who are les4les because they think people who date/like men are gross and icky. those people are biphobic. that’s not ok. However thats different than just

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Anonymous #5 16h

(2/2) wanting someone who has been through things for the same reasons. cis women have never been marginalized on the basis of them being straight (they are for their sexuality but thats a whole different thing). they have nothing to be the same or different when it comes to sexuality. straight people are oppressors of queer people. the only reason they then have left is the ick or calling them not men or feminine, which is also wrong and not ok. i do hope this made sense

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Anonymous #5 15h

Bro I mean this with full sincerity, you can’t read 😭 I have said multiple times in every single comment thread on this post that the problem is people who refuse to date bi people on the basis that they’re bi. That’s biphobic. It doesn’t matter if it’s a straight woman or a lesbian doing it. The condescension with which you’re speaking with me is not warranted when you are literally just repeating back the end point that I have made over and over again lmao

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Anonymous OP 15h

is there a difference between not wanting to date a bi person because you would rather date someone with a similar experience of oppression to you and not wanting to date a bi people because they’re gross and icky and whatever else biphobic please say about us

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Anonymous OP 15h

did you read anything i wrote..?

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Anonymous OP 15h

This was your original stance. 2 said les4les is very different than a straight person refusing to date a bi person, and your response was “How?”. You then said the reasoning for both was that they don’t want to be with someone who has been with the gender they aren’t attracted to, which is not what les4les is. You later denied this after getting pushback, and pretended you hadn’t argued this several comments earlier.

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Anonymous #3 13h

Buddy. The comment is literally explaining that if you are refusing to date bi people as a lesbian for the reasons of misogyny or refusing to date bi people as a straight person for the reasons of homophobia that is biphobic????? I fear you can’t read. Like actually go back and read all of the comments I’ve written. The point in all of them is that not dating bi people because they’re bi is biphobic. I haven’t backtracked on anything lol

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Anonymous OP 5h

Did you even read my comment? To reiterate. Your first comment here was a response to a comment talking about how being LES4LES is not the same as a straight person not dating a bi person, and your comment was “How?”. You then proceeded to describe the reasoning for BOTH as not wanting to date someone who’s dated the opposite gender.

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Anonymous OP 5h

My comment specifically addressed your later comments. I genuinely don’t think you read my comment at all. In those following comments you backpedaled after some valid criticism, which is fine, but now you’re acting like you never argued what you initially did. Everyone here can read what you wrote in that first comment. I circled it and highlighted it for you.

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