LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | How to stop being bitter about sex? Im a lesbian and through 15 diff sexual partners no one has ever made me cum. It makes me bitter and not have any faith in my partners ab it but i always get proved right and i think it makes it harder :(

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LGBTQIA+ 1d

How to stop being bitter about sex? Im a lesbian and through 15 diff sexual partners no one has ever made me cum. It makes me bitter and not have any faith in my partners ab it but i always get proved right and i think it makes it harder :(

Anonymous 1d

How well are you communicating what you need? Are you telling them what they can do better?

Anonymous 1d

Pls any advice u cam comment or dm but its seriously ruining sex for me because i cant trust any of my partners will care about my pleasure

Anonymous 1d

can I ask do you think you have normal sensitivity and reactivity? like I have an arousal disorder, so I have really reduced sensitivity and it's also really difficult for partners to get me off as well. I have a specialist I'm working with to try to fix it though. but I definitely understand the disappointment you're feeling

Anonymous 1d

i don’t think it’s a you problem by the sound of it !! i also have a hard time finishing and usually only do once even with oral. while it can be easy for your partner(s) to get discouraged, it helps to be very specific about how to do things, not get in ur head about whether it’ll happen or not, and try everything at least once. continue encouraging them to try !

Anonymous 1d

That's funny

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Anonymous

#1 1d

Yes every time. They just get discouraged and eventually stop trying

Anonymous

#2 1d

Why is it funny

Anonymous

#4 22h

this sounds like me… what can you do to fix it?

Anonymous

#5 22h

find a specialist!! if you have vulva it's going to be a little difficult to find since that side of medicine is very under researched the easiest path is going to an obgyn and having them refer you out to a specialist. personally it took 3 doctors before one actually listened and took me seriously, but don't give up! you can also just cold call specialists near you and see if any will take you without a reference.

Anonymous

#4 22h

personally I need medication to fix this so we're currently trying out different medications and seeing what has any effect on me! like we've done an ultrasound to try to find the source, like I'm getting improper blood flow or have impacted nerves, and we may also try an mri at some point if the next round of meds don't work.

Anonymous

#4 22h

huh, interesting. i didn’t know before that there was anything you could do about this haha. thanks for the info!

Anonymous

#5 20h

Huh, ive never thought that a doctor could help, although idk when id ever be able to afford that. I dk think its more of a mental thing cuz i can do it myself just fine and also i have not gotten good head like ever so Thatd prob help

Anonymous

OP 20h

doctors can definitely help with sexual arousal disorders! think of how many pills there are for men to help them get it up, it's just not a problem that's well recognized for women. even if it's mental it might be worth talking to a doctor about because things like depression and anxiety can impact arousal but ofc you know yourself best, so do what's right for you!

Anonymous

#4 20h

Im not paying for all that plus ive brought it up while at hrt appts and they seemed to think the meds im on including t are not conducive to also being on penis pills

Anonymous

OP 18h

lol totally fair, thankfully my stuff is covered by insurance so my meds are pretty cheap. ohhh okay that makes sense, well I genuinely hope you end up with a better sexual partner at some point!