LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | am i bisexual or lesbian? i think men are cute. i find them attractive and catch myself staring at them. but the thought of kissing or sleeping with one turns me off. men have never turned me on and i only get turned on by the thought of being with women.

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LGBTQIA+ 13h

am i bisexual or lesbian? i think men are cute. i find them attractive and catch myself staring at them. but the thought of kissing or sleeping with one turns me off. men have never turned me on and i only get turned on by the thought of being with women.

Anonymous 12h

so you find men attractive on purely an aesthetic level? like a nicely balanced face or a good body, pleasant to look at but nothing more?

Anonymous 11h

You can find them attractive you aren’t blind. But if just figure out if it really is just that or more. But tbh it sounds like you aren’t sexually attracted to men

Anonymous 8h

I had to realize that the way that I find men aesthetically appealing was the same way I find animals aesthetically appealing. Like a cute dog or a pretty butterfly, but not someone I’d want to kiss

Anonymous 5h

There is also potential for a split between different kinds of attraction. Like having romantic attraction vs sexual attraction vs aesthetic attraction

Anonymous 8h

i just had a conversation about this with someone and i’m starting to realize that maybe i just like the attention i get from men and find fun in jokingly flirting without it being necessarily romantic. because i definitely don’t fantasize about men but i definitely do with women.

Anonymous

#1 12h

yes. like i used to have “crushes” boys but never really liked them past the first date. i never wanted intimacy with them. i also used to have loads of kpop boy group posters on my walls and find them cute. but i never thought about actually being with them.

Anonymous

#1 12h

idk i’m conflicted because i’d be lying if i said i didn’t find men attractive. i just don’t really desire anything more than maybe flirting? i don’t want to kiss or touch them.

Anonymous

OP 12h

but you do want to do all those things with girls, yeah?

Anonymous

#1 12h

yes, i only think about physical intimacy with women.

Anonymous

OP 12h

obviously your identification is up to you at the end of the day, but it sounds like you've just got a tiny dollop of bisexuality lol

Anonymous

#2 11h

i don’t think i am either but i’m so conflicted because people are really strict with the lesbian identity and i’ve heard a lot of people that any attraction to men at all makes you bisexual. but that also feels wrong because i don’t want sex with men 🥲 idk

Anonymous

OP 11h

They are wrong. Gay men get to talk about how pretty and sexy women are but we can’t do the same? You can find people attractive and not actually be attracted to them

Anonymous

#2 10h

oh then idk. i just don’t wanna use the wrong label 🥲 thanks for helping tho