
i’m a genderqueer butch but often pass as a man. i’m pretty much fine with being seen as a trans man by cishet society and as someone with a more nuanced/lesbian gender within queer spaces. in my experience a lot of “trans man lesbians” have similar experiences (but i dont use that label myself).
i'm not one but if i was attracted to women instead of men, id likely identify with lesbian over straight because my attraction would feel inherently queer to me, and i grew up in sapphic spaces and relating to sapphic romance and love rather than attraction through the lens of the straight man
on paper, yeah, and there are trans men who do identify as straight, but transitioning doesn't mean you're suddenly the same as a straight man or have the lived experiences of one. many trans men exist in sapphic spaces before coming out, or feel genderqueer in a way that it doesn't make sense to identify as straight to them
so for you it’s more about the feeling of the attraction than the label itself? I can understand what you mean about attraction towards women being different for lesbians and straight men. As a lesbian, you would think I would understand straight men and the way they feel about women but I am genuinely confused by them most of the time. But I would argue this has more to do with the patriarchy and misogyny than attraction, what do you think?
Not the one who was asked, but I’d say attraction and other interpersonal feelings are heavily influenced by societal factors like patriarchy. I firmly believe being a lesbian is detached from gender and sexuality, and rather an experience related to how one is attracted to a woman. Men who “I love my wife” post are closer to being a lesbian than a straight man, because straight men consistently HATE women. The ability to love a woman wholly and always is what defines a lesbian imo