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i hate how terfs have taken “gender socialization” and tainted that discussion with their terfisms because people ARE socialized differently based on how society perceives their gender and sex. Thats a core function of patriarchy yet terfs make it yucky
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Anonymous 2d

Like being socialized as a man and yet being a woman is part of the unique experiences of trans women and vice versa for trans guys. I was socialized as a woman and experienced the oppressions of it yet am a man. Its part of my unique experience as a trans guys

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Anonymous 2d

i'm honestly not a fan of the phrase at all because it seems every time someone uses it it's saying "all ftm/x people were socialized female" "all mtf/x people were socialized male." and while i was technically raised as a girl, it was around tons of men and boys in the south with a mother who didn't enforce gender roles on us and i've passed since i was 13 due to genetics. i did not have a girlhood. i've never experienced life as a woman. and it sucks being told that we ALL went through that

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Anonymous 2d

gender socialization is an extremely nuanced topic and even trans people will make overarching generalizations about it that are offensively untrue. even in trans spaces, I wrinkle my nose when I hear people saying *others* were socialized in a certain way

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Anonymous 2d

also tbh "gender socialization" usually seems on par with when people say shit like "you don't pass because the kindness in your eyes". it seems like pushing dysphoria on people for how the were raised a lot of the time

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Anonymous 2d

Idk it is a good phrase for talking about YOUR OWN experiences but you shouldn’t generalize. Being socialized as a girl has heavily affected my personality, view on life, and how I’m treated by others, but I can’t say the same for all trans men, and I would especially never dare to speak for trans women

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 2d

The difference is you were treated as a girl by society — im definitely aware of the way the term can be used negatively against us but its still relevant socially to understand why we as a community even exist in the first place. If we werent socialized as a certain gender, it probably wouldnt be such a big deal were trans lol

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 2d

Never generalized— but its relevant to understand that society will treat you as the gender it assigns you. I never felt like a woman yet was still treated like one, but i was treated as a woman who did not conform to my assigned gender, which is a different experience from a cis woman for sure. Im saying that our unique experiences as trans people complicate that gender treatment and the way society treats us and socializes us is unique to us. Im definitely not trying to generalize def.

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 2d

Definitely— generalizing any group is unhelpful i agree. I just find alot of trans people are very defensive about the topic due to terfs co opting it as a way to essentially denigrate trans woman, which i totally get

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 2d

I totally get why trans ppl are defensive, not how terfs utilize the language (realized i typed that in a way that made it seem like i was agreeing with terfs 😬)

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 2d

i'm not treated as a girl by society though. i was treated as a queer hippie as a young child and by 13 onwards i passed to everyone as a man. i know it's important for some that they had a girlhood, but some of us also didn't. it doesn't take away from transness, it's just a different experience

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 2d

Im not really necessarily talking about “girlhood” per say. I don’t feel like i had one either. My point is how we are raised is unique to how we are assigned at birth. As a young child, i was told to put up with abuse from boys because “boys are mean to girls they like”. Or for example, when a middle school boy slapped my ass when i was 10, i was told “boys will be boys “ and i needed to wear “a longer skirt as to not tempt them”. Im not saying these are girlhood experiences,

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 2d

These are the experiences of someone who was told they were a girl, which made it mighty difficult for me to grapple with my gender identity. Im not trying to tell you how you are or were or what you experienced, i promise. Its just how we all grow up is dictated by society which is why so many of us come to terms with our queerness so late: these things have been drilled into us.

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 2d

And definitely these things are not a “one size fits all”. We all have unique experiences.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

you never did, but most people’s gripes and hostility towards the topic comes from generalizations. just providing nuance/context

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

that’s fair, although I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone be defensive when someone’s talking about their own socialization. I’ve only seen people get upset when someone says “WE were socialized in X way.” socialization is a complex topic and speaking with authority on another’s experience does deserve some hostility imo

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1d

Fair enough, i can imagine its frustrating to have people tell you what youre experience was, thanks :)

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