Anonymous #1 2w

it’s not about the “mainstreamification” of bisexuality, it’s living in a culturally conservative moment and queer people who have the option to assimilate into safety (by choosing/pursuing straight relationships, living as their ASAB, etc) are doing so more often. there is also clearly a degree of internalized homophobia (that they are now externalizing) and a limited ability to safely explore one’s sexuality.

18

Anonymous #2 2w

I disagree. I feel like bi people have nothing to really fear compared to fully gay people. Also even in times of strife, historically queer people don’t typically run away from that but they double down and y’know fight for their rights. Queerness doesn’t just go away because a few homophobes appear, and if it does then there wasn’t any real queerness to begin with imo.

-8

Anonymous #3 2w

That’s fair but why gear your profile to basically only signal you want to be with men. Like I get that but then why list that you like women if you only want to date men

30

Anonymous OP 2w

I don’t know it is kinda weird

12

Anonymous #1 2w

I don’t think the fact that they haven’t kissed a women means they’re not bi, because by that logic if you haven’t done anything you are bisexual until proven otherwise. And I think it can move in the other direction of “well maybe you just haven’t had the right man how would you know” to lesbians. But I do think some women say they’re bi when they just mean they think women are pretty

32

Anonymous #1 2w

Well you only see the queer people that fight because they’re making themselves visible. If you’re hiding you don’t see them, that doesn’t mean they’re don’t exist that’s just survivorship bias

17

Anonymous OP 2w

I didn’t say that actually. I said if you’ve been with only men but no women something doesn’t add up. How can you drunkenly fuck men but you can’t drunkenly kiss a woman? That makes no sense to me but ok. I also love the idea that everyone is bisexual until proven otherwise and that’s how I live my life thinking

-7

Anonymous #3 2w

The preference for men it’s fine it’s more that you list bi but also say you won’t end up with a woman long term and you also won’t date casually (at least for that one person)

20

Anonymous #1 2w

I know you didn’t say that I’m saying based on the logical framework you’re working with, if you extend it then that would be true inevitably

20

Anonymous #1 2w

I also think it can be very hard to date other women depending on where you live. I don’t think that’s the right criteria to go off of. If you have plenty of opportunity and freedom but you still remain with men and only pursue men then yeah I’d say that’s a bit strange

22

Anonymous #1 2w

So if everyone is bisexual and proven otherwise what do you think would prove that they’re not

13

Anonymous #1 2w

Until* not and. I’m also genuinely asking I’m not trying to be contrarian

10

Anonymous OP 2w

I don’t think this is something you can extend because if you’ve never had any experiences we aren’t talking about you. We’re talking about if you are sexually and romantically active but you still haven’t been with women or considered or spoken about real life attraction to women. Finding women pretty doesn’t mean you’re bi. If you’ve went on dates with women but haven’t kissed them, or at least tried to seek them out this doesn’t apply to them and would never apply to them?

-3

Anonymous #1 2w

Btw I actually don’t disagree with the whole mislabeling bi thing I just think not being with women is a good framework to apply as a whole

15

Anonymous OP 2w

I think that’s only true if you try to date in your area. There’s plenty of women who use dating apps to find women and try to meet women that way, they don’t just say “oh man there’s no queer women here, I guess I better just date a man”

-2

Anonymous #1 2w

I mean I think there are a lot of factors. Family, community, previous indoctrinated beliefs, etc. Realizing you like men as a woman is straightforward with no barriers but I think there are barriers with women. Some people will have an easier time in their life dating women than others

16

Anonymous #1 2w

But I don’t disagree with the fact that a lot of women use the bi label incorrectly

14

Anonymous #1 2w

I’m more just saying your logic works for some people but not for others

12

Anonymous OP 2w

I don’t even think it’s about dating women necessarily, it’s about whether you know it and if you do choosing not to act on it. I have a friend who says shes bi but she only considers dating men, and she routinely sleeps with them. In her case I don’t think any of those would apply because she sleeps with men regularly and her family wouldn’t like that, they wouldn’t advocate for sleeping around like that no matter the gender. I just have a hard time understanding how you as an adult can let

-2

Anonymous OP 2w

Someone else dictate your life. My family is homophobic and I just don’t tell them I’m queer. That doesn’t stop me from being queer just because someone won’t like it. It’s just a bit odd that there are people who will when they can still go out and sleep with men although their family might not like that either

-2

Anonymous OP 2w

I think my logic works for who it needs to work for….

-1

Anonymous #1 2w

That doesn’t stop you specifically from being queer but I feel like it’s not hard to understand that it’s not that easy for some people. If it ostracizes you from your whole community or puts you in a physically or emotionally unsafe situation that’s different. I feel like if you understand queer history, this shouldn’t be so hard to grasp

14

Anonymous #1 2w

Ok I feel like you’re willfully trying to misunderstand and not see the nuance in this situation and experience so I don’t think it’s worth discussing. Privilege can fog your view of how difficult something is. It’s more complex than that

14

Anonymous #1 2w

I also feel like there’s a good chance you’re like 20 so you can’t really speak for the queer community

14

Anonymous #1 2w

this is bi erasure lol you don’t need to kiss a girl to like girls, you’re just being a fucking exclusionist which has no place here

5

Anonymous #3 2w

Yeah I mean I’m bi and lean towards women, I always had my profile set to see women only

5