LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | there’s been a trend of people shaming & emasculating guys who say they don’t enjoy giving head, even if they say they do it for their partner’s pleasure. it’s phrased as “normalizing guys giving head,” but it’s just gross. it’s not smth they can change.

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LGBTQIA+ 20h

there’s been a trend of people shaming & emasculating guys who say they don’t enjoy giving head, even if they say they do it for their partner’s pleasure. it’s phrased as “normalizing guys giving head,” but it’s just gross. it’s not smth they can change.

Anonymous 20h

I hate seeing this and always call it out when I do Like everyone’s fine with women not liking to give head, but everyone shames men for the same thing, there’s nothing wrong with either

Anonymous 20h

two things can be true, 1) people are allowed to have their own personal sexual boundaries and 2) many men do not give their female partners head due to misogynistic beliefs and a lack of concern for their partner’s pleasure. women calling out a culture that devalues their pleasure and portrays their genitals as disgusting isn’t a personal attack on any specific individual’s preferences.

Anonymous 20h

and yes it is that serious when people are shaming others for a sexual preference. regardless of the reason, shaming something harmless that they can’t change is wrong. that goes doubly for shaming ace and gay guys who haven't realized yet & think there's something broken inside of them.

Anonymous

#2 20h

yeah it’s a weird double standard, and double standards are exactly what these people purportedly fight against. it’s a gross dissonance between stated cause & actual action, and that type of talk from my ex & others around me directly interfered with me realizing I was asexual.

Anonymous

OP 20h

Not only is it harmful to ace people, it’s also just shitty regardless. Like why are we shaming people for sexual preferences that don’t affect you? I’ve also seen many women shame other women who don’t like receiving, it’s so toxic and sad especially when a lot of them call themselves feminists or something to that effect

Anonymous

#3 19h

I’m not talking about call-outs of the culture, I’m talking about specific attacks on individuals who DO just have a preference.

Anonymous

#3 19h

this is what inspired the post, but I’ve talked with other (aro)ace people and a gay guy who experienced targeted shaming in real life—sometimes by partners pressuring them into sex—& people pushing that shaming online is a mirror of how it’s pushed in real life.