I’m nb (and poly) and my husband calls me his wife or spouse (which we are actually married) and my bf calls me his boyfriend even though it’s gendered, but it fits with our relationships because I tend to be more fem with my husband (nothing he does, it’s just how I am) and more masc with my bf

30

For the record: When I say “gf feels too gendered” that’s not something they’ve said, I think it feels too gendered, it feels weird coming out of my mouth because my partner isn’t a girl so it doesn’t fit. They’ve called themselves my gf in passing before so I don’t think they mind the term, but I’d still like to find one that’s more casual than wife but feels like them to me.

20

I like wife because it has weight, you know? People hear the word and know I mean this is a person I love, who I’m committed to long term. They’re important to me, so I’m telling you about them. It’s the best way to convey the way I FEEL about my partner even if it doesn’t give people a perfect picture of what we are.

19

Spouse for generic, but my fiance likes to get poetic about it. Eternal love, guiding starlight, radiant deity, etc

17

My partner is nb and we have been girlfriends for 3yrs bc it fits so much better than the gender of bf, and they get enough “boy” related terminology from other people so it’s counterbalancing all that. It’s good to remember that gender is mutable. I’m pan, and saying “gf” makes my own sexuality more legible to other queer folks, but if their pronouns or comfortability with femininity changed I’m happy to use what fits best

10

I use partner (soon to be fiancé) and intend on using both spouse and partner when we get married.

9

The old ball and chain

2