LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | I go by a different name from my legal name. One is explicitly feminine n the other is more gender neutral. Tell me why at the company holiday party my boss was reading out names of acknowledgment and used my legal name in front of the whole firm

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LGBTQIA+ 8w

I go by a different name from my legal name. One is explicitly feminine n the other is more gender neutral. Tell me why at the company holiday party my boss was reading out names of acknowledgment and used my legal name in front of the whole firm

Anonymous 8w

Nobody in the firm knows me as anything besides my preferred name besides HR. I was so embarrassed and stared down my literal boss with a smile and a red face as he kept repeating he didn’t know. And wonderfully enough, the head of HR whose table I was sitting at let us know she wrote the list😀 so ur gonna tell me, you made a mistake? After calling me by my preferred name to my face for months now. I didn’t even confront her about it but it was just so disrespectful. It shook me up so bad

Anonymous 8w

It probably really was a genuine mistake. The records they used to make the list was probably a payroll/official staff list they use for insurance purposes, which wouldn’t include the preferred name, and it just slipped their mind. Ofc they SHOULD have double checked, and it sucks they didn’t, but it’s very unlikely t was malicious (unless they have a routine of these issues, which from your comments it doesn’t seem like they do)

Anonymous 8w

You should make your preferred name your legal name

Anonymous

OP 8w

Also I present femininely and go by she/her pronouns at work. It felt targeted even though I don’t even deviate from gender norms

Anonymous

#1 8w

It was a list of acknowledgments where they listed things like new fathers, new staff, and retirees. They had to specifically put together these lists. I would prefer it if I just overreacted, so despite the type of list, do u think it was still a mistake?

Anonymous

OP 8w

Yeah, probably. Preferred names typically aren’t written down on official paperwork and just used for communication. Unless it becomes a habit of them doing it, bc then it’s just plain neglect and lack of oversight bc they don’t care enough to check. But if it’s a one time thing it was most likely a slip up

Anonymous

#2 8w

Not everyone is ready to do that, wants to do it, or can do it. I’ve used the same name (not my legal) name for 3 years, my partner has used a masc nickname instead of their legal name since birth, neither of us have changed ours legally.

Anonymous

#1 8w

Okay thank you, this has helped me relax. But now I stared down my boss for virtually no reason💀

Anonymous

OP 8w

You to your boss 👁️👁️

Anonymous

#1 8w