LGBTQIA+ on Sidechat | I consider myself straight but Im dating a trans man who’s been on T for 3 years and I had no idea he was trans until he told me and all my friends are insisting I’m now pan, but I think that invalidates his legitimacy as a man. But does that make me pan?

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LGBTQIA+ 3w

I consider myself straight but Im dating a trans man who’s been on T for 3 years and I had no idea he was trans until he told me and all my friends are insisting I’m now pan, but I think that invalidates his legitimacy as a man. But does that make me pan?

Anonymous 3w

It is straight for a straight woman to date a man, yeah. Your friends are being kinda shitty.

Anonymous 3w

Are you pan? No? Then you’re not! They don’t determine how to label your experiences. He’s a man, you’re attracted to men from my gathering, and feel comfortable saying you’re straight. You’re the one who determines what label fits you and your experiences. You and only you! 😊

Anonymous 3w

You're a woman dating a man... also your friends are transphobic:(

Anonymous 3w

are you a woman?

Anonymous 3w

Girl, do you think that dating a man makes you pansexual. Fellas is it gay for a woman to like a man.

Anonymous

#1 3w

Yes sorry I should’ve specified that

Anonymous

OP 3w

no worries lol, i just wanted to double check. yes, a woman dating a man is straight. you’re only attracted to men and identify as straight, great. pretty simple. the people telling you that you’re pan are being transphobic. you’re right they’re undermining his legitimacy as a man. they’re also repeating a very specific form of transphobia, the idea there’s a special sexuality just for being attracted to trans people (pansexuality) and that trans people aren’t included in other sexualities.

Anonymous

#1 3w

Thank you I really needed to hear this because it was lowkey making me spiral and question my whole life lol

Anonymous

OP 3w

the next time they harass you about this, i would suggest asking if they would tell a lesbian she has to identify as pan if she dates a trans woman (or a gay man he has to identify as pan if he dates a trans man).

Anonymous

OP 3w

no dw. they’re just don’t know wtf they’re taking about. sorry they’re trying to define your sexuality for you, that’s fucked up.

Anonymous

#1 3w

Thank you I appreciate it. It crazy because my 3 friends who keep telling me I’m pansexual now are bisexual, lesbian, and pansexual so you think they’d be cool lol

Anonymous

OP 3w

you’d hope so but 🤷‍♀️

Anonymous

#4 3w

I know that you don’t think this with the way that you wrote your thing, but like literally if your friends say it again be like, do you think it’s gay to like a man?